Sad :-( UPDATE

[Laura_James&Amber]

She's gone she went in her sleep just after 3 this afternoon. Her dad phoned me to tell me, managed to keep a hold of myself whilst talking to him but as soon as I got off the phone I just cried and cried with OH hugging me, couldn't stop for ages. Even though I knew it would happen, I'm still in shock, but I guess I need to accept it. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye and I'm gutted but at the same time I have some great memories so its those I need to concentrate on. I also had to break the news to my parents which was very hard. Not sure how I'm feeling to be honest, just numb I guess.
Thankyou for all your lovely messages, its means a lot, your all so lovely on here






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I'm not sure if I've put this post in the right place as its not about being pregnant but I really need to get this off my chest. A few days ago I found out that one of my best friends has only 3 weeks left to live, she's got a brain tumor. We went to nursery, primary school, secondary school and college together. Although we went off to do different things after college, we still keep in touch and meet up regularly. It all started in march when she was told she had throat cancer, they caught it in time and operated and gave her radiotherapy and things were looking up and we all felt positive she would come through it. I went to visit her most days whilst she was in hospital and when she was at home. A few weeks back she told me she had a brain tumor but it wasn't aggressive and they would be either operating or giving her chemotherapy. After that I hadn't heard from her for a few days and couldn't get through to her on her mobile as it was switched off which straight away I thought was odd because her phone is normally glued to her ear, she's never off it. I finally managed to get hold of her sister who told me what was going on. I'm devastated and in total shock but at the same time I don't think its sunk in, I've kind of been in denial and its only now that I have been able to talk about it. I plucked up the courage to ring her today as I haven't known what to say and have been putting it off, I know that sounds terrible. I spoke to both her parents and they told me she's too ill to come to the phone and not up for visitors. I think it was then it really hit me and by the sound of it I'm not sure she will last 3 weeks. I also feel guilty because I'm off on holiday for a few days towards the end of August, I feel so selfish. If I'd known what would happen I wouldn't have booked it.
Sorry girls, I don't mean to depress you all, I just needed to get this out and try and understand my feelings. I can't cry, I feel numb and in a way think I'm acting like nothing has happened. I just don't understand anything to be honest. Thankyou for listening if you have read this and I'm sorry this is such a negative post.

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Oh thats awful hun! If she isnt up for visitors maybe you could send her a letter or something?

Poor thing must be scared and feeling really ill,i can understand how its knocked you for six.

Thinking of you and her during this horrible time

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

Thanks hun. Think I will write to her, thats a good idea, thankyou

 

[fran_23]

Sorry to hear that hun thats awful news- i can't imagine how sad you
must be feeling- i hope you are ok and writing a letter sounds like a good idea!
x

 

[lisanat]

hi hun,

Please don't feeel guilty about your holiday or how you are feeling. It is so hard when someone you care about is going through that and to know everything s so final is even harder. You have been there for her more than you feel you have. All the hospital visits and the days when she was having chemo would hae meant so much to her you being there then. i am sure she will understand that you have found it hard and for the same reasons that she wouldnt have told you. If she isnt up for visitors how about sending a card explaining how you feel. I'm sure she will really love that and will also know you are thinking of her.
I lost 2 friends to cancer over the last few months and I know how awful I felt and the guilt I feel over not seeing them enough etc is unbelievable. If you need to chat PM me hun.thinking of you.

Lisa
xxxx

 

[dannii87]

That's awful I don't know what to say hun other than write a letter like aramintalovegrove said

Hope she feels a bit better soon so you can go visit or speak to her x

 

[NICCI]

this must b soooo hard for you!!!!! the letter sounds like a good idea!

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

Thankyou for all your lovely messages, everyone is so fab on here . Nearly made me cry reading them! still can't get the tears out though

 

[kerrymac]

Aww Laura, that is such awful news I am so sorry!!
Try not to feel guilty for having a holiday, this has obviously happened so quickly and Im sure she wouldnt want you to put your life on hold.
As for writing to her, I think that is a really good idea ask her how she feels about visitors? I know her parents have said she is too ill for visitors, but they might just be trying to protect her and she might really want to see her friends.
My best friend Died very suddenly last year when she got hit by a car, and I never got to say goodbye, that is one thing I wish I could have done, I had lots to tell her.

I hope all goes as well as it can hun, I am thinking of you

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

Thanks hun I'm sorry to hear about your friend too

 

[helsbels]

Oh Laura, I'm so sorry my heart goes out to you. My best friend also died suddenly from leukaemia when I was 18. There are no words really and can only echo what others have said. Remember to take care of yourself, thinking of you

 

[Mildly]

Sorry to hear about your friend hun