Rant - Breastfeeding comments

[tinkerbell13]

Just needed to vent really, this post is in no way meant to cause debate (and please if you ff don't write nasty comments on here as it's not an attack against ff)

My lo is nearly 6 months and I ebf, we had a lot of issues at the start (he couldn't latch, bad advice at hospital (forced to top up with formula to be released from hospital, tongue tie diagnosed, tongue tie cut, retraining him to re latch etc) I or should I say we had a very tough start to breastfeeding but I was determined and with lots of support we've done it and reached nearly 6 months. I am pleased that I kept going and didn't give up and am hoping to continue until hes a year old.

I'm in no way against ff if that's your choice or if you were not able to bf and I'm in no way a person who goes round preaching about bf BUT recently I've encountered comments from family (oh family not mine) friends and people at baby groups saying to name a few 'it's time you got him on a bottle', 'introduce formula to we can feed him' 'you shouldn't be breastfeeding after 6 months it's just weird' to 'I think that mom's carry on breastfeeding for themselves not for baby's benefit and it's a phycological (sorry if I spelt wrong) issue they have' to 'you're spoiling baby and he won't be independent'. A friend even started reeling off benefits of ff over bf!!

So I'm slightly miffed, mad even. Admittedly most if not all comments have come from ppl who ff but this annoys me as I do not make any comments to them about not breastfeeding and the benefits of this so why do they feel they can make comments to me?I don't care how other ppl feed their child, ff or bf it's your choice!

Argghh rant over. It makes me want to breastfeed for longer.

 

[Maud]

Sorry people are being so rude to you

You've done amazingly well to get through all the early difficulties of breastfeeding. Try to ignore them and enjoy that you've reached the easy period. If people are desperate to help feed him then just point out to them that he'll be weaning soon so they can help with solids meals if they want.

 

[Sprout]

Ugh I get the same from family members - things like I should give her a bottle of formula before bed so she'll sleep through. No thank you, I have absolutely no issue with her waking for feeds if that's what she needs.

I agree that I would never start preaching about BFing out of nowhere but when people are making comments like that I think it's fine to tell them that there are countless studies which show the many health and psychological benefits of BFing and that the World Health Organisation recommends BFing until two! You could point them in the direction of things like this http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/12/timeline-of-breastfed-baby.html and this https://news.brown.edu/articles/2013/06/breastfeeding

Alternatively you could tell them to bugger off and mind their own...

 

[Rooster30]

I FF, but would never make comments on how other people feed their children. It's not anyones place to make comment. Ignore them.

 

[Louise2013]

Bloody hell I am shocked people would speak to you like that. I had a really tough time bf and after three weeks had no choice but to move to ff as I was slipping into PND as a result of the issues we were having but bloody hell I would have loved to do what you have done and I would be damned proud of it. Don't let anyone else make you feel anything other than that hun, do it for as long as you like so long as you and baby are both happy and sod what anyone else thinks. Be it ff or bf no one has the right to make another parent feel bad about their feeding choices if the baby is happy, healthy and getting nutrition, food and is thriving. Good luck hun and donwhatever makes you and baby happy xxx

 

[Goat]

Hun I would just laugh the comments off and carry on as you like. I breastfed my first for 13 months and she is very independent and confident. I'm breastfeeding my 4 month old and my eldest obviously doesn't remember being breastfed and isnt jealous of it in anyway etc. she just occasionally points to my chest and says 'there baby yumyum'. So all the comments you're getting are just people's opinions, there's no truth in them. Now she's 6 months you'll be weaning her on solids you can suggest those who want to feed her a bottle can spoon feed her some mush instead? Don't worry, you're doing brilliantly!xxx

 

[Rose83]

I have had similar experiences and likewise I don't go around telling FF that they shouldn't be doing it - everyone has the right to chose whatever they want. But it's people who formula fed who are always trying to tell you to stop. My SIL things her nephew is small (he is 3 and wearing 18month old clothes) because he was breast fed for two years. I've also been told that I should mix in hungry baby formula with my breast milk when I start weaning at 6 months because she'll need it?! That was by far the most ridiculous suggestion - why on earth would my milk suddenly not be good enough! My other SIL and her sister failed to breast feed - basically they just found it hard in the first few days and weren't keen enough to carry on through the tough bit and they admit that. And yet both of them as a result fiercely fight the ff corner to the extent that they have become anti breast feeding which in my experience seems to be what happens to people. It's frustrating because I would have ff if I really needed to but I wouldn't have suddenly then advised against breast feeding!

