One Born Every Minute

it's really starting to annoy me now! it's all just kids having kids and it really makes me angry that these people just waltz through life expecting everything their own way, i have spoken to alot of the ladies on here who have been TTC for years and they are all lovely, i thought i was going to be one of those women who could never get pregnant, but i proved them wrong, why is the world always backwards it gives all the scumbags everything and the genuinely lovely people get pushed aside. i felt really pleased for trish (the disabled lady) she has shown that you dont have to be normal to have a normal life. and you get all these selfish idiots that make you think about what life is really about!

*rant over! * phew feel alot better now
 
I haven't watched the newest episode yet, but I remember talking to OH the other day about that I think I wouldn't be able to be a midwife because I would be too worried about the babies going home with all kinds of people I wouldn't think should have a baby... I worked as a home care assistant this summer, and even though I was just doing that for a short time I still think about the different people I was caring for, hoping they're doing well, worrying about the ones who were not, or whose family didn't take care of them properly etc. If I was a midwife I'd probably want to steal a bunch of the babies because I wouldn't think they'd have a good enough life. It sounds so horrible and judgemental, but I can't help but feel that way sometimes.. :( A side of midwifery I never thought about before!
 
This came up on my 'unread threads' section and to be honest Im quite saddened by some of these comments :(

I dont want a load of backlash for what Im about to say I just needed to get it off my chest!

I dont think the girl should be stereotyped as 'Jeremy Kyle trash' just becasue of the way she looks and her age??

Also, calling her selfish is a tad harsh dont you think because her internal hurt?? My sister had an awful experience with a smear once and phsycologically it messed her up...it made internals VERY painful for her when she was in labour...it does bloody hurt and to be fair shes 17 so she has prob never had a smear or anything!!

I just feel really sad when such a nice forum has a thread where people slag off other people they dont know and just assume things.

I have been on the receiving end of being stereotyped and people assuming Im something Im not and its not nice at all.... x
 
This came up on my 'unread threads' section and to be honest Im quite saddened by some of these comments :(

I dont want a load of backlash for what Im about to say I just needed to get it off my chest!

I dont think the girl should be stereotyped as 'Jeremy Kyle trash' just becasue of the way she looks and her age??

Also, calling her selfish is a tad harsh dont you think because her internal hurt?? My sister had an awful experience with a smear once and phsycologically it messed her up...it made internals VERY painful for her when she was in labour...it does bloody hurt and to be fair shes 17 so she has prob never had a smear or anything!!

I just feel really sad when such a nice forum has a thread where people slag off other people they dont know and just assume things.

I have been on the receiving end of being stereotyped and people assuming Im something Im not and its not nice at all.... x


I felt a bit like that as well Jaxx. yeah, dont get me wrong sometimes you watch these things and the person gets on your nerves a bit - like the one the other week who wouldnt listen to the MW. But we're always complaining on here how people are so quick to judge when you're preganant - big bump/little bump, young mum/old mum. EVen the dads on this show havent been immune -that poor young lad was scared - i know a lot of older dad's who, given the choice, wouldnt want to be in during the birth - they are only their cos their partner wants them to be - she left it up to him.

xxx
 
Jaxx i agree with some of your points. Perhaps sometimes we can all be a little quick to pass judgement. But i also think that forums are places to air opinions and whilst the majority of the time we're a happy, friendly bunch...there are also times when things are going to piss people off. Maybe labelling someone 'Jeremy Kyle trash' is a bit harsh but i still stand by my comment that she was selfish to refuse the internal examination. At the end of the day she could have been causing harm to her baby. The midwives say that they are absolutely not allowed to 'force' anyone to be examined because of their human rights, but what about the human rights of a baby who could be being hurt because of it's mother's stubborness? I know i'd do anything to make sure my baby was delivered safely, however much it hurt me.

