Pregnant after miscarriage

Discussion in 'Pregnancy After Loss' started by Burbz090, Feb 8, 2022.

  1. Burbz090

    Burbz090 New Member

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    Hi everyone,

    This might be long winded but I haven’t been able to speak about this to any until now. My husband, despite being the most caring and loving man, doesn’t know what to say or how to listen when I’ve spoken about it.

    I’m 29 and I had a miscarriage back in early September 2020, it was a horrific experience. It was at one of heights of a Covid lockdown and it was hard to get any appointments with doctors. When I found out, a week later rang my doctor to tell them and see what I should do next. This was my first pregnancy, my doctor advised me to book my first scan which would be the following week. I was getting quite excited and rang straight after the call ended with my GP to book the scan. They set it all up for me but 10mins after I called, I started heavily bleeding. I had to call back and be told I was having a miscarriage. It broke me. But what broke me even more, is because of the restrictions, I couldn’t talk to anyone face-to-face, I had to call and my doctor just said “read a book, it’ll make you feel better”. After the lack of care I avoided speaking to anyone until I’d been heavily bleeding for a month. It’s the most blood I’ve ever seen. I rang the doctor and was told to wait. Then I had the most horrific pains, it felt like labour but I was early in my pregnancy, so I called the GP again. In November they booked me in to the early pregnancy unit. On the 30th Nov. they admitted me for two days, gave me a pill to help with the miscarriage, it didn’t work, so they brought me in two days later. Again the pill didn’t work, they left me for around 9hours still in pain, before finally doing a D&C. The next morning I was allowed to go home. The bleeding didn’t completely stop until Mid December.
    Now I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again, I’m terrified that 1.) I’m going to lose the pregnancy again and 2.) I’d have to endure the pain and mental stress all over again.

    So basically what I’m asking is, how did you cope with such a loss and experience?
    When can I feel excited?
    When should I call the doctor? Or should I call them straight away?
    Like I said this is my first pregnancy, I feel totally underprepared despite us trying for a baby. I’ve never had any female presence in my life. I feel lost and confused, not knowing where to start.

    Thank you for reading. I’d appreciate any advice or knowledge.
     
  2. Fsb676

    Fsb676 Well-Known Member

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    Oh…I am so sorry for your whole experience and heartbreak! <3 My mc story was traumatic…as they all are….but not to that extent. It is such a shame that you were not able to get some help. I think I would highly consider finding a new doctor/midwife office. So much congratulations on your new sweet little baby though! I don’t have much advice, but I have often wondered myself how I would feel if I fell pregnant again. I wasn’t naive enough to not know the chance of miscarriage with our first, but having gone through it is a whole different thing than knowing about it. I think it is ok to be cautious. I think I would try to tell myself to enjoy each moment I have, and let God take care of the rest. Please keep us updated on how you are doing! <3
     
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  3. PeanutButter

    PeanutButter Well-Known Member

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    Hey, sounds harsh but Drs and midwives do not care really until the second trimester and so many women mc early on.
    I've had 8mcs, only hospitalised for the second one as I was bleeding way to heavily but even then I had to sit and wait 2 hours before when being seen, then told me I wasn't allowed to eat and drink as i maybe rushed into surgery.
    The rest came out by themselves, and had to ttake the sac/fetus in to the hospital for them to examine.
    Anyway I finally got pregnant with my daughter and I never really got excited until my 4d scan where your saw her face and hands and that's what made it real.
    Just take it day by day. Nothing you do will change the outcome. That's the best advice j was given. Hope your get your rainbow :)
     
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  4. Burbz090

    Burbz090 New Member

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    :hug:
    Thank you so much for replying. I’m sorry to hear about your MC too. It really is a heartbreaking reality. I hope you too get the chance to experience a different outcome. <3I’ve spoken to a new doctor who was very reassuring and really took on board the worries. I’m an anxious person anyway so it’s just made the natural fear a little more intense. I’ve booked in with a midwife, I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant and I’ll be sure to update when I’ve had that (if we get to that). For now like you say I’m just going to try and enjoy the moments I do get. Take care and God bless. :hug:
     
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  5. Burbz090

    Burbz090 New Member

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    Thank you for your reply. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had to go through such horrible ordeal BUT I’m happy to hear you have your daughter. I do understand why they don’t really care too much, it is such a common thing and there’s really not a lot they can do.
    What will be will be I guess. I just hope if things do go wrong this time, it’ll be over a little quicker.
    Reading the part about your scan really did make me smile though. I hope we get there too. :angel:
     
  6. Fsb676

    Fsb676 Well-Known Member

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    Aww Thank you! <3 I’m so glad you got to talk to a new doctor! God bless you too! <3
     
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