I had a great labour of exactly the type your obstetrician is recommending.
I had a home birth, but only because my house is nearer to the hospital than the local birthing unit, in every other way it would have been the same at the birthing unit.
I started about 10am with mild period pains. I didn't think it was labour, but because they were regular I timed them and they started every 5 minutes. I happened to be going to a meeting and my midwife was there, so by the end of the meeting they were every 4 minutes and I asked her did she think it was labour? She said she thought it was and to call her later.
Throughout the afternoon the pains got stronger, but nothing I couldn't cope with. I had my family at the house getting the pool ready and was chatting and laughing with them.
At 6 pm the midwife came, she checked me and I was 2cm. She helped me set up a tens machine and went away. The tens was useful - it distracted me and I definitely noticed when I forgot to turn it up. We watched celebrity master chef. By the end my contractions were coming almost on top of each other. This was the worst part for me, I knew as a first time mum that going from 2 to 10 cm was likely to take 8 hours or more, but this was less than 3 hours later and it was getting intense. I called the midwife who agreed to come back.
When she came back, she didn't want to check me as I was only likely to be a couple of cms further on, so to help with the contractions, I got into the pool and she gave me gas and air. I loved gas and air, it made me feel relaxed and spaced out. After half an hour I felt a strong urge to push. The midwife agreed to check me, more to reassure me that it wasn't time to push and was amazed to find I was fully dilated. I had gone from 2cm to 10cm in less than 4 hours.
A second midwife came and after pushing, J was born. I had a small tear that didn't need stitches.
Looking back, I had a great labour. I had the water birth without strong drugs that I had been planning and it was very quick. I would have coped just fine with the intense part of the labour had I known I was actually in transition at that point. For me, it was just the fear that there was worse to come, whereas actually that was as bad as it was going to get.
During my pregnancy I did a natal hypnotherapy course. While it all went out of the window during labour, it was really good for keeping me chilled during my pregnancy and I had no concerns about the impending birth.
I would definitely recommend natal hypnotherapy for you, and to actually attend a course if you can rather than just using the cds. Our therapist discussed our own fears during the session and actually wrote a specific hypnotherapy wording that worked on those fears. The positive visualisation of the birth in the hypnotherapy is great too.
From my own experiences (not childbirth related), fear is definitely worse than pain. You don't actually say if it's the pain you are worried about, but if you can find a way to relieve the fear (hypno, counselling, threads like this) then hopefully you will feel better.
The other thing that helped me immensely and may be something your obstetrician can help with, was having continuity of care. I found a midwife I trusted and saw her for all my later antenatal appointments and then she came out to my birth. I know I was very lucky to get this, but perhaps in your special circumstances they could find a midwife prepared to make that commitment.
If you want any furthe info about the hypno, please ask.
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