I think we may be a little guilty of assuming some things. We're certainly not in a position to say whether or not she was fit to take care of the baby or presuming she was going to be on benefits either. But some things did speak for themselves in my opinion...her unco-operativeness (is that a word?!), the smoking reference, the constant swearing didn't exactly paint her in a good light. I'd be pretty mortified if i came across like that.

At the end of the day, she will have been paid a fee to appear on the show and by agreeing to share her life with people she kind of opens herself up to public opinion and judgement. Some people will agree with her attitude, others won't x
 
I understand that some people have a genuine phobia of internals or have had a bad experience with them and therefore find it difficult and that is perfectly acceptable I have had several over the past few years for different reasons and they really are uncomfortable, she came across as selfish to me personally because they were worried about the baby and it came across that she wasn't scared she just thought it was too painful ( im sure it can't be as bad of pushing a baby out of you). I have had a lot of hurtful comments made to me the past few months because if my baby comes on time I will be a teenage mum and I really resent being sterotyped as I will be going back to work won't be claiming any benefits and I did not get pregnant to get a council house like many people around where I live do (I don't have any problems with people claiming benifits btw) so I do get exactly where you were coming from about people being sterotyped. She just came across to me personally as though she thought having a baby was a joke. I am sorry if anything I said offended you though that was not my intention at all. Xx
 
This is exactly why they show such people, because it gets people talking and debating. The disabled last week provoked huge conversation between me and OH. I agree it seemed selfish to not have the internal but at 17 I expect we were all a bit selfish and didn't always think of the consequences of our actions.

When it actually comes to labour, none of us know exactly how we'll behave. I have a friend who is very quiet and polite but when she had her baby the word f**k was apparently used frequently!!! Usually directed at her OH! She was mortified ;-)
 
I think personally labelling her as selfish over the internal is a bit harsh. There is more than one person on here who has refused to have blood tests during their pregnancy cos of needle phobias (now im not remotely judging them - cos phobias are horrible things) but ALL of us will make decisions during our pregnancies, labours and after our children are born that others will see as for our own benefit rather than the babys.

Also in the "transition" stage of labour - many people are completely unaware of what they are doing. Shouting/swearing, Irrationality are all a normal part of labour. Our midwife was telling us at antenatal class about a women who decided half way through labour she was going home - needless to say she made it half way down the corrider before a contraction halted that - but she obviously wasnt thinking clearly. which is maybe what happened to that young girl.

xxx
 
I'm sorry, i don't mean to be harsh or judgemental. I just cannot see how someone could ignore the advice of medical proffessionals when it came to the health/safety of their baby. I have no idea how i'll behave during labour. It's my first baby so i don't know what to expect or how i'll cope with the pain. I hope i'll be able to exert at least some self control, but who knows. So i certainly don't blame her for acting up and being scared during labour. But if someone said to me 'you must do this or your baby could potentially be harmed' i wouldn't think twice. It just confuses me how someone could point blank refuse with that as an ultimatium.

I like to think i'm a fairly tolerable and broad minded person. I deal with people from all walks of life in my job so i know not to judge too easily. But as mentioned, these shows are designed to spark debate and everyone is going to have an opinion on them. Personally i just didn't think she came across very well. That's not to say she's a terrible person or a bad mother. x
 
I agree that i was frustrated at times when she wouldn't have an internal, but i reminded myself that she was only 17, extremely tired and out of it too!

Labour is not what you expect. No amount of classes or books etc can give you any incling on how it is. They are just words i'm afraid.

That being said its nothing to be afriad of.

I thought at the end she looked sweet and happy with her daughter. And as for the paternity test at the end , it could be down to anything such as doubt from the father .... when i was 17 i know roumors were rife amongst us young ones.

I try to never judge , you have no idea what a persons life is like without walking in their shoes!

Prob the story of young mums is being covered more because there is an increase , i think we have the highest rate in Europe. I only wish them all the best with their lives x
 
I never ever judge young mums as my mum had my brother at 18 and personally I hate to think that why people are saying about this girl they would have said about my own mum it makes me very angry my mum is a fantastic parent and to be honest her age hasn't affected us at all in fact she is my best friend and both my parents worked very hard for us to have a decent upbringing!

