Other People Buying Baby Things gggrrr

[Mummy Rich]

I am sooooooo excited at the thought of buying anything little or big at the moment. So I have bought a few really small bits.

Anyhow... 'my mother-in-law' keeps asking for lists of what to buy for the baby - she is getting dan my oh baby stuff mainly for chrimbo to help with costs which is fine.

But am worried at this rate I will have nothing left to freakin buy. Dan has just politely told me his mum has already bought a moses basket for when the baby comes to stay at hers!!! I just went livid. I know it sounds silly but I felt she was robbing the baby before its even born. I know she is only trying to help and she really is a lovely person but does anyone get what I mean?

She has bought the steriliser and bottle warmer etc already. I am so greatful to her but I am all excited to get some stuff myself

x

 

[Vicki83]

If you don't want to say anything face to face to her, maybe get Dan to explain how you're feeling and, well, to back off a bit?

 

[Mummy Rich]

He dosent get it tho vick. I tried to do this and he came out with his mum had said she thinks she'll get pushed out (its her first granchild)

Although I adore her... she would take offense if I said something.
Guess I just needed a rant!

A moses basket before we've got one!?!??! ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

[Mik]

HOw about making up your list of what you need to get decided what you definately want to get yourself and then sit down with her say something like "This is so exciting to have all you help with this here is the list of what we need we want to get x, y and z ourselves what do you want to buy for baby?"

 

[MrsBrightside]

HOw about making up your list of what you need to get decided what you definately want to get yourself and then sit down with her say something like "This is so exciting to have all you help with this here is the list of what we need we want to get x, y and z ourselves what do you want to buy for baby?"

Yeah I think that's possibly the best way to deal with the problem... my mam asked me what I wanted or needed them to buy and what we wanted to get ourselves as did my OH's rents!!

 

[maridunn]

i wish i had this problem with my m-in-law! she hasnt even acknowledged that i exist let alone the baby and hasnt spoken to my oh since before we got married!!! on the up side i wont have an interferring mother in law to deal with!

anyway i think what everyone has said is what i would do, try and have a gentle word with her about the things you guys want to buy and say how grateful you'll be with the other things she can help with! my parents asked what we needed help with and then when we said whatever you want, they said they will buy us the pram which will help a lot!

hope you get things sorted....

 

[mary70]

this coming from an older mum with 2 kids, i know its exiting hun but babies are very exspensive little things take all the help u can get, the baby things only last for a very short time you will be buying for the next 18+ years

 

[Vicki83]

Men don't understand do they Mummyrich - they just see it as buying things, they don't understand the sentimental side of it and why you wanna do it yourself!

Is he a mummys boy? Like my OH

 

[scones]

Maybe explain that anything she buys can she keep it at her house as you are superstitious, just say anything!!!!!

 

[nori]

I also wish i had this problem with the in laws.. my mum and dad have been great but OH's have only just asked if we need anything (bit bloody late now!)

However, saying that.. i do understand what you mean as i went through a stage of wanting to buy things myself as it was the exciting bit.. soon realised though that there is sooo much to get first time round!

John lewis do a gift list for nurserys. My OH and me made one up purely so we could see what we needed to buy. If anyone asked if theres anything you need you can then give them the number of the list.. I would just tell her that other people are asking what you need and you dont want to duplicate anything so will write a little list. Make sure you make her feel great about buying things though as the help you get from people is so important (especially if you are skint!).

Good luck,

Claire x

 

[pickled_onion]

Heh, I understand where you are coming from. It's lovely that she's excited and wants to help out but it can feel like people are muscling in, can't it?

My mum has already bought a cot for her house for when we visit (she's keen!) and is buying us a bassinet of our choosing for the early months. My mother in law, on the other hand, is arriving next week with a cot-bed and a travel system for us. She cleared the cot with me in advance but the first I knew of the travel system was her telling me she'd bought us one and describing it. I didn't even get to choose my own I'm truly grateful, honestly and between our parents all the large expenses have been covered already but I must admit, I have had a few thoughts along on the lines of, "argh, they are taking over!!"

I've been quite insistent that they don't get anything else big now. Both mums are still pushing for lists though. We'd like to be left a few things to buy ourselves. My mum is now busy stockpiling nappy liners and wipes and balms!

