PLEASE HELP LO NOT SLEEPING AT THE END OF MY TETHER HELP

[Guadagnia]

Hi..

My LO is now approx 9 weeks old and he sleeps no problem during the day, but does not sleep at night. Me and my other half take it in turns he stays up till 3-4am, and I have him the rest of the day its wearing us both out and tbh tempers are frought.

If we carry on like this I can see us splitting up

We both love our LO, but as soon as you put him in his crib he flips, waves his arms about, spits his dummy out, its a high pitched scream which just gets louder and louder. I swaddle him,and bathing him before bedtime, low lights etc, keeping him awake in the day, I try putting him in when hes asleep and hes still the same. My OH says its purely his temper, leave him he will cry himself to sleep, I even took him to the doctors the other day to get him checked out nad he was fine.

Ive had to postpone going back to work, and things are soo bad I really dont want to leave the other half with him to look after him, as he is starting to lose that bond.

I really dont know what else to try any suggestions please

Im very very worried

It didnt mean to be like this, and Im slowly getting depressed over it, and I dont want to go down that slippery slope.

Thanks Ladies

 

[newmum]

.

 

[Guadagnia]

Thanks Midna & New Mum

Sometimes I just feel like such a crap mum

I know it will get better but just dont know when

 

[sam96031]

my sis had this with her little boy and the only thibng she could do was keep him awake in the day, if it was up to her LO he would have slept all day and awake all night, he is a lot better now but with the crib i cant help there as she co-sleeps
good luck though

 

[Huddsgirl]

i found with my LO that she wouldnt go in the crib unless she was secure. we used to wrap her up in her shawl (sp) quite tight so her arms couldnt go all over the place and she would sleep.
also if he likes to sleep alot in the day just wake him up every hour and a half so he doesnt go into really really deep sleeps. i know its hard as ur so knackered from the evenings but i think letting him sleep for the majority of the day is not gonna help.
xxxxx

 

[trixipaws]

could it be colic? dorry i dont kno much about it. hope things improve for u soon tho hun

 

[NooNoo]

we went through this...i couldnt wait for oh to go back to work as he just made me worse..

It is down to your lo being so tiny..im afraid you have to ride it out..the first few weeks are the worst but it will get better

I was exactly the same and broke down and said i cant do it many times

try to be strong and look for the light at the end of the tunnel...it is there..

Mia just all of a sudden started sleeping through..keep going, your doing a great job!!

 

[NIE]

How are things going babes?

Adam is pretty much the same. I only get a sleep if he is in bed with us. xxx

 

[Sammystar]

I'd suggest wrapping as well.......or did you try that already?

 

[Sage]

Aww i felt i had to reply i no exactly how you feel . My 5 week old boy is gorgeous but GOD does he have a temper and a set of lungs! Sometimes i feel like the worse mum coz he seems to cry more than the time he spends awake and happy and i hate it coz of all people as his mum i feel i should be able to console him, but we both no babies cry and we're not really the worset mummies!

My Kyran is not in any sort of routine yet and ive given up trying at this early stage. As far as rules go i try and feed him strictly in the day every 3 hours unless he sleeps past then (which is extremely rare!) For the last week ive noticed a slight change in him in that although he wakes me screaming constantly in the night for feed he will go straight to sleep after hes eaten. Usually around 12 and then 3 but come 6 theres no chance and hes wide awake (I try remind myself dont get upset at least youve had 5ish hours sleep thats better than nothing!) This is how myself and my partner have accomplished this small step so far...

1) We both sleep downstairs now on the sofas with his moses basket next to us. At 9 after his bottle we make 2more up to go in the fridge so that at 12 and 3 when he starts screaming for food he has it straight from the fridge no waiting or fusing for it to cool down. The lights are off and the room is dark and quiet and we dont speak to him at all. He's fed tightly wrapped in a blanket. Then when hes finally asleep hes put in his moses basket and we put two more rolled up blankets either side of him, he seems to like the security.

2) During the day i try keep him awake as much as possible now dont get me wrong after about 30mins his temper starts even tho i no hes not tired. Weve recently purchased a "kick 'n' play" bouncer. So he usually plays or stare blankly at that for 30mins, then starts screaming so we put a blanket on the floor take his nappy off and let him kick about on the floor till he gets bored of that. Some times theres not calming him so i place him in his bouncer and just let him scream. Usually by the time 3 hours has passed he has his next bottle and will fall asleep.

