PND After MC

[Juice]

The time in between finding out at my scan that my baby had died and miscarrying a week later, I feel that I came to terms with what had happened. I felt positive for the future because after ttc for 14 months, at least now we knew that we could, and even though it was sad that we couldn't have this baby, we were looking forward to the fact that we could have another one soon.

It's now been a week since my miscarriage and although I still feel all the things that I've just described, I feel more sad and angry than I did before. I've been told by the people at the hospital that many women who have had miscarriages go through a similar process as women with post-natal depression due to the change of hormones. I thought that because I was already feeling positive and accepting of everything, that I probably wouldn't be affected by any sort of PND type feelings. Now I'm starting to think I might be wrong.

I don't feel like myself right now. I feel angry at silly little things that wouldn't bother a normal, rational person. I lie in bed at night thinking of awful things that might happen to me or my OH and how either of us would cope if the other one died or something. The I get really upset and feel stupid for being upset. These thoughts and feelings are not healthy!!

At this point, I don't feel out of control or like I'm going off the rails or something, but I'd like to know if these types of depressing feelings will go away by themselves? Maybe once my cycle is back to normal then my hormones will go back to normal and the problems with rectify themselves? Other than anti-depressants and counselling, what other solutions could there be?

I don't even know why I've written all this. I guess it just feels good to let off some steam.

 

[TORino]

It's a huge thing having a mc, naturally it takes a while for us to come to terms with the loss.

Be kind to yourself hun, everything you mentioned sounds pretty normal in terms of the grieving process. It's early days. Take it one day at a time, talk to people or cry if you need to.

I know it's easy for me to say, but it does get easier. You'll never forget, but you'll learn to deal with your emotions eventually.

I was up and down for weeks, it was a really awful experience and a very sad one. I don't think I coped particularly well really, about 6 weeks afterwards I was at a wedding and I drank too much and shouted at my hubby. And broke down in tears about it all.

I probably stopped thinking about it all the time about 2-3 months afterwards

Big hugs xxxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Juice - I totally agree with Torino, what your describing is totally normal, you only had your mc a week ago, literally take each day as a new day, and see where that takes you, get through the day, make sure you spend quality time and lots of talking with each other about how your both doing, coping, as it can take it's toll on your relationship too.

You will get through this together , and when your ready to go again , as a couple yourll be stronger than ever..

I actually turned the corner, as soon as I decided we wereactively trying again.... gave me the control and focus back

Big hugs X

 

[lizsamuel80]

I had my first MC in Nov last year I was OK. It was a surprise we hadn't planned for another pregnancy but it did make us want another baby badly. My first cycle after the MC came 29 days after the MC started so we figured my body was back to normal and started trying that month. I got a +hpt on New years day. We lost that baby to at 10+4 weeks I was devestated. I felt guilty for not waiting long enough even though the rational part of my mind was screaming no that's not it But you can't help it it's human nature. For the 4 months we waited I was like a dragon. If someone would ask me so 'hows that baby making going?' or 'Any news yet?' I'd grind my teeth. I did snap a few times. Especially when I had friends around for an afternoon tea. One of them had gestational Diabetes so i asked her what she can't have. She ran through the list of foods that all pregnant people should stay away from. I remember just yelling at her saying "I know all that I've been living it for 6 months, I meant the gestation diabetes." I felt like punching her.

Anyway long story short I've noticed in the last few weeks there has been positive a change. We'll see how I am in a few weeks when my second Due date rolls around.

 

[Sue Clare]

As a sufferer of pnd myself(I now go on anti depressents once I've had baby)
generally if you feel sad and down for 2 weeks, you need to see your GP who will prescribe
medication and/or counselling. Most new mums get baby blues which last a few days to a week after
birth and this is normal, but 2 weeks or longer could indicate pnd.
Good luck xx

 

[5Element]

Hi Juice,
Just to let you know I am thinking of you too. I had my mc a week ago now aswell (still going through a natural one, dont want a d&c if I can avoid it) and it has really been an up and down ride! I didnt know that about PND but it would make sense. I am feeling alittle brighter about the future now and am certainly not willing to give up yet! WAY TO EARLY YET!
There are so many other wonderful strong women on here which, I feel, have been through so much more than I have and have had the strength to carry on and hit the jackpot with a sticky smartie!
BIG HUGS YOUR WAY!

 

[kiwifrootkai]

One of them had gestational Diabetes so i asked her what she can't have. She ran through the list of foods that all pregnant people should stay away from. I remember just yelling at her saying "I know all that I've been living it for 6 months, I meant the gestation diabetes." I felt like punching her.

I had one girl tell me how you work out your due date when I asked her why she thinks she;s further than they're telling her. She also told me all about why pregnant people can't wear high heels


It's still so fresh for you hun. It's completely natural for you to be feeling so down, you've suffered a terrible loss.

Could you maybe arrange counselling through your GP? I know it can help to talk through it with someone, especially if you suffer with feelings of guilt etc.

I'm sorry you're hurting

xo