Panic!

[megsmeadow]

This is my second week back at work and until now had gone reasonably well, I'm doing a phased return and have a fab manager. I was under the false impression that most folk knew why I was off however I work in a hospital and some folk don't miss you if there's different shifts etc. it's only when you see someone that you realise it's been a few weeks since you saw them last. Well that's exactly what happened. I walked into a ward and a colleague greeted me saying she hadn't seen me for ages, and rattled on about when my scan was and were we finding out the sex etc. I had to interrupt her to say I'd lost the baby bearing in mind I'd have been about 27 weeks by now and although fat I definitely don't look pregnant anymore) to which she apologised but started asking more questions, when was this, what happened.

I thought I was prepared for this sort of thing but I couldn't hold it together and left immediately in tears and starting to have a mild panic attack. Thankfully I was able to return to the safety of my office where my colleagues are friends too. I calmed down and got my coat. How do you cope when people ask out of the blue? Most folk at work knew I was pregnant and if they didn't at 20 weeks it was pretty obvious. I need to find some strategies for this, maybe since it's happened now I'll be more prepared. Feeling a bit shaken by it all.

 

[Gayle30]

Oh sweetheart. I am so sorry. I really don't know what to say other than offer a hug. Xxx

 

[megsmeadow]

Thanks Gayle, my head is so fuzzy tonight, it's taken so much out of me. x

 

[Eryinera]

Big Hugs hun. I don't know of anything I can say to help you either.

I know that I lost mine a hell of a lot earlier than you and some people know some people didn't. I got asked a lot of questions as I had missed the busy time at our work most knew I was in hospital though.

I found with the ones that knew heading them off at the post when they say "good morning how are you?" with telling them "im doing better but it's hard after losing the little one" helped avoid the questions I wanted to avoid. It's hard just blurting it out but I take a deep breath before and it just meant that they didn't say anything that unwittingly knocked me back and caused more upset. I felt I could do things on my own terms and then say "i'm not ready to talk" if I didn't feel up to it or tgen just take things as I wanted rather than being swept along like you experienced.

It may not work for you and I wish I could say something that would help you have been an inspiration to me and I just want to give you a cuddle.

 

[Lou1103]

Argh that sounds awful. I think your reaction was normal hun, especially having to talk about it all again. I don't know if there are any strategies other than time. If anyone asks you could say u don't want to talk about it but it will still upset you xxx

 

[megsmeadow]

Thanks for your replies. I felt a bit anxious about going in today but had to do it. The strange thing is I can talk about my little girl on my terms and I can just about cope with the vague 'how are you doing' questions. I'm not sure I've had to tell many people that I lost Oirrinn though, and maybe her asking about scans and gender sent my mind way back to 7 weeks ago.
Well I went in today and did what I needed to do. I generally work with nice folk, some aren't very tactful though but not because they don't care. It's exhausting isn't it!