Let me no how you get on and if anything else works for you coz im sure i could do with some tips aswell! (As i am typing this he is absolutely screaming his head off! The neighbours will think im beating him soon! lol!)

 

[Alexa]

Hiya, my sister had this trouble with her LO but she was told to put something at the end of his feet, just so he could feel it. It worked wonders for her, especially at bath time as well.

 

[laetitia85]

what has worked for me is knowing when his has entered what i call 'the deep sleeping phase'.
I feed kenzo just before going to bed, and stroke his hair and sing a little song that i made up for him. dimmed lights, almost no noise around and in my arms. He normally falls asleep pretty quick. I wait a bit to make sure he is in his deep sleep, then I put him in his moses basket. but you have to wait until he is sleeping deeply. After that, when he wakes up for a feed at night, he falls asleep straight after (in fact, I believe he is still asleep when he is feeding). but it's all about knowing when he as entered the deepest phase of his sleep. if you put him in his bed when he's only half asleep he'll wake up for cuddles.

by the way you are NOT a crap mum

 

[Rosebay]

Hiya,

this bit doesn't last for long- honest! I know it looks like a steep mountain right now but believe me it gets better.

The advice about the 2 1/2 hours is very good. Little babies can do this thing where they get too tired to sleep- I know it sounds crazy but my LO did it all the time once we thought about it. By putting him down to sleep at strict times during the day (about 2 1/2 hours apart) he started to fall asleep at those points and so not get too hysterical to sleep well.

****Just my opinion and it's a subject that divides people*** but Gina Ford saved our sanity in the first year. I didn't do exactly what she said but kind of adapted it to us. She has routines that build these timings into them and frankly with Mel the day we tried her routine it all worked and his best little friend was in it after 3 days. Mel went from sleeping 11 hours a day to 15 and in better periods too.

What my OH and I did was to split it so that I did nights while he had earplugs in then in the evening when he got home I went to bed at 7pm with earplugs and he looked after him until the before bedtime feed at 11pm when I took my earplugs out and then because he generally slept until 2.30-3 I got sleep between 7-3am and then after he settled again which was the only way I could do it. It didn't last long like this but it was the only way we could manage it and it did work. The earplugs help because you can totally relax as you know you can't hear anything and so you totally give over responsibility to the other person and let go for a few hours, otherwise I was listening while asleep!

Hope things get easier for you soon
Huge hugs
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[Rosebay]

Oh, also could it be hunger? When they go through growth spurts sometimes they need more to drink? Just didn't know if you were breastfeeding or bottle? We had to switch to a hungry baby formula at about 5 weeks because he was drinking so much SMA Gold and still waking hungry and the change really made a difference?

I really didn't think I could do it at times, I cried so much, it was such a huge shock to the system having a newborn but you're doing fantastically and you'll work it out- honestly. Just try to be really nice to your OH and don't be afraid to admit that it's hard work because it is but it doesn't last for long with this intensity. Have you got any family and friends who could give the two of you an afternoon off together or even an evening? It really is worth trying to pull some favours in so that you and your OH can have a little breathing space from time to time. In years past we would have had extended families living with us to help us through this difficult bit- coping singlehandedly is a very modern situation really and kind of unnatural too. Don't feel that you can't ask for help- we called my mum in after we'd been home 24 hours as we just couldn't cope alone to start with and she stayed until we felt more confident.

If it helps some of my friends who are having their second now say that it's never that bad again even with a newborn and a toddler, I think a lot of the initial shock is about becoming a parent and not knowing what to do or having confidence in yourself but you can and will do it in your own way and your baby will be fine. Looking after yourself is half the battle so call in some help if you can and work out some shifts so that both you and your OH get some sleep even if it means that you don't spend much awake time together for a few weeks. Sleep deprivation is used as a torture method you know, don't underestimate its power to reduce anyone to a jibbering wreck.


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[Sage]

Change the teat flow!!! Ive jut put my boy onto a second flow teat and its amazing how much he's changed! I think the problem i had was he was taking about 40mins to drink a bottle and he must of got fed up coz he was only drinking 2oz then the next feed 4oz then3 etc. I guess he wasnt feeling content then hed tire himself out screaming but not wanna sleep coz he was still hungry. Since i started the new teats two days ago he consistantly takes 5oz and is so much more settled its unbelievable! He only cries now when he first wakes for a cuddle or fedtime is approaching. Ok he still wakes up at 11 2 and 5am but thats parenthood for you!