However the internal thing annoyed me I know someone who did this in labour with their first and having been through labour myself I do think it's fucking ridiculous, yes it's not nice but it HAS to be done sometimes especially I baby is in distress! But she is very young and clearly no one sat her down & told her exactly what to expect!

If your having a baby expect to have various hands in places you don't want them that's the long & short of it!
 
That Nathanial wasnt the dad my cousin knows them and turns out she cheated on him anyway while they were together. She annoyed me with the internal thing too, i mean she could have ended up causing baby serious harm. No one likes an internal but at the end of the day she put herself in that situation she should have some what expected it x
 
All through watching that segment all i could think was someone get the girl a bra that FLIPPIN FITS!!!!!
 
I think i missed the part in the programme last night about her going out to smoke, was just reading it in daily mail

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...year-old-labour-reveals-smoking-pregnant.html

I agree its not fair to judge as we dont know what the poor girl is like and shes only 17 after all but at the same time, shes agreed for this to be shown on TV so really people are going to be a bit shocked at her attitude.
 
Completely don't agree with anyone smoking when pregnant.
Saying that, I felt genuinely sorry for her, you could actually see the fear on her face. She's just a child herself :( x
 
ye me too cosmic! especially wanting to smoke while in labour:shock:

Cant imagine what it would be like going through labour when i was 17, i'm terrified now never mind back then:shock:
 
I think she was overwhelmed and in shock. I was 18 and too young to be having a baby, I was so scared.
I hope she gets the support she needs x
 
I'm just watching now and you can see the genuine fear in her face you can tell no one has told her what's to come!!! However i do think her behaviour was amped up for the camera xx
 
Oh my..I hope people didnt think from my post earlier that I was condoning smoking because Im sooooo not... I do not agree..

I just think that people are too quick to judge...

Who are we to say that we are better parents just because we do things differently!! That poor girl is 17, scared and in pain when having inernals which once you've had a bad one you can literally clam up and make it a whole load worse!! But I think this thread is unfair slagging her off for it :(

Theres another thread on here about the same programme and it saddens me to see people say people dont deserve to have children and they dont even know them :(

If we're gonna use JK in the whole situation one thing Ive heard him say is (about fathers) he may be a bad boyf etc but who is to say he is gonna be a bad parent!! Not until he is given the chance!!

And yes, I watch JK...and yes, I am proud hahahaha xx
 
I think it's hard to judge people when you don't actually know them. She may genuinely be a really nice girl who will do her best to look after her child, although I completely dont agree with her smoking, that's her choice and there are still plenty of mothers out there (both OLD and young!!!) who chose to keep up their addiction whilst pregnant. I also don't think it's fair to say that she's just like the girls out there that have babies and claim benefits. You can't judge a book by their cover and unless she actually says that she's claiming its unfair to presume that she is. This is why teen mums get such a bad reputation because no one takes the time to consider what if they are self sufficient and pay their way in society.

I can completely understand where she is coming from with not wanting an internal examination done. It would be lovely for internals to look as easy as what the older woman's did but the fact is that if you've had one bad experience it's a very sensitive area down there for it to all just be forgiven so easily and forgotten about. I had a bad experience with my first internal and not being allowed to adjust properly to what was going on which has resulted in me being genuinely terrified of them which has the following effect of them hurting 100 times more than they actually should. It's just something that I really cannot tolerate and I can honestly say that during my time in hospital, if they hadn't of got the spinal block in then I would never have been able to allow them to come anywhere near me in the downstairs region. A fear can make people become totally irrational and now when I look back I feel an idiot and can't quite understand what was so bad but at the time I was in hell and the stress and overtiredness didn't help me at all and the pain of having them was so intense that I just couldn't cope at all.
 

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