Hi all, hope everyone is well. I haven't been on as much as finding motherhood very hectic. I have a problem that seems to be over ruling my enjoyment of motherhood. I keep thinking that I am going to lose Rebecca to cot death, I can't switch off at night, and I wont let anyone look after her. It has become a bit of an obsession (if that's the right word). I have become so paranoid, I can't sleep and when she sleeps I keep going over and touching her to make sure she is still breathing. My OH lost his cousin to cot death, he was 7 months old! I couldn't cope with that. And yesterday in the Metro there was a story about a man who lost his daughter to cot death at 10 month old! I thought you were out the danger period at 6 months! Anyhow I have spoke to my Health Visitor about it and she seems to think that I have Post Natal Depression, which I don't think I have, and told me to book an appointment with my doctor. I do everything I can to prevent it, no one who smokes does it in front of her, I don't wrap her up to much, she is always foot to bottom of moses basket etc. But it scares me that it's outwith my control. I have had a lot of loss in my life and think that it's partly to blame, and nearly losing my mum (who means the world to me) to cancer last year. I am constantly upset, and feel so alone, I wish I could me like normal mums and enjoy every moment, but I feel I am living on tender hooks waiting for something bad to happen. Sorry it's so long, but no one understands how I feel.