Remember me telling you my ex had died?

[Vickyleigh]

I made a post a couple of days ago telling you I had found out my ex boyfriend of 5 years had died after falling from a balcony in Tenerife.
Well I don't know what to do, i'm starting to go crazy! The thing is, I have this really really strong niggling feeling telling me it's not true. I'm not in denial or anything like that but I can't stop thinking about it.
His friend rang me and told me and he said "so Dean keeled over then" they were his exact words. He didn't sound upset and he seemed more interested in asking about my OH and the baby.
I've looked around on google for hours trying to find something about it. I checked the Tenerife newspapers, his local paper, other news sites but there's absolutly nothing and there would have been something about it somewhere but there isn't.
I don't live in the same town as him anymore so it's not easy finding out if it's a lie or not. Part of me is saying to just assume he is dead and move on but the other part is telling me to find out the truth because if it is a lie then I want to know why and how could he do that. What would you do??

 

[jenna]

can you contact any of his family hun? Maybe by phone or email?

 

[frangelle]

Oh hun

Do you definately know that its true?

xxx

 

[x-kirsty-x]

There wouldnt necessarily be anything in the news about it hun, I found out my Dad killed himself years ago over a big court case, this was just in Middlesborough and even to this day I search old newspapers and news sites archives to see if I can find anything but I never can. Not every single death makes the news Im afraid.

Can you not speak to his friend again and ask for more info? You have every right to want to know the truth, ex or not I know I couldnt just assume it was true and move on.

I know it sounds awful but I hope its true hun cos lying about something like that would just be sick.

Hope you're ok

 

[MissGobby]

i agree with Kirsty hun - i hope your alright

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

If you know the town he lived in you should be able to look it up on the Births Deaths and Marriages register at his local registry office. Heres a good place to start http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/

Good luck hun

 

[Sassyminx]

do you still have feelings for him? seems from you post you have?

 

[Vickyleigh]

No i'm well over him. It's just that its all stuck in my mind and I can't exactly talk to my OH about it.
I could try and find his mums number in the phone book and ring her but what would be the point? If he wasn't dead it wouldn't make a difference to me. I wouldn't want to see him and I definatly wouldnt want to speak to him so I'm just going to assume he is dead and get on with my own life. Sorry to ramble on...

 

[MissGobby]

Sorry to ramble on...

dont be sorry hun!!!! i would be the same in your position, i would want to find out if it is true or not.

 

[tuck]

If the accident happened in tenerife try contacting the British Consulate there, I dunno wether they would tell you anything but it's worth a try.

 

[neeko_1]

mmmh very tricky... you can find out about it on the net... i was looking for the article about my friend and came across it..

the family would be the best place to start...



you should always go by your instinct tho

 

[Rosebay]

Hmm. I think I'd want to know one way or another too even though it doesn't mean that you want to talk to him or anything. I think it's just human to want to know if someone you once loved is dead or not regardless of your present feelings.

I work as a University Librarian and have access to a database of all UK newspapers, local and national that is searchable (much more accurate than a Google search as it includes all the obituaries etc too) so if you want to PM me the details that you know (his name, the rough date of the accident, any info about where in Tenerife) then I can check that for you if you like? As others have said deaths don't always reach the news although I would be surprised if there wasn't a mention somewhere, especially in the local newspaper. Other than that a check in the registry office as glitzyglamgirl suggests would be the place to go.

If you did find out that he was lying then I'd just take that to mean that he wants to be totally out of your life and that sounds like that's the way you want it too anyway.

If you don't want to know then go with your feelings. You could always find out later if you change your mind.

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