Our 4 Year Anniversary - STILL NO PASSION!! ARGHH!!!

[Julia]

Hi girls,

I have been married for 4 years today! I am 25 weeks pregnant... the whole day has been a disaster!!! Could not go where we wanted for the day due to wind and heavy rain so went to spend some money in a lovely big department store...BUT my little girl (who is two and normally well behaved) threw a huge wobbly so we had to leave after 20 minutes of being there! Our evening family meal out (just the three of us) had to be cancelled because I knew that the wobbly was not completely over. We had an Indian at home instead and my daughter threw green mint sauce all over the dining room table....

BUT...

Then, when we actually go time to ourselves late this evening and I suggested some "affection" (which has not happened since becoming pregnant - I have also not felt like it) but DH pulled a face and said that there was no way he could have sex because of my bump and the fact that phsycologically he would think that his willy would be hitting the baby!! I replied asking whether it was the weight i have put on that turned him off but he said "not at all - it is just the thought of my lovely baby being a couple of centimetres away from my willy - it does not feel right!"

I understand that alot of men feel like this so I am not really down about it! Just wanted to share my anniversary with you all!!
Is your man fearful of sex with you now?

Julia xxxxx

 

[EllieBelle]

Happy anniversary for yesterday, and sorry it didnt all go to plan!

Although Im really not up for sex at the moment, I feel like Im depriving my hubby as he still wants to make love.

I generally give in and we have sex maybe once a week (sometimes every 9 days or so).

I feel dreadful about it as we used to have a great sex life, but now my sex drive seems to have disappeared!

 

[Bexie]

Sorry to hear about your anniversary not turning out to plan.

I'm the same as Ellie Belle, since becoming pregnant (actually since having our daughter) our sex life has dropped massively and I really feel like I am depriving my OH as he still has a keen sex drive, whereas mine makes an appearence maybe once every couple of months.

I don't know how I'd overcome your partners feelings. Obviously loads of people have regular sex while pregnant and it does no harm to the baby, perhaps try and find out some information on a website.

He's a man and I bet his desires break down soon enough, perhaps offer to give him a nice massage after having a nice romantic meal and see where it leads.

Good luck honey xx

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies, girls,
I think everyone's sex life alters in some way whether it is more, less or never! From speaking to most of my friends who have children they have all said that their sex life decreased or stopped. My DH said that he did not find me less attractive in any way, it was just the fact that he felt like the baby was too close for comfort!!

I will have to hang on and see what happens after the baby is born (or a couple of weeks after at least!)

I don't feel like sex to be honest but would just like my DH to come on to me from time to time!

Julia xxx

 

[raquel31]

Hi Julia! I know what you mean about wanting your OH to come on to you. A lot of men have this problem, tell him that having sex will not hurt the baby and it won't even feel anything as it is surrounded by water to protect it. Equally HE will not feel the baby, my OH told me it didn't feel any different inside.
With my last pregnancy, we had sex right up until the birth and it was a lot of fun trying out new positions!

For now, you'll have to keep coming on to him until he gives in, after he's done it once he should have no problems with it.

Good Luck! xx

 

[Julia]

Thanks Raquel,

You are right, alot of men have this problem!

I find with my DH, the more I go on about something, the more irritated he becomes!! I think, because I am not fussed about having sex anyway, I will just leave it....BUT....he had better buck up his ideas after the baby has been born!!! He is able to laugh about it with me though saying things like "I have really strong wrists" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!!)..

I think if we can laugh about it then it is not a big issue that is never discussed rather then letting it fester away...

Love and frustration,

Julia xxx