Opinions Please

[jmhale2010]

I have been thinking about how and when I will tell everyone when I do get pregnant. Ideally I would like to tell immediate family as soon as I find out I am pregnant but not tell extended family and friends until after the first trimester. The problem is my mother in law CANNOT keep a secret and will not respect requests not to tell anyone. Both my sister in laws have been pregnant already, told parents first (asking them not to tell anyone) and both times my mother in law has told people anyway. I do not have a very good relationship with my mother in law and don't want to make it worse by offending her. But I do not want people to find out until I am ready for them to know and I would like to be able to share the news myself. I want to tell my own family immediately but feel like I cannot tell my husbands parents until I am ready for the whole world to know. If I tell everyone else first it will offend her. Ironically she is obsessed with following etiquette (except when it comes to keeping secrets) so if I just announce it to everyone at once on social media she will be offended and angry about that as well. How and when would you tell people if you were in my position? How would you handle the situation?

*I live hours away from my mother in law so avoiding her for a while would not be a problem for the most part.

 

[Merida]

I can understand, my MIL is a right chatterbox. She works in a supermarket and everyone who goes through her checkout knows our business. I'm not sure I'll even tell my own parents before the 12 week mark, but that's just me being exceptionally private. Is there much of problem in telling your own folks, but not your in laws? If your own parents can hold their tongue then your MIL will be none the wiser - how will she know that your parents knew first? That aside, it's entirely your decision who you tell and when, I wouldn't be worried about offending anyone in this situation. I totally know that's easier said than done though!

 

[Mrs M]

Have your FB status typed up, while ringing her to tell her the news! Ha! Once she knows, press enter!

 

[jmhale2010]

haha Mrs M that thought had crossed my mind

 

[Mrs M]

I would! I asked my dad not to tell anyone, and people were going into the shop my mam worked at and congratulating her! Ha ha! My MIL said we had better let his siblings know that night or she would have to ring and tell them!

 

[cuddlypudding]

I totally sympathise with you here, it would be nice to tell parents only until we are ready but my MIL will tell my husband's siblings so its not even an option we would consider. I also like the fact that it would be our little secret, mine and my hubbys in our little bubble for a while, while we get used to it.

Totally feel your pain.