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PND and TTC

Maximus17

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We are trying for our second child but I have struggled with depression since she was born which was over 4 years ago! I am still having strong episodes of OCD sometimes and I am really worried about it if it even becomes worse next time. I even thought maybe we shouldn’t have another becaus of this but I don’t want this to stop me. Like last night I had this really disturbing dream about my child. I think it’s called intrusive thoughts and it made me sooooo upset all day. I feel so alone in this and I can never ever tell anyone even my husband. Anyone struggled or struggling with intrusive thoughts since having a child? If so does this stop you from trying again?
 
I have no experience of this myself but just wanted to say so sorry you are experiencing this. It sounds awful not being able to talk about it. You could always ask your GP if there are any counselling services available. It might be good to get support.
 
Hiya I had CBT for it when she was a baby. I am managing but sometimes it’s flaring up. I think mostly when I am tired. I just want thoughts to stop
 
Hi maximus. So sorry to hear youve been struggling with depression. I think PND is more common that we think. I had intrusive, very upsetting thoughts about both my DS and DD (12 and 10 yrs now). I ended up talking through them with my DH and i was terrified he would judge me. He was extremely supportive and said it was very normal to have these thought (he's a doctor) but no one really talks about them for the reasons we both had for keeping quiet. Once i had spoken to him they really reduced and dissappeared fairly quickly. I recommend you talking to someone close to you about them....it could help. Youre not alone...i do think these kind of thoughts are extremely common its juat we are all too afraid to open up about them. :hug:
 
Thanks melly I think having a doctor husband must have helped. Not sure what my husband will think of these thoughts. I wouldn’t even know how to tell him or even open the discussion. When I imagine telling him I feel like panic attacks coming getting very anxious about it. So maybe I go to my GP again not sure :(
 
That would be a good start. You never know your DH may be able to support you.he might be surprised at first but might understand. I was lucky and it did help talking about it. I just hope you are able to get some support with it soon.x
 
I tried talking to him tonight but I couldn’t tell him about the thoughts. I think what makes mine ones worse is that they are considered intrusive sexual thoughts. Even writing it here makes me feel sick. Have you also heard about those?
 
I know someone with OCD so read up about intrusive thoughts, and sexual ones are common. This probably won't help but I used to do a lot of meditation involving watching thoughts and the origin of thoughts...and actually thoughts just start by themselves...you are not consciously making these thoughts happen really. They are happening to you for some reason. So the embarassment, guilt, shame, whatever you are feeling, although understandable (and a healthy reaction)...you need to realise these thoughts aren't really part of your conscious brain or doesn't originate there. Like having a bad nightmare - you're not morallly responsible for intrusive thoughts as far as I can see. I imagine reacting strongly to them may make them worse?

There might be a forum for this online, especially an OCD forum. Don't know if that would help - sometimes forums are full of the people who have not recovered rather than the ones who have. My friend had to have repeated treatment with CBT as it kept coming back. Now she's much much better.
 
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thank you so much! I feel so much better today after a full nights sleep, I think it's worse when I am tired and haven't slept for a couple of days. Thats why I was thinking how would I cope with another baby? what if these thoughts come back even worse, anyway I will look for these forums though, thank you so much
 

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