Pregnancy hormones and testing toddlers....

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by Minxy, Feb 4, 2009.

  1. Minxy

    Minxy Well-Known Member

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    I've really shouted at Stanley today and feel bad.

    I *needed* to have a little doze on the settee before (Stanley refused a nap) and whilst my eye was off the ball he emptied my CD cabinet and drew on everythng (TV, floor, coffee table) in permanent red marker.

    He's not naughty as a rule, but he is bored. He's housebound with a nasty chest infection and just starting to feel brighter. But I snapped, cause I was tired, and completely bawled at him. I try not to shout and he got so upset.

    It caused another coughing fit and he sobbed himself to sleep on the sofa.

    I feel like such an awful mum but at times I'm really struggling with my temper/mood. I know OH can take it but Stanley must wonder who this Jeckel/Hyde woman is. Anyone else being mean to their kids or is it just me? :(
     
  2. KikoDinoGirl

    KikoDinoGirl Well-Known Member

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    I have no kids but just wanted to give a general :hug:
     
  3. Shinymac

    Shinymac Well-Known Member

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    Oh Minxy :hug: ! I've definitely been much more shouty at my two. I get angry over silly things as I am more stressed, and I end up feeling so terrible about it! So you're not alone... and I'm sure it's perfectly normal.
     
  4. Serendipity_

    Serendipity_ Well-Known Member

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    I don't have any kids other than the one inside me, so I don't know how you feel. I have however just had a go at the dog who decided to empty the bin for me and she is now hiding in the corner. :oops:
     
  5. valentine

    valentine Well-Known Member

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    I've not really lost it so far but watch this space.

    DD has been hard work recently and I can feel myself simmering away.

    I think being pregnant and having a toddler is one of the hardest things I've ever done.

    Don't worry Minxy, you didn't mean it. Give him a big cuddle when he wakes up (at least you can have your sleep now!) and he'll forget about it, he's still so young.

    Valentine Xxx
     
  6. Mama 2 Be

    Mama 2 Be Well-Known Member

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    I don't have children (yet) apart from Papa 2 Be who gets a good shouting every now and then but I wanted to give you these :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I was only imagining the other day what it must be like for you gals with babies/toddlers already and I decided you are superheros :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  7. Chopsie

    Chopsie Well-Known Member

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    Totally agree - I have a friend who had her second child when her daughter was 26 months. I always thought she was some kind of superhuman supermum to hold it together, and now I KNOW she is! I can barely cope with other adults at the moment!

    It's understandable that you'll reach the end of your tether every now and then, but you're still a fab mummy. Have lots of these :hug:
     
  8. M&Ms

    M&Ms Well-Known Member

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    Must be the weather causing bad toddler behaviour. I left Marcus in his playpen whilst I had a nap. It's the barred sort and he has worked out that if he shakes it hard enough he can get it to move on the laminate flooring. He proceeded to empty one of my tallboy drawers all over the pen and the floor :evil:

    He's been ill with a sicky bug this week and seems to be over it now, so is making up for lost time I think. :roll:

    Sending you some hugs cos god knows I could do with some myself at the moment :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  9. SoonToBeMrs

    SoonToBeMrs Well-Known Member

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    Aww Minxy I'm sorry to hear you've had a bit of a bad day.. I did the exact same thing the other day.. I had a really busy day and was looking forward to getting my LO into bed and relaxing with a cuppa.. but things didn't go as planned, and he played up a little.. saying he was hungry.. and generally being awkward. I shouted at him and he started genuinely crying, I felt so guilty..

    ..I sat down stairs for a while with my tea and tried to relax but I felt so guilty.. I put my tea down and went back upstairs. My LO was still sobbing. I cuddled him and told him I was sorry and that I didnt mean to snap at him but I was tired and I shouldn't have done it. He put his arms around me and said he was sorry for not doing as he was told and we made up, had a little giggle about something or other.. and everything was forgotten.

    Explaining to him why I did it and saying I was sorry really helped. I knew that it helped my LO understand a bit more and it stopped him from being so upset about it.

    I know your LO is younger than mine, but cuddles will help. Try not to feel too much guilt about it, these things happen.. we all do it. We cant always be perfect and as long as its not extreme (smacking/hitting etc) it's perfectly normal to have these kinds of days every now and then.

    Relax hun, sounds like you could do with putting your feet up! Next time, try walking out of the room and counting to 10 before going back and dealing with it. Sounds silly, but taking a little bit of time-out can really help when you feel you may lose your temper.

    Sorry about the long post.. I didn't anticipate such a long-winded explanation.. just wanted to let you know I've been there and try and give you a little support.

    :hug:
     
  10. Tiny Sue

    Tiny Sue Well-Known Member

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    Hi Minxy - gosh, your coffee table and your TV, permanent red marker, you say?

    I think I would have shouted too! How old is Stanley? I caught Naomi scribbling on the french windows (wall was next) with a black marker the other day and she had a small smack on the back of the hand and a 2 minute stay in the corner (in extreme disgrace). I felt bad too.

