Pregnancy & Sex

[JaneyJan]

Hi guys.
Wanted to find out if anyone else is having similar issues or experienced this in a previous pregnancy. I'm 12+4, and since extremely early in the pregnancy...(warning I am going to talk in a little detail)

a) I've gone from wanting and having sex regularly (at least twice a week) to not wanting it whatsoever
b) this might be because it HURTS. Everything down there feels very swollen, trying to have sex is like.. Even more painful than when I was a virgin, making it nigh on impossible to do the deed... Yes, even with loads of lube/foreplay. I just feel closed down there
c) everything down there is extremely sensitive. Usual soaps, bath mix, different types of lubricants that we've tried all end up burning, then the few times we've managed to have sex, I end up feeling like I'm burning ( I feel like from the friction? ) And it continues to burn for ages afterwards. A couple of times I've peed after sex and literally screamed and almost cried from the pain of it.
d) we've tried making various adjustments, but nothing seems to work.

On top of all this, when I've googled it people seem to think you might have an infection but I don't have any hallmark symptoms of an infection/thrush unless we're in Sex-Ville.

My OH is very understanding but obviously is struggling with this as we have always had a great sex life. I want my libido and body back too but I'm totally out of ideas. Somehow it feels easier to ask you ladies about this than speak to my midwife about it...I definitely wouldn't want to call her to speak about it but wait until my end of January appointment.

Anyone been through this/have any question wisdom to share?

 

[JemRose]

Hi JaneyJan

So I've been very similar to you, hardly ever wanting sex now but sometimes I do get rushes of feeling like I need it, but it quickly goes haha.

I also feel swollen as anything down there, think it's the increase of blood flow or something so I read. Not only that, and I wonder if it's to do with the cervix being closed now, but my partner also gets a bit sore during intercourse because he says it feels like something is blocking him. So for both of us it's getting painful even with lube etc.

I felt the same way as you for a little while with the sensitive and soreness etc, and I've only just come about with thrush symptoms, but really bad where I'm so sore I'm starting to bleed - so perhaps go to GP and get checked out maybe have a swab or something as I think maybe my thrush started inside and has come to the outside which is why it's causing trouble now, not sure.

One thing I have to say, is that besides the pain and soreness.. sex is fantastic for me and I think that's because it's much more sensitive and therefore more intense, if I can look past the pain and soreness haha. I'm refraining for a little while until everything clears up (plus been ill) - maybe just satisfy your husband in another way if you're worried about him struggling (I'm the same with my OH and he's fine with something else rather than sex)

Hope this has been a little helpful at least xx

 

[JaneyJan]

Aw thanks JemRose.... Yes we've been doing other things but both miss Sex sex... How long did you feel all sensitive until the thrush arrived? I've been feeling like this since a couple days before my BFP arrived so a good 2 months! Kept thinking maybe it was the start of thrush at the beginning.... It sounds rough for you with the bleeding. When I have had thrush once or twice in the past, the canesten pessary has always sorted me out within a day or so... Have you tried it?

As for my partner he doesn't get sore but does say he feels like everything is super tight down there, I've tried to grin and bear it a couple of times but bless him he's able to tell that I'm in so much pain and I've just had to stop proceedings a couple of times. He's been reading a little book for men about pregnancy so he's convinced it will all change in the second trimester (in the next few days?!) And I don't want to burst his bubble but i kind of doubt it.

Also in the last few weeks I've had a couple of moments where I've also been super super in the mood but like you it hasn't lasted long. Typically because we then try to do it, any I'm like woah that hurts so bad.

 

[JemRose]

Yeah I used the pessary last night so fingers crossed it starts working.

Ah I felt like it for ages, but no idea how long for. Hope it all gets better though, for the both of us haha x

 

[Shanivy]

Does sound like thrush hun. Or could be bv? I didn't think I had thrush at all in my first pregnancy until we tried
having sex and all of a sudden I was like wtf?! Pregnancy can make everything more swollen but at your stage I'd maybe get a check anyway. I was about 20 weeks when it started with dd? And it's actually like having sex with a razor blade.

Especially since for me sex normally is actually better pregnant. We have had sex this time and it wasn't sore at all. We've stopped when I started bleeding so it's off the cards for a bit now. Xx

 

[JaneyJan]

Sorry guys I didn't see these replies - Well, after putting it off for even longer, we tried dtd one more time last week, had a quickie (cuz that's all I can manage) but I was in pain for the next 24 hours (yes, totally like having sex with a knife), and it was horrible - called the midwife - she wanted me to see the GP straightaway to get some swabs done - I read about BV and was worried about it. I didn't actually have thrush symptoms though.
Anyway, I went to the doctor yesterday, she tested my urine and said it seems positive for an infection, and also examined me down below to make sure cervix etc was all ok - and took samples there too - seems I probably have a mixed infection. I'm kind of relieved to know it's treatable. I've been joking my way through the entire thing - but when the midwife told me to go see the doctor I burst into tears and ended up sobbing for 2 hours..and realised it's probably been bothering me more than even I've admitted to myself.

Waiting for lab results on Thursday then the doctor's going to prescribe me the necessary antibiotics. I am so relieved because I've been feeling as though my sex life is just over. My poor husband as well. Thanks guys for the advice.

 

[JemRose]

Aw bless you JaneyJan. I'm glad doctors are looking into for you and it will be sorted so don't panic

xx

 

[Shanivy]

JaneyJan thought it did sound like one or both. Don't stress over it, it's so so common for pregnant women and so treatable. The joys of pregnancy honestly xx

 

[CMcDx]

How did u get on?

 

[babystart]

It's best to consult a doctor

 

[JaneyJan]

It all came back clear -other than thrush. Waiting a prescription. I haven't tried having sex yet in the meantime obviously. Hopefully it all clears up.

 

[CMcDx]

I was going through the same and had said to my midwife. Was agony for me to do anything. Thrush cam back neg. So was hoping to see what your outcome was. Asked for another thrush test cos I was sure that's all it is. Got it and came back positive so I'm relieved!!