Guilty feeling over feeding choice

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by hesty14, Feb 16, 2012.

  1. hesty14

    hesty14 Well-Known Member

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    No need to reply, just need somewhere to get my feelings out as DH does not understand.

    I had a c-sec two weeks ago as LO was breech after a failed attempt at turning her. I was 38 weeks and there were also concerns about get size.

    I'm ff my LO and always intended to but did want to try bf at least once. I did try bf in hospital and gave her the first feed but after that she would not latch on and when she did would only stay on and suckle a couple of times, get fed up nothing was coming out and give up so was advised to give her ff as she needed to eat. It turned out, after she went nearly a day of not latching to me or taking much formula, that she had swolled fluid being pulled out and was full, plus she was in the small side and struggled with sucking that she could not manage breast as it was too much effort to get anything out, so my mind was made up by LO.

    However now I'm feeling really guilty for not persevering with bf or expressing and somehow feel that I'm missing out on something. She is growing well and is so contended and sleeps really well but for some reason today (after going to a mummy baby lunch and being the only ff mummy) I'm racked with guilt that I've done something wrong and am a awful
    Mummy.

    Sorry for long post.
     
  2. vickib_1984

    vickib_1984 Well-Known Member

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    Have you thought about trying again I have heard of some mums beginning to bf a few weeks after birth......maybe try again and see if she will latch on to suckle? I'm presuming your still producing milk xxx


     
  3. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    I had C section also and BF for the first 3 days but couldnt cope after that as Sophie went from latching well to struggling and her constant crying led me to start FF her. I wish I had tried more and waited till my milk came in but because I was on strong antibiotics it put me off and FF means that both me and OH can share the feeds which is a HUGE help when Im trying to get tea ready or do things around the house. Dont feel guilty :) xxx
     
  4. Mrs. KM

    Mrs. KM Well-Known Member

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    I am glad I am not the only one having guilt! My LO is just 6 days old. I always planned to BF, and knew it would be hard but had no idea it would be this hard. Dd latches well, but the problem is that she wants to eat all the time... Literally 6 hours straight with a few 5 minute breaks. I have seen a lactation consultant and a doc. Both say my milk is just slow coming in so to top her up with formula. We have been doing this for two days and she seems so much more satisfied. I feel so guilty though. I still cant decid if i should keep bfing. Feeding her for two hours just to end up giving her a bottle that satisfies her in ten minutes is making me go crazy... I guess the point is that the most important thing is that us moms are happy and not going crazy. Ff and bf babies are all healthy. Xx
     
  5. Constantstar

    Constantstar Well-Known Member

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    Owen is ff and I was originally planning to breast feed. I didn't like it to be perfectly honest ( I hate my boobs being touched anyway!) I also had a c section which made everything painful :/
    Owen was in scbu for 7 days and had to show he was feeding properly etc before they let him come home, so I chose ff as even the nurses could do it and see he was getting better and see how much he was drinking He is happy and healthy. I did express for about 4 days do they did mixed feeds. I'm not feeling guilty all I know is my son Is happy and healthy and that's all that matters! And personally I'm glad he isn't stuck I my boob for hours at a time as I went back to work after 6 weeks due to a new job/ money X
     
  6. ForestLas80

    ForestLas80 Well-Known Member

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    It's such a tough call and in the early days it is v tough to bf your baby and they are not joking when they say it takes 4-6 weeks until bf becomes 100% natural, pain free and easy. We r still bf at 8 weeks and feel I can do it for the long haul now. If u want to try bf again do as I find it so rewarding and maybe u will too? If u don't want to and feel it's peer pressure making u feel bad then don't beat yourself up over it at all. U r doing a fab job either way :)
    Happy well fed babies whichever way bf or ff are the main thing and happy mummies are v important too :)
    Do contact your health visitor or any of the bf groups for help and advice. La leche etc. Good luck xx
     
  7. hesty14

    hesty14 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies. Nice to know that we all feel the same at some point. I never wanted to bf as really didnt like the thought if it as I am not keen on my boobs being touched or to be honest the general thought of it. Dd is doing well and eating well and it is nice to know what she is taking as she really struggled with feeding at the start and could barely get a ounce down her now she is taking 3-4.

    It was a bit if peer pressure that was making me feel guilty as they were all sitting over lunch bf and saying about the closeness they get etc. Now I always tend to feed dd as I want that closeness of and she has started to really look at me while feeding and we always have a nice cuddle after. But all were moaning how tired they were that LO's were only going 2 hours between feeds and dd just slept the whole time.

    I feel alot better today after posting this and knowing that I'm not alone and my feeling of happy baby happy mummy is shared.
     
  8. Olive

    Olive Well-Known Member

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    Just wanted to say I felt the same guilt, and still do when I think about it. I always intended to bf and gave myself such a hard time about it. I had a c section, milk didn't come in and he wouldn't latch at all. He was hysterical everytime the mw tried to help him latch on. After 2 days I gave him formula because I hated seeing him upset. I was unwell after I had him tbh and didn't cope well at all the first week, mainly because I was in hospital. I tried bf when I got out and expressing but no luck. Although expressing did start my milk off.

    I almost feel like I can't talk about it and want to block the whole thing out iykwim. x
     

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