Think I am going mad?

[K X]

Hi all, hope everyone is well. I haven't been on as much as finding motherhood very hectic.

I have a problem that seems to be over ruling my enjoyment of motherhood. I keep thinking that I am going to lose Rebecca to cot death, I can't switch off at night, and I wont let anyone look after her. It has become a bit of an obsession (if that's the right word). I have become so paranoid, I can't sleep and when she sleeps I keep going over and touching her to make sure she is still breathing. My OH lost his cousin to cot death, he was 7 months old! I couldn't cope with that. And yesterday in the Metro there was a story about a man who lost his daughter to cot death at 10 month old! I thought you were out the danger period at 6 months!

Anyhow I have spoke to my Health Visitor about it and she seems to think that I have Post Natal Depression, which I don't think I have, and told me to book an appointment with my doctor. I do everything I can to prevent it, no one who smokes does it in front of her, I don't wrap her up to much, she is always foot to bottom of moses basket etc. But it scares me that it's outwith my control.

I have had a lot of loss in my life and think that it's partly to blame, and nearly losing my mum (who means the world to me) to cancer last year.

I am constantly upset, and feel so alone, I wish I could me like normal mums and enjoy every moment, but I feel I am living on tender hooks waiting for something bad to happen.

Sorry it's so long, but no one understands how I feel.

 

[Yvonne]

Hey Hun,

If you are upset alot and a bit on edge i would speak to your doctor just incase it is PND.

I understand your worries about cot death and you are doing all that is recommended to stop it happening.
Try and enjoy your little one growing up.

This might sound a little wrong and i hope it doesn't upset or anger you, but if it is going to happen it will.
(i'm sorry i don't know how else to word it)

My best friends little sister died of cot death, she was lay in her cot with a thin sheet on her- that was it and it still happened
It's harsh, cot death especially when it just happens and no one knows why

Keep your chin up hun, try and think positive

 

[beanie]

Will pm you x

 

[Tiny Sue]

Hey hun -

Having an axiety disorder myself, I know how you feel. If I were you, I would go get talking to a therapist. I suffer from obsessive thoughts too and when you are tired and low, it contributes to your not being able to stave these thoughts off. Some days can be really bad.

You say you have had a lot of loss in your life, and that your mum was very ill recently. It's possible that with the loss, with the shock of your mum's illness and the birth of your baby, you are slightly post traumatic. All these things contribute, and you sound like you're suffering a lot of the same things that I used to suffer from, and still do on bad days.

*HUG* sorry if I seem to have come out of the blue and put you in a box...it's just that what you are going through sounds so like what I have been through in the last few years.

PM me if you want to talk...

Sue

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I hope you figure out why your doing this it is normal to worry to an extent but try andrelax our babies will grow up very fast.
I would go see a doc in case it is pnd.
Wish you the best
xxx Katrina

 

[futuremum]

Why don't you buy a monitor that tracks mouvement too . I bought the tommy tippee reassurance 8 monitor

http://www.reviewcentre.com/reviews13553.html

and not only you have the normal monitor but another one you put undernetah the mattress and will alert you if the baby does not move for 20 seconds including breathing. I find this reassuring at night as he does not sleep in our room.

hope this helped a bit

 

[hels]

Hi hun....i agree, the monitors are great, we have a Johnsons one. It makes me much more relaxed.
Well worth the money x

 

[K X]

Beanie thanx for your PM, I will replt 2nite-on way out in a mo.

Ladies thanks for your help. I am going to goand invest in the monitors. My problem is though-she sleeps in a moses baskest right beside my side of the bed, and she is outgrown it coz she is a hef, and I need to buy the cot this weekend, and I am terrified of putting her in it. I know cot death doesn't just happen in a cot, but it's the whole stigma attached to them.

My mum goes mad at me as I sleep with the lamp on all night so I can see her breathe and move, but mum says that aint doing Rebecca any favours as she needs to get used to the dark!

I have an appointment with Dr's on Tuesday, it has got a hold of me big time this fear of losing her.

Anyway, hope you and babies are all well.xxx

 

I have a monitor for Damien as he stops beathing on occasions and forgets to start again, this monitor alarms if no breathing is noticed for 20 seconds, has a parent monitor and I would say is VERY worth £100 I paid for it. Never had a false alarm (although can happen if baby moves off the mat which Damien has done and set it off).

It is very natural to worry about it. My friend lost her baby to cot death and it has terrified me even before Damien had apnoea attacks.

Hope that helps hunnie. Take care xxx

 

[futuremum]

I have the "older" version of this one Sami whcich you can find in TK maxx for 60 pounds instead of a 100. It is very good. I never had a false alarm either and i even put it underneth the moses basket too when Thomas has stopped breathing twice because of his nose... I have to say that looking at the green bleeping light showing there is mouvement is reassuring, especially when not near Thomas.

So maybe you can start putting it under the mattress and sleep in the room in the dark to start with and then slowly you leave the room. I understand your fear, but the H/V told me even adult can dies of cot death but they do not call this cot death for this because we are too big lol So yes if it has to happen it will happen and it can happen at any time in your child/ teenage/adult life. The monitor will help you relax a bit and hopefully you will be able to sleep a bit better.