Just ignore everyone and carry on with what you want to do x

 

[Lyllian]

Why either 'side' feels the need to comment i will never understand. Ive just been diagnosed with pnd and the fact i couldnt bf and subsequent comments ive had came out during discussion with my gp as a big contributing factor as to how ive ended up here, thats just incredibly sad and vice versa to bf mums getting comments. Its a disgusting way to make anyone feel when we should all be supporting each other.

take no notice hes your baby you know whats best and absolutely do not listen to any negative comments (i know like i can talk). Tell them to shut up, i wish i had

 

[Goat]

Defo agree Lyllian. Why anyone feels the need to comment or critique anyone else's parenting choices is totally beyond me. These 'super mums' who have it all figured out can pee off!xx

 

[Clairabelle]

My dd is 19 months old now and we are still bf'ing. People probably do think it's time we stopped now but I don't care. It's my baby, my body and my life so it's really nothing to do with them. I am hoping she will just wean off it herself naturally in the next few months but I'm in no rush to stop her at present.
At 6 months your baby is still so young so why would you want to put him on formula if you and he aren't ready for that. You have done amazing well with all the hitches you had at the beginning so you should feel really proud of yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back and tell anyone who thinks you should stop to mind their own business. And the comment about bf baby after 6 months will make them less independent is a load of rubbish. I've got 4 children now and bf them all for over 12 months and each one of them is very independent.
You carry on for as long as you and baby are happy and mentally give the middle finger to these rude people xx

 

[BunnyN]

I mostly just smile and make neutral noises so I dont start ranting .

My younger sister BF until almost 4. She is very socialble, independant, has loads of friends and speeks 3 languages. It didnt seem to do her any harm .

 

[OMGbabyno3]

People need to mind their own!

I am bf, and so pleased and really hope to continue. DD2 was so hungry and with work, I couldn't express enough so she ended up ff quickly.

Where I live, everyone is so pro bf that I'm a bit relieved I'm doing it! The average to stop here is near to 4!

Do what's right for you and tell everyone else to p*ss off!

 

[tinkerbell13]

Thank you soooo much everyone for your comments. I think I'm going to try to carry on until he's at least one. Thanks for the support!

 

[TTT]

I agree people should mind their own bloody business. however I'm all for raising awareness of the benefits of bf simply because I feel that the negativity around it makes it difficult for mums to bf in public. I personally haven't had any nasty comments, but I have had a few stares and I'm always anxious that some one will say something.

 

[Pumpkin9]

I agree with all the ladies, I think we've all had it both ways, bfing mums getting rude and inappropriate comments and ff mums getting inappropriate and rude comments. People don't seem to be able to leave others alone and so we all end up trying to defend our actions when on the whole we've tried to do what's best for our babies

 

[RhondaLou]

The whole breast feeding thing is annoying me at the moment. It's everywhere i go. There is this study and that report etc etc. I am expressing my milk as baby had troubles latching in hospital. He will occasionally go on the breast but is mainly bottle fed ebm with ff at night time. It's not how I intended to do it but sometimes things don't go to plan. What I don't like is that we are made to feel guilty by others whatever our choice.

We all face challenges and have to make choices and must ultimately do what's best for us and our babies. If that's continuing to breast feed then great. If it's using formula then that's fine too. Why can't people let others get on with it. Grr xx

 

[BunnyN]

The whole breast feeding thing is annoying me at the moment. It's everywhere i go. There is this study and that report etc etc. I am expressing my milk as baby had troubles latching in hospital. He will occasionally go on the breast but is mainly bottle fed ebm with ff at night time. It's not how I intended to do it but sometimes things don't go to plan. What I don't like is that we are made to feel guilty by others whatever our choice.

We all face challenges and have to make choices and must ultimately do what's best for us and our babies. If that's continuing to breast feed then great. If it's using formula then that's fine too. Why can't people let others get on with it. Grr xx

I am a believer in the benefits of BFing but I think its unfair that the system seems to be set up to tell you that you are not giving your baby the best unless you BF but then not always backing that up with support. Its like they are setting you up to fail then making you feel like a bad mum when you do. I feel for Mums that have genuine problems BFing. I also have great admiration for mums like you who regularly express because I could never make expressing work.

 

[Sprout]

The whole breast feeding thing is annoying me at the moment. It's everywhere i go. There is this study and that report etc etc. I am expressing my milk as baby had troubles latching in hospital. He will occasionally go on the breast but is mainly bottle fed ebm with ff at night time. It's not how I intended to do it but sometimes things don't go to plan. What I don't like is that we are made to feel guilty by others whatever our choice.

We all face challenges and have to make choices and must ultimately do what's best for us and our babies. If that's continuing to breast feed then great. If it's using formula then that's fine too. Why can't people let others get on with it. Grr xx

I totally get where you're coming from but studies are simply done to broaden knowledge, not to hurt anyone's feelings nor boost egos, and if they do end up swinging someone who was on the fence towards breastfeeding then that's great IMO.

And btw I think you're amazing expressing for your baby. I imagine that's pretty much the most challenging way to feed, you have nothing to feel guilty about at all.

 

[RhondaLou]

Thanks for your words of encouragement ladies. It's not the studies that get to me it's how some people react to them without thinking of the problems some people may face. I'm talking more about social media comments when folks just don't get that not everybody can breast feed and their comments can make those who can't bf and already feel guilty feel even worse xx

 

[JJ Mum]

I bottlefed 3 kids and then breastfed 2 kids till 12 and 13 mths so have been on both sides on the fence.
Bottles are made to feel they are neglecting child, breast made to feel abnormall and doing it for themselves

My own mum would say " about time you stopped " and oh youve done your bit every time she saw me and she bf for 4/6 mths max with us!! I was always shocked and said nope im doing a year !

Your baby , your rules... Xx