Hi everyone, This might be long winded but I haven’t been able to speak about this to any until now. My husband, despite being the most caring and loving man, doesn’t know what to say or how to listen when I’ve spoken about it. I’m 29 and I had a miscarriage back in early September 2020, it was a horrific experience. It was at one of heights of a Covid lockdown and it was hard to get any appointments with doctors. When I found out, a week later rang my doctor to tell them and see what I should do next. This was my first pregnancy, my doctor advised me to book my first scan which would be the following week. I was getting quite excited and rang straight after the call ended with my GP to book the scan. They set it all up for me but 10mins after I called, I started heavily bleeding. I had to call back and be told I was having a miscarriage. It broke me. But what broke me even more, is because of the restrictions, I couldn’t talk to anyone face-to-face, I had to call and my doctor just said “read a book, it’ll make you feel better”. After the lack of care I avoided speaking to anyone until I’d been heavily bleeding for a month. It’s the most blood I’ve ever seen. I rang the doctor and was told to wait. Then I had the most horrific pains, it felt like labour but I was early in my pregnancy, so I called the GP again. In November they booked me in to the early pregnancy unit. On the 30th Nov. they admitted me for two days, gave me a pill to help with the miscarriage, it didn’t work, so they brought me in two days later. Again the pill didn’t work, they left me for around 9hours still in pain, before finally doing a D&C. The next morning I was allowed to go home. The bleeding didn’t completely stop until Mid December. Now I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again, I’m terrified that 1.) I’m going to lose the pregnancy again and 2.) I’d have to endure the pain and mental stress all over again. So basically what I’m asking is, how did you cope with such a loss and experience? When can I feel excited? When should I call the doctor? Or should I call them straight away? Like I said this is my first pregnancy, I feel totally underprepared despite us trying for a baby. I’ve never had any female presence in my life. I feel lost and confused, not knowing where to start. Thank you for reading. I’d appreciate any advice or knowledge.