Pushing Phobia!! - Sorry First Timers!

[fuffins1981]

I apologise to any first timers, as I do not want to scare anyone.

This is just me

When I had my son (nearly six years ago), I was in labour for approx 21.5 hours. The labour was very painful (as his back was to mine, so had labour pains in back and stomach)

However, coped very well with the pain. Was tiring, but if you soldier on, you get through it.

Pushing was a relief at the end. Was not pushing for too long. Was standing up to have him...So gravity was with me.

But, when it came to the head crowning she told me to stop pushing and I couldn't and I tore (sorry if TMI)....and it burnt like hell....Now I know why they call it 'the ring of fire'

So, I am petrified I will do the same again this time. It is the only thing I am scared of. The labour pains I can deal with and the stitches afterwards, I hardly felt. Just that 10 seconds in the whole thing has put the fear of God in me!

I just hope my bits are a little more 'elasticated' this time!

 

[nickilubs]

Awww that sounds like hell! I don't know coz this is my first but if you gotta push you gotta push and I expect that now your so scared of it that you will probley immediately stop when your midwife says to.

Oooo and by the way you said you were standing...I really want to stand for some reason it kinda looks slightly more comfortable to me! Was it okay or will you be sitting this time round?

 

[fuffins1981]

Hi gingercubes

I think I will buy some of the perineal (sp?) cream this time. I think women massage it onto the cervix area in the last few weeks.

I will defo be standing again. It was pure chance last time. As was in too much pain to lie down. So the midwife pumped the bed up to chest level for me to lean on. Then began pushing that way. Was great. Made pushing seem a lot easier that when I had imagined (other than my 10 seconds lol)

I think you are right though. I will make myself stop this time when they say to. I will make sure my body can stop itself. I will win!

 

[Sherlock]

My MW said to invest in some extra virgin olive oil for the perineal massage to help prevent tearing.

I also downloaded a PDF on how to massage what area correctly.

 

[DaisyRose]

Oh dear!!! I know EXACTLY what you're talking about - I was pushing for an hour but when the head crowned........OUCH, it was most definitely like being burn't!! I had 3rd degree tears in 3 places I think. Some women say having the stitches is worse but I was just glad to have the local to stop the pain!

My Mum said they cut her and that was worse. I don't think they do that often these days!!

Sherlock, I am going to try the olive oil, thanks for that.

Sorry all you first timers!!! If it's any consolation, I do know some women who have said it didn't hurt that much!

 

[Sherlock]

Sherlock, I am going to try the olive oil, thanks for that.

If you want the PDF or the section on how to massage etc drop me a PM and I can email it or copy paste it to you

 

[fuffins1981]

I am glad its not just me!lol

Will wait until I can stand the smell of olive oil and try it. And will get that .pdf file from you

I think I have let it grow out of all proportion in my head lol

My mom said she was cut with my brother and nearly hit the roof. I am so glad that is not done so much now

 

[maldives]

OMG
ring of fire! that sounds horrible . i am a first timer and now i am petrefied.
does it hurt if i do exactly what im told to do?
i've always wanted to know how it feels to have a head sliding down there and a ring of fire is more than i expected

 

[Sherlock]

OMG
ring of fire! that sounds horrible . i am a first timer and now i am petrefied.
does it hurt if i do exactly what im told to do?
i've always wanted to know how it feels to have a head sliding down there and a ring of fire is more than i expected

Thats the name its given. And who is to say if it will hurt you a great deal or not. I've seen lots of women describe it as a burning sensation when the head crowns. Its the largest part to push out so is bound to be felt.

If you follow some of the tips for preparing for labour you can help things along. You can ask your MW for tips and also at your ante natal classes.

Things like a perineal massage with some olive oil help prevent tearing, using a birthing ball to exercise on in the weeks before your baby is due and a few other things might all help.

 

[Miss.Monroe]

Sherlock, I am going to try the olive oil, thanks for that.

If you want the PDF or the section on how to massage etc drop me a PM and I can email it or copy paste it to you

sherlock im a first timer too, and any information you could send my way is greatly appreciated! id love to have a read of that PDF.

 

[fuffins1981]

OMG
ring of fire! that sounds horrible . i am a first timer and now i am petrefied.
does it hurt if i do exactly what im told to do?
i've always wanted to know how it feels to have a head sliding down there and a ring of fire is more than i expected

I am so sorry!

If I had prepared...Like oils and perineal massage and actually stopped when the midwife told me to, I am sure it would not have felt nearly as bad.
For so many women, it does not feature half as much for them. I think it was just me and my lack of preparation!

 

[Sherlock]

sherlock im a first timer too, and any information you could send my way is greatly appreciated! id love to have a read of that PDF.

Drop me a PM with your email addy and I can send it to you

 

[maybebaby]

When I had to stop pushing my midwife told me to pant, and concentrate on that to help me stop.

I actually found the pushing really satisfying, although I never had the 'ring of fire' because he came out in one go.

 

[DaisyRose]

I must admit, I didn't prepare much in that department. I can't really remember them telling me not to push - my contractions weren't as strong as they should have been at one point and all I could hear was 'push push push', and there was me thinking 'what do you think I'm doing you silly people!!!' I know one thing though, I couldn't stand up!!!

 

[Lindsay]

Aww fuffins hun I am the same. I gave birth to my son without any pain relief and coped well with the contractions. The pushing however is another thing entirley. I was lucky in that I only had to push 4 times and he was out but it was horrible, it really burnt. I said to my mum afterwards, 'why didn't you warn me it burnt like that'. I am really not looking forward to the pushing part either - but lets just tell ourselves it's the final part!! I am hoping that I don't tear as badly as I did this time too.

Xxx

 

[fuffins1981]

It is mad Lindsay, that that few seconds is what scares us about the experience that is labour lol

Maybe our bodies are a little more pliable this time...lol...It is the first time in my life I am wishing my muscles are not what they used to be!lol

Lol DaisyRosie....It is funny. You push with all your might and feel like you must not be doing so well, as they are telling you to push more lol

 

[fuffins1981]

When I had to stop pushing my midwife told me to pant, and concentrate on that to help me stop.

I actually found the pushing really satisfying, although I never had the 'ring of fire' because he came out in one go.

I am hoping that will be me this time!
Actually, i hope I have a few contractions and the baby almost falls out lol....Like on the way to the hospital....Aslong as I was not out shopping and am on the bus. Would hate to gross out fellow passengers lol

 

[Steelgoddess]

My poor Fanny

 

[fuffins1981]

My poor Fanny

Don't worry...It will be ok again afterwards

 

[Babylicious]

it's definately easier second time around. My labour was really fast and I did tear but it was because my labour was very fast.