pnd feel like i am going mad

[lucyk]

Hi, my name is Lucy.

I have a 5 month old baby girl called Jessica and a 4 year old son. Iwas told i had PND when Jessica was 1 month old since then it has gone down hill. I feel like i have turned into an evil person. I constantly have bad thoughts. I am trying my hardest to carry on but i don't know how much more i can take. When i look in the mirror there is no connection with the peron staring back at me. Am i going insane? I just don't know what to do anymore and i am so scared!!!!!

 

[LucyBee]

Hi Lucy,
I have PND too. Have you seen your doctor or spoken to your HV? Does anyone know how you feel???
Lucyx

 

[Snuggle]

Lucy, I have PND too, infact there are many of us on here who are going through the same thing so plenty of people to offer advice and support. Are you on anti-depressants or receiving counselling?

 

[Dinski]

From a fellow PND sufferer, I can tell you this; It is not you. PND is an illness and you must not blame yourself. Please try and get some help as you do not get extra points for being a martyr and suffereing unnecessarily. Your GP or HV should be able to help you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and PND is extremely common and treatable. However helpless you feel, you are not alone and you will feel better, you must cling on to that thought!

Best wishes

 

[lucyk]

I am on anti-depressants. I have felt out of my own body for months and they know that. I see a cbt on a tuesday but she is not that much help. I love my children to bits but i don't know how much more i can take. One minute i am bearable the next i feel like there is no point anymore. Has anyone else ever felt this bad? Is it PND or am i actually losing the plot?

 

[LucyBee]

Sounds like classic PND to me.
Can you see your GP again and see if you can get your anti-depressants increased, even if it's just for a short time until you've got your head above water again?

A few of us on here (me included) have been referred to a PND support group where you can meet other girls who feel the same way. I've found it really, really helpful.

Poor you. PND is awful. It feels never-ending but you WILL get better. Sounds like you need some help quickly though. Can you call your doctor tomorrow?

Lucyx

 

[mum2A&L]

A few of us on here (me included) have been referred to a PND support group where you can meet other girls who feel the same way. I've found it really, really helpful.

i was referred to one of these groups and i found it so helpful! the group i went to was every monday, and they even had a handful of local HV's come in and look after the babies so we could all sit and talk.


i agree with lucy, try and get yourself back to your docs or to your HV for a chat. they are there to help!


take care

 

[lucyk]

I was told it is depersonalisation and the less i worry about it the quicker it will go. It is so hard tho because every time i look in the mirror i don't look like me. Anyone felt this or feeling this? Any tips or advice?

Lucy x

 

[NooNoo]

you sound just like me...i have no advice..am in need of some myslef

 

[Dinski]

I am on anti-depressants. I have felt out of my own body for months and they know that. I see a cbt on a tuesday but she is not that much help. I love my children to bits but i don't know how much more i can take. One minute i am bearable the next i feel like there is no point anymore. Has anyone else ever felt this bad? Is it PND or am i actually losing the plot?

Hi hon, I felt like this most days when I was at my worst. It IS classic PND. There are loads of anti-depressants out there and some work better than others. If one is not working for you perhaps you should try another? I have tried quite a few over the years for depression and I know that some have made me feel worse while others have really helped.

One of the things that made my PND worse and probably brought it on in the first place was the lack of sleep and the disruption to my body clock. I find that when I get a full good 7 hours of sleep I feel much better. You know they use sleep deprivation as a torture method so if you are sleeping badly this could be exacerbating your PND.

Did you have PND after your first child?

 

[LucyBee]

I think (?) depersonalisation is an anxiety disorder. Acute anxiety was one of my major PND symptoms. A lot of the anti-depressants they use to treat PND are very good for anxiety. Perhaps you need to increase your dosage?

I agree with Dinski about the lack of sleep. I think it may have brought on my PND too. Can you get your OH or someone to have the baby for the night so you can get some sleep? If you can, go in to another room and put some earplugs in. Sounds drastic but it's about self-preservation. If you're breast-feeding, you could get OH to bring in the baby for feeding and then take him off again to settle while you go back to sleep?

I'm not saying it will cure your PND but a couple of nights of unbroken sleep could help you get your head above water.

 

[lucyk]

When i feel really bad i seem to convince myself i am going mad. One minute i can feel like i can cope the next i am crying saying i cant cope. I hope it gets better soon. Does anyone know how long depersonalisation lasts for?

 

[Dinski]

When i feel really bad i seem to convince myself i am going mad. One minute i can feel like i can cope the next i am crying saying i cant cope. I hope it gets better soon. Does anyone know how long depersonalisation lasts for?

With me, I started to feel more grounded once my anti-d's kicked in. Before that I felt like I was seeing the world through a stranger's eyes. All the things I see everyday seemed different and alien. I also felt very trapped in my own mind. My anti-d's took about 3 weeks to properly kick in and now I feel more or less normal again. I get a lot of help from my OH who is a fantastic hubby and daddy

 

[lucyk]

I have had anti-d's for 6 weeks but i still feel out of my own body. Some days i feel like i can cope but out of my body and other days i cant even have a proper conversation with anyone.

 

[LucyBee]

You need to go back to your doctor asap and tell him/her that.
Like Dinski, my anti-depressants took about 3 weeks to work. The anxiety went first before the depression.
It sounds like you need your dosage increased. It doesn't have to be a long-term thing. You can reduce them back down when you are feeling better.

 

[lucyk]

I am on 75mg amitritaline 3 weeks at 50mg and 3 weeks at 25mg. Should it be working by now?

 

[Moomum]

I have no advice for you but sincerely hope that you start to feel better soon

 

[lucyk]

Been to a and e last night because i felt so bad. They are sending someone to see me at home today. I told them everything i think and feel hopefully i will get the right help this time.

 

[trixipaws]

i hope u get the help u need and feel better soon x

 

[Snuggle]

I'm glad someone is coming to see you, I hope you feel better soon