Pregnancy and Uni

[Princess156]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site.
Just looking for a bit of advice really - someone who might understand what I'm going through.

I'm 20, 5 weeks pregnant and start university in 2 weeks.
I've always been against abortion once the baby's heart starts beating - little did I know it'll start very soon.
I'm terrified of the situation I'm in and can't seem to make a decision, I always thought that if an unplanned pregnancy happened I'd be able to deal with it - the plan has always been uni first.
However now that I am expecting I feel completely different about the whole situation but my bf still doesn't want this baby.
I don't blame him for the way he's feeling - he's only 22 himself and in full time education. Also, we haven't been together very long and we're both scared of putting too much strain on ourselves.

Any advice would be wonderful - I do want this baby now that I know he/she is there, but I don't want to hurt anyone.

 

[flexilexi394]

Hello! Well first off, I feel for you. Must be a toughie choice as you have university to think of. I'm sure a girl
on here called melio is or was in similar situation. When would bevy be due? Then you could work out whether you could have baby and study. Not too sure how doable that is though! Or ask for advice from the uni itself, they probably have some form of cousillor! My baby wasn't planned at all, so know the big scary feeling of not knowing what to do, and I decided pretty quickly that an abortion wasn't really an option, I have a lot of outgoing but work full time, we all manage! There will be a logical way for you even if it isn't obvious now. You'll be fine no matter what you choose x

 

[AugustMum]

I am/was in a similar situation (kudos to flexilexi for remembering!)

I was in my second year of uni, and found out I was pregnant in the november. FOB didnt want the baby but like yourself I just couldnt not go through with the pregnancy once I knew babys heart was beating. I made a choice to carry on with uni and have the baby, and told FOB that it was my choice and he could be as involved as he liked. Studying and being pregnant is hard, Im not going to lie lol, but totally worth it. Now LO is 2 weeks old and today Ive just enrolled back for my third year starting at the end of September From what I can gather, youd be due around the end of the school year and youd be surprised how understanding your tutors will be, so you can easily just carry on with uni! I say go for it, and when you get your degree, itll mean so much more to you with a LO. Good luck!

 

[Princess156]

Thank-you. Well I have spoken to the university and they want me to defer for a year but that just isn't an option for me, I've worked so hard for two years to get to this point. And being a five year degree I'm not wasting any more time.

Baby's due 21st April, which is a few weeks before exam time. Luckily my mum has been very supportive and has offered to do whatever it takes to help me through uni. Then ofcourse I'd have all summer with the little one before going back.

I think I'm pretty set in my ways about this - ofcourse still sared senseless!
My biggest worry right now is my OH, he's just not been himself since we found out - he just doesn't seem to be coping with this at all. He has been amazing though, puttin me first, making sure I'm okay... still not his usual happy self and it worries me.
I know at the end of the day this is my decision but it hard to see someone you love like this.

Has anyone else had a partner who wasn't so keen?

 

[flexilexi394]

My partner isn't so keen at all! He's just started his own business and was like how am I goin to support a baby? So I've done my best to not panic him, I've not asked for any money because I know as soon as I do he will be like "we can't afford it" so I've joined loads of parenting clubs like tesco boots etc, got vouchers for everything, and managed to pick up some real bargains! It is doable, and now my partner is slowly getting excited. I think my 20 week scan will be interesting for him as we can find out what the sex is. He has it in his mind that we have ages away until baby is born, where truth is we are nearly half way through the pregnancy so he's going to have a shock at Christmas. Lol. He will probably come round to the idea, it just takes time. And butter him up a little bit with not paniking him and make sure he knows you have thoroughly thought this through and it is doable. X

 

[lealea85]

my friend who is a single parent managed to go thru her law degree and with child.
got the first year out the way, when she was too heavy to go uni, her lecturer was supportive. most universities are.
u can also get help with finances for childcare when u go back. if need be, after u have had baby u can deffer u sept start next year and start n sem b.

if u need any help let me know.
ive defferred my entry at uni as im now on my 2nd degree in psychology n criminology.

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Im in a very similar situation to you i became pregnant during 1st year and am now deferring a year and then going back because abortion wasn't an option for me. The babys daddy and i have since broken up and he wants nothing to do with the baby. I also know someone who was in the exact same situation as you however she was 20 weeks and after her parents reaction (her dad's abusive) she decided to abort and go away to uni.
I can tell you now it's going to be soo hard at uni all your friends will be going out partying and getting drunk which you won't be able to do, yes you can go out but especially in your first week all you will see is people who are completely wasted. It will also be the best time of your life.
I decided that uni wasnt as important as my baby, but you're quite lucky as the babys due when you will still be in lectures or in a revision period as my uni started begining of May.
I wish you the best of luck in your pregnancy and i really think you are amazingly brave going to uni and i wish you all the luck in the world if you need to talk pm me
Take care

 

[Crimson92]

Im starting college in a few days and im 5 weeks now, most of these places think if you really cant cope can let you do it from home and just come in for your exam, so i think you could manage just fine as long as your parents support you x

 

[lucylu87]

Hi all, I left uni from my undergraduate degree two years ago and have had a full time job since then but I was due to go back to uni to start a 2 year masters this september. I have decided to defer my entry to sept 2011 as my baby is due in december.This was definitely the right decision for me... Im just worried about affording it all as well as my house and baby. But I know there is loads of help out there for students with children. Im just hoping that all the money I have managed to save up these last 2 years will help with both student costs and baby costs. Basically, what Im trying to say is that (hopefully) doing both is manageable ! so just go for it cos its all gonna mean a better future in the end for you and ur baby.

 

[JJ Mum]

Congratulations and I say go for it, if you want something enougth, you will always find a way, and with your mum on board , who knows what you will achieve, and have a lovely little bundle too X

I sooo regret never havign gone to ~uni, and I will be doing a degree in creative writing someday very soon...

But I did push myself and with 3 small kids in tow, in 2006, 2007 and 2008 got myself a place on the senior england womens ice hockey team for two years and south england for 3 years, and won a pride of local sports award for my achievement too boot, presented by two eastender stars. appeared on tely twice and been interviewed for radio by maggie philbin etc (I am 37 now!, and most of the team were fit 18 year olds!)

you can do anything you want to if you just take that leap....

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Totally agree with you all..... Anything is achievable if you really want it and are determined to get there! There is lots of support systems out there and with the help of your mam Im sure you will be very successfull in whatever you study as well as being a fantastic role model for your baby!

Good luck and I really hope you get to Uni xxx

 

[Princess156]

Hey guys.
Thanks so much for all your replies. As you can see by my pic - I've come to my decision - thats 'Stumpy' right there
Still going to uni though, it's all planned out.
Im due on the exact same day as you Kole
Hope everyone's well and thanks again xx