    But, honey, sometimes you have to take the firmer hand with small children or they will walk all over you.

    Don't beat yourself up about being cross. It was a potentially very costly thing for the LO to do, and while you don't place more importance on the furnishings than you do on LO, it will be mighty hard to replace a ruined TV because of a naughty moment on his part!

    And as all the other ladies have said, you know you love Stanley. I love Naomi, as we all love our children. It would actually be showing a lack of care or even neglect if we didn't define the boundaries and didn't show them every now and then when they have actually done something wrong. You wouldn't be doing him any good at all if he never saw you get angry, hun.

    :hug: :hug: :hug:

    Sue
     
  11. rusks

    rusks Well-Known Member

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    aww hun i really feel for you and you are not a bad mother what so ever, that was a particularly naughty thing for the lil bugger to do i think i would have definitely have lost it too. :wink:

    the wanderful thing is he will forget it tomorrow and all will be forgiven so don't let it get to you. i have been on a shorter fuse from these hormones too and its hard to bite your tongue sometimes. the long and the short of it is you are his mummy you love him and he loves you... and if hes naughty, bored or not he must know it is wrong also. :hug:
     
  12. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    I know just how you're feeling Minxy, Maddison has been quite hard work recently and its taken a lot for me to not go crazy at her when she hits me or bangs her head off the floor in a tantrum because she isnt getting her own way. She empties my DVDs out onto the floor, smothers my settee, coffee table, etc in Sudocream and takes books out of the bookcase and removes pages from them, I could cry sometimes :( I had my GTT this morning and it made me feel very weak and queasy and all I wanted to do was go to sleep for a bit but Maddison had other plans for me, its really hard :hug: :hug:
     
  13. rhian85

    rhian85 Well-Known Member

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    i know exactly how u feel hun :( i too have had times where i cant keep my eyes open around 2pm and have fallen asleep opened my eyes to crayon on the tv/walls jig-saw/mega blocks posted through the letter box, drink spilled al over the laminate and even found dvds in the frezzer :shock: :shock: :shock:

    other times as soon as i sit down he wants something or wants a dvd on so i struggle to get up :wall: :wall: :wall: then we have tantrums ohh god thats hard work
    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  14. angelcake89

    angelcake89 Well-Known Member

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    #14 angelcake89, Feb 4, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2009
  15. Sweetpea134

    Sweetpea134 Well-Known Member

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    I know how you girls feel my lil boy is just so much of a handfull and he just pushes me with his mouth or dont do as his told and thats not like him usually only have to tell him once or twice but its now like 5 or 6 times and he still dont listen when his asleep and iv shouted at him i do end up in tears sometimes and say to myself that im gonna be more calmer tomorrow but that never happens......he evan told me he wished he lived with Granny and that makes me feel awful :(
     
  16. newmum

    newmum Well-Known Member

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    I don't know how you girls handle being pregnant and having a toddler. Respect :) I'm not pregnant but mine is driving me mad with things at the moment. When I am tired, haven't eaten, end of the day or just trying to get something done I nearly 'snap' inside when she seems to push me on purpose. Think I might have to get her surgically removed from my leg...
    :hug: :hug: :hug: for all of you.
     
  17. Tasha20

    Tasha20 Well-Known Member

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    :hug:

    I know exactly how you feel, its been the same our end!

    Oli seems to be at a very testing stage aswell and enjoys screaming all day :D

    As much as I do this :wall: and this :cry: and this with her :evil: oh and this one :shhh:

    We always make up, we give each other lovely cuddles on the evening and sit and sing songs before she goes to sleep :)

    I have lost my temper with her more than I can count unfortunatly, and it is very upsetting. More for me I think as she doesn;t take a blind bit of notice half the time :lol:

    Its very hard and i agree with Valentine, its the hardest thing I have every done being pregnant and having a toddler.


    Your not alone! :hug:
     
  18. Minxy

    Minxy Well-Known Member

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    Thankyou so much for your lovely responses, it's enough to make me cry again (damn hormones)

    It's nice to know I'm not alone. And the pen did come off, thank goodness :)
     
  19. bizzygirl101

    bizzygirl101 Well-Known Member

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    oh yes i have been very mean to my boy and OH! OH said that i was speaking to them both like sh*te and had better sort it out, even more frustrating is that DS doesnt seem fazed by anything i do when he is naughty! It drives me mad!

    His latest is to blow his food out like bubbles half way through grrrrrr, he just laughs when i tell him off, i have to leave the room!!!
     
  20. Jaidy

    Jaidy Well-Known Member

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    Hey Minxy, only just seen this :wall: time being taken up with toddler that its hard to get on here sometimes!!!

    Your soooooo not alone, Zachary gets told off sometimes and I feel so bad, feel like I should be more patient and that its not really his fault as he is young and 'learning' but man, its just such hard work being pregnant and trying to hold down a part time job, and cook, clean and run around after him and hubby.

    I think we all deserve a pat on the back for how well we are doing really, we are all fantastic mums, we just all have a hard time sometimes. :hug: :hug: :hug:
     

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