Overbearing mother in law!!

[Sammy1234]

Im not sure, if this is the right place to write. Im with my partner 6 years now and expecting our first baby in december which we both are very excited about. All healthy and great so far however there is one thing that I am not dealing with quite well or to be honest just avoiding the situation all together which is my mother in law to be. I understand this is her first grandchild and shes very excited but everything i do or say is not good enough for her. For example breastfeeding is my main option atm for feeding, she thinks im wrong. Getting cheap clothes for example vests, bibs, socks and pjs out of a well known shop but she puts her nose up at me saying "my grandchild wont be wearing any of that dirt". Because hes a protestant and Im a catholic we are trying hard to find a place to live which is mixed and the place i suggested was a mixed area and lovely family area but because it wasnt prodestant it wasnt good enough for her saying because my partner has firearms that "youll not be allowed your guns up there, god knows whos about" which really offends me as a catholic. But two days later a house became available in her area which is not mixed what so ever and she suggested we move in there. 🙈 (my friend moved into this area and got a threat put on her door for being catholic lol). We have also came up with a few names for our baby as we know the sex now and a few names sound irish but arent, they are greek orgin lol bit she doesnt like them because they are too catholic. Also my mother has 10 grandchildren including this baby but his mother has said 6 times and counting now "well you can tell your mum to take a back seat as this is my grandchild not hers" and laughs but i know its not a joke. Am I being too sensitive or is she having far to much to say for being a grandmother? Its pushed me away bigtime. I don't want to go anywhere near her and that makes me feel guilty even though i know i shouldnt feel guilty. What should i do? Tia

 

[Vintageling]

Your not being to sensitive you need to tell her straight hun and your other half needs to back you up she is being totally out of order the fact your Catholic shouldn't even matter and your choice to breastfeed should be encouraged and I would tell her if she only want the baby in expensive cl9thes then she can fork out for it. She needs to be told hun

 

[Sammy1234]

I never thought it did matter to her what I was but clearly it does. Think she keeps forgetting that her grandchild is half catholic. My partner did say to her about backing off abit and let me and him find our own two feet without her input but last night she was saying stuff about my mum again. I havent been in to see her to say anything yet but I'll be in later this evening and i know she will say something then so ill be standing up for myself then. Thanks for your reply. Its good to get an outside opinion on the matter and when i dont hear the word hormones and that ����

 

[tinselcat]

Your gut knows... the fact you were motivated to post on here about it shows you really are unhappy with the situation, and that's the important thing. Go with your instincts and see if you can get your OH's help to deal with the MIL, as she's not respecting your boundaries at all. xx

 

[Vintageling]

I never thought it did matter to her what I was but clearly it does. Think she keeps forgetting that her grandchild is half catholic. My partner did say to her about backing off abit and let me and him find our own two feet without her input but last night she was saying stuff about my mum again. I havent been in to see her to say anything yet but I'll be in later this evening and i know she will say something then so ill be standing up for myself then. Thanks for your reply. Its good to get an outside opinion on the matter and when i dont hear the word hormones and that ����

Yea I think your well warranted to have a moment with this hun even without hormones raging she is being out of order and to be fair you have done better then me because the moment if it was me that she would have said anything about my mum I would have lost it.

 

[WinterWolf]

Omg! I wouldn't be talking to someone who spoke to me like that. Family or not, she has no right to boss you around and be so rude. I'd tell her to back right off.

 

[Puglover]

I know how difficult this can be and they don't always back off either, no matter what you say. You have to be careful not to let it get between you and your partner, as you need each other. Learn to let what she says, drift over your head. Ultimately, you will be living your own life. Don't rise to it.