One week on and a bit overwhelmed!

[Shaz]

Hi Girls,

Well Connor is just over a week old now and I just wondered, as a first time mum if what Im feeling is normal.

Basically until 3 weeks ago I was working full time, then up until a day before the birth I was mucking out my horse and trollying around in my car and suddenly - following an emergency C-Section - I have to practically sit around doing nothing.

MW told me off yesterday because she thinks I'm doing too much (like loading washing machine and going shopping) but I'm feeling pretty good physically and OH is being fantastic and helping me out loads.

I had the baby blues big time four days after the birth - sat there crying all day and trying to work out when I got back to work in September how I'm going to fit in looking after my horse, getting Connor to nursery, working a full day etc. I have loads of people around to help me but I feel like it's all my responsibility.

Also OH is probably going to Basrah for four months in June which is also scaring me and I keep crying about this as well because he's not going to be around.

Am I being too hard on myself too soon? My milk still isn't satisfying my son and we're having to bottle-feed to supplement it which makes me feel like a bit of a failure too. Also cannot drive because of C-Section - I feel like I'm mourning my loss of freedom and that I'm not really enjoying my baby when I should be.

Any advice - I'm usually such an organised, busy person and this is just not me!!!

 

[Daggers]

Shaz, yes what you are feeling is normal, I didn't go through a c section but I know what you mean about your world no longer revolving around you but the LO. My life has now become his, and you know what it is enjoyable!!! Give it time and for a change why not just chill out enjoy this time you have with your LO cause god knows it goes by quick enough!
Don't stress about what is going to happen in Septmeber by then you would have settled into motherhood and it will all sort itself out!
My advise ...take one day at a time, and the rest will follow, you'll only end up stressing yourself out if you keep on going the way you are now.
Welcome to motherhood hun it does get better every day

 

[Freya]

Totally agree with Daggers. It is a shock when baby arrives no matter how much you have prepared for it. You will start to feel 'normal' again I promise.


Take it easy for now and don't beat yourself up about things you can or can't do!! I always think that the mums who are trying to do the best job are those who are worried about what they do and how they feel.

Put your feet up and catch up on all the telly and DVD's you have always wanted to see and DONT feel guilty about it at all.

 

[Strangeness]

Everything you're feeling is normal hun! It's a huge thing adjusting to a baby in your life especially if you're used to be independant! I had an emergency c section too and found it hard to sit still. I'm used to doing things, when I was 41 weeks pregnant I was scrapping paint off my garage and redecorating the bathroom. Then when I had the c section I was told to do as little as possible. I couldn't stick that and was out shopping about 5 days after I had my son. Then my hv told me what would happen if I over did things and I just stopped and chilled out. The thought of my inside stitching opening and months of healing made me stop. 6 weeks is nothing when you think about it. I hated not being able to lift the car seat etc but it's worth it for just 6 weeks. Take the time you have to enjoy your new baby believe me it makes things loads easier if you relax and remember you've just given birth. A walk with the pushchair is great for getting you out but make sure it's on the flat or just a walk round a supermarket can keep you sane but seriously take it easy.

 

[Hypnorm]

don't worry it all sounds perfectly normal and things will start to settle down, things will fall in to place.
keep going with the breast feeding, every time you give a bottle feed you should be expressing too as that keeps your milk going, the more you bottle feed the less milk you will produce.
You are doing great and its early days and you've had a shock to the system, take it easy and stop worrying about work, in a few months time your whole out look might change and you might not want to work full time.

 

[Urchin]

Hiya
This all sounds very normal.
I agree with Hypnorm about the feeding, if you want to end up breastfeeding, feed as much as you can, the more he suckles the more milk you will produce, the more formula he has, the less breastmilk your body thinks he needs so you will stop producing.

Take this special time to relax and let other people do things for you... I know it's hard but they grow up so quickly!

you'll be fine.


xxx

 

[skatty]

I know exactly how you feel. I have laways been a busy but disorganised person so having to take it easy after my section was hard. I did it though because many of the girls on the forum didn't take it easy and got infections.

It must be hard if you are very organised as its almost impossible to be so with a newborn but its probably good for you too. It has been the opposite for me as I am so disorganised I've had to become a bit more together and that's a good lesson for me too. When I first had leorah I would plan all the things I'd do once I was past the 6 week mark but by then you are so busy with your baby you don't have time to be underwhelmed

As for your milk supply look into taking fenugreek supplements as a few people on the forum have done this recently with amazing results. Here is the thread:

http://pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=26979

Sorry to hear your DH will be going to Basrah, I can't imagine how upsetting that will be for both of you Enjoy your little family for now and definitely look forward to the summer with your lovely baby and riding your horse again.

I don't know anything about keeping horses but I did have a friend when I was younger that loved horses and she used to do the daily looking after of someones horse to get experience and was allowed to ride the horse in return. Could you get someone like that to help you?

The best thing for now is to get some chocolate and dvds and accept all that help that's being offered while you get to know your son and establish your breastfeeding

 

[jocymum]

God I know how you feel !! I had an emergenecy c-section 10dys ago and too am breastfeeding and also have horses (3 of them )
My OH is doing the horses so that's ok but it doesn't stop me wanting to go out and get the mud off them (they are out at the mo) even though it would be pointless
My little man is breastfeeeding ok but he's only 5lbs and i'm paranoid he's not getting enough, can't remember getting more than 4hrs sleep in a row since I had him and that was when i'd expressed enough so his dad could feed....
I must admit i'm happier just not being pregnant and I guess things will get easier, We WILL be out riding by the spring....our figues WILL come back.... our pelvic floor WILL return to bounciness...(SQUEEZE).....We WILL drive again.... just a bit of time chick