Routines

[Tadpole]

At what age did y'all start getting your LOs into a routine?

We have no routine. We have fallen into a pattern of her feeding every 2-3 hours, sometimes a bit longer, on demand. She has a feed around about 6ish, sometimes before sometimes later, then we have a bit more and get up about 9.30. In the evening I go to bed about 10ish and read while I give her a feed. We are co-sleeping at the moment as well. I never really 'put her down' to sleep in the day either - she normally sleeps on my chest. I keep getting told I am making a rod for my own back blah blah blah. When should I try getting her to sleep by herself? The problem is I just love cuddling her and find it very hard to let go.

I'm not really one for routines. I tend to play things by ear and just see how it all goes. As I say, we have a kinda pattern to the days but they aren't routine IYKWIM and can change quite easily. We get done what needs to be done but am I taking the easy route?

I bought the Gina Ford book, read a few pages and then chucked it in the bin.

 

[LisaJ1986]

We've never had a routine as such. About 10 weeks Angel kinda fell into a pattern of needing to be in bed by 10pm or she'd scream! Then it got earlier and now it's around 8.30 that she needs to be in bed by.
I never forced anything on her. she just did this herself.

 

[Charlie:-)]

Maia was about 6 weeks old when I started her bedtime routine.

About the same time I also started to put her down in her cot for a nap with the curtains closed so that she could get used to her bedroom and her cot ready for when she moved into her own room.

Bedtime is the only routine we have, the rest of the day I go on her lead for napping and feeding.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Faith was 8 weeks before i started to put her to bed at a set time. The rest of the day she leads and I follow but at about 7.30pm-8pm we go upstairs for half hour nappy off time, followed by a bath, milk, cuddles and story and then sleeeeeep

 

[Redshoes]

We started Isaac's bedtime routine at 5months, as we co-slept up until then and it was only when introducing the cot we felt we needed to change anything, I don't think there are very bad mistakes you can make but I do think some decisions can cause issues for the future, in respect of not letting them settle themselves to sleep being a biggy, I know as we've had issues with Isaac's sleep and its not fun, so this time around we will be different with Ophelia but only as we'll be comfortable doing it, I totally understand your not wanting to put Olivia down, just do what you feel is right for your family and lifestyle, rod for your back chat is very negative, and doesn't help or support anyone

 

[Becs]

To be honest the title of this post is a bit confusing. It sounds as though the last thing you want is a routine, so stick with what you are doing, it's obviously how you are happiest.

B

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

We've just started her bedtime routine of bath between 7pm and 8pm, feed, cuddle time and then down to bed by 10pm at the latest.

You seem to be working well with what you are doing. Aimee is fed on demand as well which during the day is every 4/5 hours but since we started her bedtime routine she is sleeping 10 hours without needing a feed. As for a daytime routine we have no such thing. I play it by ear during the day.

Don't let anyone (GP, HV, or us even!) tell you how to do it. What feels good for you and your lil bubs is what matters.

 

[Tadpole]

To be honest the title of this post is a bit confusing. It sounds as though the last thing you want is a routine, so stick with what you are doing, it's obviously how you are happiest.

B

I don't really want to force a routine if it isn't necessary BUT I don't want to create issues in the future because of my insistence, (stubborness?) on doing things 'my way'. Like never being able to get her to settle by herself.

I should probably have asked what will happen if I don't put a routine in place. And for daytime naps do you put her in her own room? Or let her sleep in her basket in the lounge? I think I need some advice in between no routine and GF regimented routines.

Thanks

 

[Becs]

Oh bless I see where you are coming from. The thing to remember for now is that your LO still has a very very short term memory so don't feel you have to rush if you are going to try anything new. I do put my LO to sleep in his nursery but that has always suited me best as I have cats and want to be sure they don't sneak in with him but also it means I am free to shuffle around making as much noise as I like while he's asleep. His nursery is almost pitch black too which I find really helps him sleep and he has a good 2 hrs every lunchtime leaving me with a chance to relax/ sleep or whatever I need to catch up on. He was in a moses basket by our bed until he was 8 weeks and I used to leave it in the bedroom during the day for the same reason. If you are interested in following a sort of routine but not a strict one then a good tip is to get the Gina ford book and see how much day time sleep your little one is advised to have during the day for its given age and then work on trying to get that about right but at times that work for you and your little one rather than the regimented times she dictates. Then try to do a bed bath routine about the same time each night and this should help work towards getting your little one to sleep through the night or at least wake up less. Not sure if that helps.

