other half issues

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by noofy, Feb 9, 2012.

  1. noofy

    noofy Active Member

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    Recently found out that I'm pregnant with our first child!
    My partner and I are in a fantastic relationship but at the moment I feel like I'm doing this on my own..

    Trying not to let my hormones interfere but I feel like I'm the only one interested in knowing about what the babys doing and what my body is up to etc etc.
    He hasn't read up into the pregnancy side of things as I think he feels as if its none of his concern.
    Just had a little argument as he said I've got my pregnancy dates muddled and it took me nearly half an hour to explain how it is calculated and timed. I told him if he read up on it then he'd know.
    Now we've calmed down I've mentioned a few facts about baby and he seems so disinterested in it all unless we're discussing things when the baby is actually born.
    I know he will need time to adjust etc but I can't help but feel a bit alone!
    All I want to do is talk pregnancy all the time!
     
  2. Sleepy sue

    Sleepy sue Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hun this was exactly how me and DH were tri 1 and a little of tri 2 it is really difficult we get really excited and can feel that many changes from pg that it is all we want to talk about. But for the man we are talking about something they can't see and they can't feel, he may really want LO but how can he bond with something he has no idea about. Scans really help the bonding process and when they can feel movements etc. Give it time he will start to get excited it just takes longer.

    Ooh I also down loaded a pg app for men onto his phone so he got info but in quite a light hearted manner. Xxx
     
  3. tweetyfoo

    tweetyfoo Well-Known Member

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    My DH is the same, dunno how many times I needed to explain to him how pregnancy is calculated. He couldn't understand how CBD said 1-2, but I was 4 weeks pregnant. He wouldn't read anything either, so I downloaded an app on his ipad and he glances at it now and again, he quite often forgets I'm pregnant, but men just dont get the same experience that we do.

    Hopefully your OH will come around soon x
     
  4. noofy

    noofy Active Member

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    Thanks, I'll have a look for an app for him!
    Just feeling like I'm the one that's supposed to be stroppy and ridiculous but its the other way around!
     
  5. tweetyfoo

    tweetyfoo Well-Known Member

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    I just live by the mantra that "men are stoopid" and it makes everything ok :rotfl:
     
  6. babyem

    babyem Well-Known Member

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    Tbh, I havent pushed OH into reading up on pregnancy, couples have managed to cope without books and the internet for thousands of years, as well as calculating dates. As long as he is there for me and baby, I couldn't care less x
     
  7. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    I'm exactly the same!
    I don't expect him to be the same as me about it because until he can feel the kicks, he's sort of out of the loop in a sense.
    He has been brilliant though, he talks to my belly every day and tells baby he loves it, he even kisses it goodnight every night lol, but I don't think I'd be overly bothered if he didn't x

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk
     
  8. FirstBabyEek

    FirstBabyEek Well-Known Member

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    :rotfl: Brilliant! Xx


     
  9. Maria1977

    Maria1977 Well-Known Member

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    First off congrats xx

    I think men find it harder and take longer to adjust to pregnancy. For us it's an instant change, a person growing inside that we get to know and bond with completely differently. For men they don't have that, it's still something that will at some point in the near future!

    As the pregnancy goes along I'm sure he'll get more interested, as bump grows and he can feel kicks and when you have scans etc.

    Not that it excuses him being a completely numpty, but it's just different for guys. Most of them seem to take a while to get into pregnancies!

    xxxxx
     
  10. winnie89

    winnie89 Well-Known Member

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    hey mine was exactly the same until i had my first scan he just didnt seem excited but when he saw our little man on the screen he's just burst into a smile and said i made that! some days i'm so proud of him (i.e when i came from work and he'd painted the nursery and set the cot up) and some days i wanna throttle him, but now our little man makes himself known when he wants attention mark (my hubby) turned over in bed so i turned with him and LO kicked him in the back until he turned back and cuddled him! :D when you have your scan and start to feel them more he'll have more of an interest i promise you xxx
     
  11. babyem

    babyem Well-Known Member

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    Aww! I dont read any pregnancy books, there a fairly new thing in comparison to child birth! x
     
  12. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    I think it's just men in general. Because at the beginning they cant really see or feel anything then it is hard to be interested like we do because I think we get to feel the first flutters etc where as they can't.

    My OH enjoyed the scans and when he started to feel her moving xx
     
  13. l_maclean

    l_maclean Well-Known Member

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    They say that women become mums from the BFP, but a man doesnt become a dad till the birth.

    My OH only got (slightly) more interested when he discovered he could make bubs move by tapping my belly, even recently I felt like he was only coming to antenatal class cos I was making him - but twice in the last week he's given me into trouble - the first time for not doing something (minor) that mw had suggested at class, and then for buying safety equipment that apparently is 'unsafe'. I was actually quite surprised that he's been paying attention. Guess men just don't show it the same.
    Xxx
     
  14. noofy

    noofy Active Member

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    Thank you for all your help, showed him some apps he could get for his blackberry and he told me that he doesn't want to become emotionally attatched to it so isnt going to read about it.
    I've calmed down a bit now and have decided that i don't want to force his involvement in the pregnancy if its not what he wants.
    It's definately making us distant from each other and it does make me upset but I'm hoping he'll come round..
     
  15. TaffyRose

    TaffyRose Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, my OH is the same and it does upset me. We had our 20 week scan yesterday and found out we are having a little boy and I thought this would change things, but it hasn't. He doesn't really have any interest and at the moment I can't really see that changing unfortunately. Luckily enough I'm excited enough for the both of us and love our little man so much xxx
     
  16. noofy

    noofy Active Member

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    I'll see if he wants to come to the scans with me but so far I have an enormous feeling that I'm alone in this :(
     
  17. winnie89

    winnie89 Well-Known Member

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    if he doesnt want to go hun could you always take a friend or a family member when i had a scan at 16 weeks i had my nan and aunty come with me cuz hubby was at work xxx
     
  18. pixie17

    pixie17 Well-Known Member

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    i felt like me and my husband were on different planets for months. it got so bad that i said i wanted to leave. looking back it was a case of that he just didnt feel that involved; physically and emotionally as more was happening to me than him. i felt really alone. it didnt help matters that we are living abroad at the moment with no friends and family around so i just had my OH to depend on. thankfully in the last two/three months we really bonded over it and things are now fine. you really have my sympathies because it i know how you feel but there is light at the end of the tunnel. men do just experience the whole thing differently to us women and they really do take a lot longer to 'get it'! big hug x
     
  19. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

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    it really is that men cant get emotionally involved in baby stuff during early preg hun. hardly any guys go all gooey over a baby they cant see or feel. once baby kicks and they have seen it on scans they do get more into it. i found its better to give them the benefit of the doubt really and being hormonal dosent help at all when you feel like that either.
     

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