 

[tracey 2]

ah bless u hun sounds like she is trying to be bit too helpful bless her,

but i know what you mean im not going to let anyone get anything for me want to do it all myself, iv still got cot and little bits and peices from chloe so will use all that one less thing to get but hope you manage to get sorted hun

 

[kadesmummy]

I was the same way earlier on in my pregnancy. OH's mum just had her last baby 7 months ago, so she's basically giving me EVERYTHING.. and i felt put out, and it meant i couldn't choose any of the 'fun stuff' like pram etc, but at the end of the day it's saved us loads! and i'm so thankful.

Just say to her, ok well we're buying 'so and so' kinda thing, and give her a little list of stuff you don't mind her choosing if she's that keen to help out by buying stuff x

 

[krissie23]

I can understand where you're coming from. It is nice of her to buy things for the baby and she's obviously just really excited as it will be her first grand-child, but I can fully understand you want to buy some special things for the baby yourself.

I've got a similar problem with my MIL... except she's not buying anything new, just gathering a huge collection of baby clothes & gear from her two daughters, who have 6 kids between them! I am very grateful as it will save me money, but I would like this baby to have some 'new' stuff aswell, IFYKWIM!? She had a go at me the other day because I bought two cream sleep-suits, she said it was a waste of money coz I could have all the other kids old things for this baby! I would do as others have suggested, maybe a make a little list of the things you like and would have bought yourself, and if she wants to help out & pick a few things from that to get for the baby, you would be very grateful!

 

[Carley1985]

I had the exact same problem, except it was my mother and sister in law! I did get really upset, they bought everything, bottles, sterilizers, clothes, toys, bouncy chair and then told me that they'd had a baby shopping day. I was really stuck about what to say, i was really greatful for them buying it but i would have liked to have some say in what they bought and i felt like you, that they were taking my baby and bonding with it more than me before it was born! They bought enough for me to change Aiden twice a day and not have to do washing for a week and still have spare. All i bought was one little newborn set.

I put my foot down when they bought a PINK winnie the pooh moses basket because they thought i was having a girl. I burst into tears and they took it back.

I hope they're not like it this time because it's going to be our last baby (or planned one anyway!) and i want to have the things that i wanted with Aiden and if they do it again i might go insane!!!

I didn't know how to tell them without offending them so i smiled and excepted everything even though some of the things he never wore because they were too girly. If you find a way of letting her down gently then please let me know just in case i need to this time!!

 

[Mummy Rich]

I took the cowards way out and had a word with my OH. He didnt seem to get what I was on about and called me ungreatful!!! gggrrr men!

So I just said bluntly number 1... ive a big family who will wanna buy stuff so its not fair for your mum to buy stuff and number two this is my baby and i wanna get some special stuff!!

She has even bought nappies in bulk. I'm 15 weeks today! ggrrrrr. I thought this was ott but i know how excited she is.

Anyway... i thinks me and the oh are having a mini baby shopping day so then i can go c her and explain well mums getn this, im gettin this and your gettin this.

Stressful times.

Thank you all you lovely ladies xxxxx
p.s. if nanna wants to be that much involved she can buy my baby the Boori Sleigh Cot-Bed furniture... cot is only £600

 

[Anna23]

what your writing mummy rich is simalar to my mil, lol she aparently has brought loads of clothes and informed me i won't need to buy baby vests etc... as she has got loads already well we just going to buy everything ourselfs, stuff what she is getting (sorry mil but tough hehe) if i was you i'd have a polite word with her, mabe offer to go baby shopping together thats what i was going to do with my mil take her shopping and tell her stuff we need that i haven't got later on when we close to the end but i kinda not doing that atm as she isn't in mine or hubbys good books AGAIN!!

 

[Mummy Rich]

as she isn't in mine or hubbys good books AGAIN!!

AGAIN...hahaha

I offered to go shopping but she said no as it was christmas shopping!!! but asked me what we wanted...ggggrrr

ah well. i'm the mummy she has to keep me sweet or il sit on her when i get fat!! (or fatter as oh keeps sayin ha!)

 

[Anna23]

as she isn't in mine or hubbys good books AGAIN!!

AGAIN...hahaha

I offered to go shopping but she said no as it was christmas shopping!!! but asked me what we wanted...ggggrrr

ah well. i'm the mummy she has to keep me sweet or il sit on her when i get fat!! (or fatter as oh keeps sayin ha!)

yep AGAIN she seems to like phoning my hubby up telling him off about his brothers, the last time is becasue i messaged his brother being kind and caring and she phoned hubby having a go at him cas of what i said oh and she often flys off the handle before getting the facts

 

[Mummy Rich]

ah when will we win eh!!!! xx