when to return to work after miscarriage?

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by s, Feb 14, 2006.

  1. s

    s Well-Known Member

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    Hi,
    I had a miscarraige over the weekend and was signed off by my local hospital for a week. When did you return to work after it happened to you?
    Thanks,
    S
     
  2. LucyBee

    LucyBee Well-Known Member

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    From memory, I think I just took a couple of days off work but that's because physically I felt OK, it was just the mental side of things that wasn't too good. I felt so down and depressed that I didn't want to go back to work at all. In the end though it helped me to get focussed and to move on.
    Take as much time as you need. This is a tough time for your body and for your mind and I'm sure your boss will understand that.
    I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss. I do understand how terribly painful it is. Things DO get better with time.
    I'm here if you need a chat and will be thinking of you.
    Lucyx
     
  3. Dee1985

    Dee1985 Well-Known Member

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    when i had a d&c after loosing my 13week old baby
    i would say i needed 2/3 days but the doctor gave me a sick note for 1 week.

    when i misscarried my 8week old baby naterally i went to work 2days after
     
  4. sasswa

    sasswa Well-Known Member

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    S,

    It is so hard. I ended up taking a week off but struggled when I got back to work. I was very depressed - the week of going back as well I was caught up in the bombings in London so it compounded EVERYTHING. In the end, I had to get a short course of anti-depressants from the doctor. It helped immensely. In the end, I think it took me a good 3 weeks to a month. There is no right or wrong time though.....work were fantastic and whenever I was feeling low at work they'd just let me do what I needed. They took some work off me too to relieve the pressure.

    How's your partner? OH was going through his upset in different ways so we weren't that supportive to each other......it is so hard. As Lucy said though, PM us anytime that you need it. This forum helped me immensely though through that period.

    Love & hugs,

    Sass
    x
     
  5. sarahj

    sarahj Well-Known Member

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    i lost a baby at 10 weeks lat year.i was ok to do things after a few days but it took weeks before i mentally felt ok. things made me cry for about 4 weeks! take as much time as you need everyone is different.
    sorry about your loss.

    sarahj
     
  6. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hey S,

    I have posted on other thread too x

    I was signed off for 2 weeks by hospital doctor when I was admitted with m/c last August. I actually bled for over 2 weeks even though little bean passed through after about 10 days... the bleeding and emotional pain just lingered and I just could not face anyone. Then I had to go to my sis's wedding as bridesmaid so that took it all out of me again and I ended up being off work for 3 weeks in total.

    EVen when I went back I would sneak off to the loo for a little cry or take my dog out as an excuse to get some air and be alone... I work with all men and it was tough.. and then my boss was a shit a few weeks later by saying my work was suffering and I was making mistakes... it was all bullshit.. he wanted to find a way to get rid of me to avoid any maternity benefits if I managed to get preg again but I wouldn't let him and fought him over it... I am still here and WILL stay to get my maternity rights after all.. sod him!!

    Take as long as you need, I think a week is too short.. depends on how you feel phsyically and emotionally but I just wanted to be alone all the time.

    xx
     
  7. s

    s Well-Known Member

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    You've really been through hell. I hope it's a comfort to know that you're a strong woman which you certainly are.
    S
     
  8. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Thanks S but I am not so sure about being strong.. just sometimes determined, stubborn, and demanding.. hmmmm well thats what OH says anyway!!

    I still have a little cry when I remember all my lost beans.. the recent loss last year being the most painful as was with my OH and we both really wanted to start a family... the shock and disappointment mixed with such sadness never really go away.. and of course I am paying for those feelings now with all my paranoia.. but as you can see from this forum.. so many women have m/c [aparently the figure is now 1/3!!] and they go on to have lovely little babies... so there is hope for us all yet and you are young and have plenty of time.. sadly I do not!!

    When I read your post I actually started crying.. so sad for you and reminded me of how much it hurts but we do get through it and with the help of this forum and my OH we are here again with happier news... and so will you be soon!

    lots of love
    x
     
  9. s

    s Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Anna Marie. This gives me hope and fortifies me a little.
    You're a really good person.
    So how long did it take you to concieve and how soon after your MC did you try again?
    S
     
  10. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    Hi S.. just posted a rather long and probably uninteresting message on your other thread in first trimester...

    essentially after this latest m/c I wanted to try again.. something in my mind was just sheer determination and sadness made me keep trying, I had my AF regularly soon after but no fertile signs at all - then they found a polyp, 4 large cysts on one of my ovaries and some cervial irregularities.. all of which they told me were unlikely to have caused the m/c but the polyp may have been a result of this latest m/c.. so I was very upset to be told to hang fire and not ttc until all sorted so even though not trying every time AF came round I was beside myself.. then my consultant was fab and performed a hysteroscopy to remove the polyp and did biopsy of cervix which was fine and within 2 weeks of those procedures I had the all clear to ttc again but I already had my BFP!!

    so.. in short m/c in august, not really trying again but had BFP beginning of December.. so I think it was 4 cycles after m/c....

    I think the most important thing is to ensure your body is ready.. have at least one normal cycle to check its OK and then if you want to try then get to it!! I waited cos I was told to and also had no feritility signals at all until after they removed the polyp.. my consultant feels very proud that he enabled me to get my BFP and when he saw me on Wed he was very happy that I have made it this far... so there is hope for everyone!!

    xx
     

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