Best of luck,
Becs x x

 

[beanie]

To be honest the title of this post is a bit confusing. It sounds as though the last thing you want is a routine, so stick with what you are doing, it's obviously how you are happiest.

B

I don't really want to force a routine if it isn't necessary BUT I don't want to create issues in the future because of my insistence, (stubborness?) on doing things 'my way'. Like never being able to get her to settle by herself.

I should probably have asked what will happen if I don't put a routine in place. And for daytime naps do you put her in her own room? Or let her sleep in her basket in the lounge? I think I need some advice in between no routine and GF regimented routines.

Thanks

I have never had a routine with either of my 2 and so far they seem to have turned out ok. Seren at the age of 2 years will sleep in her bed (she occasionally comes into bed with me but that doesn't bother me as it is so occasional and I like snuggling up with her) and sleep through. Cally sleeps when she is tired, whereever she likes and seems happy. She usually has a boob before bed and falls asleep but then she is just as likely to fall asleep by herslef.

I persoally believe children will do things like self soothe, sleep on their own etc when they feel ready - no-one has ever heard of an 18 year old who needs a breastfeed to fall asleep or who still insists on sleeping in mummy's bed. If you are happy going with the flow then go for it.

If you would prefer a routine then go for that too but if you are breastfeeding I would not advise following a feeding ruotine like the Gina Ford, Baby Whisperer etc as this can be detrimental to your milk supply and in the case of the GF can mean babyis missing out on some of the benefits of breastfeeding.

 

[Becs]

P.S - I was always very sceptical and reluctant to do the putting them down with their eyes open too. But I did start trying it and got amazing results in terms of him being able to settle himself back to sleep after waking. Like he remembered he fell asleep without me to begin with so is happy to do it again. I tend to use a dummy to settle Austin in my arms then when he is on the verge of falling properly to sleep, I take it out (sometimes quite a tug to remove it) and then I put him down and kiss his head and say night night so if his eyes are shut he opens them enough to realise he is now in his cot/moses basket. By that point he is so ready for sleep anyway he just drifts off without his dummy or me. The only time it hasn't worked is when he has needed a bit more winding. Anyway, up to you but be brave you might be surprised

P.P.S Gina Fords methods are built around increasing your milk supply even more than non routine by expressing an extra bit to encourage higher production for during growth spurts, she also advises to feed your baby if it seems hungry out of the routine. It is a common misconception that her routines mean babies have to wait to be fed when they are hungry. This is simply not true.

 

[beanie]

Whilst she says to feed a hungry baby her ideal routine (and that of the Baby whisperer frown on demand feeding and set an "ideal" - i.e. for a 4 week old "up by 7am, feed to be finished by 7.45am, nap in his room at 8.45am, woken an hour later, 25 minutes at the breast at 10am, play on his mat at 10.30am, in bed by 11.45am, awake again by 2pm, feed now but must be over by 3.15pm, walk at 4pm, next feed to be over by 5pm, bath at 5.45pm, feeding by 6.15pm, and "fully swaddled and in the dark, with the door shut, no later than 7pm". I have yet to meet a breastfed baby at that age who will go with that, I do know that there are some but they are a very rare type. It can make some breastfed mums question whether their child is getting enough and quite frankly does not allow for growth spurts. Expressing is an artificial form of stimulating the breast and is not as effective, so her methods will not increase milk supply more then demand feeding. The majority of mums will find that their milk supply will not increase enough - babies are designed to feed frequently during growth spurts and demand feeding also allows them to develop their own appetite control.
I know you have had success with the GF routines and that is great but I do not think she is breastfeeding friendly.

 

[Becs]

It worked for me and on the days it didn't I just went with it. I found he rarely demanded food as always got it when he needed it. I guess I am that rare breed. I do know a number of others who are that rare breed too. Having said that - once Austin developed reflux I had to kiss goodbye to the feed times fitting in the routine. But the sleep patterns still work for me. It definetly is a book to not take too seriously if it isn't working for you. I can see why it would lead to some very upset mums otherwise.