Older Mum to be.... (sorry a little long...)

[Two]

Hi there, I'm looking for a little advice please?

This is my first pregnancy and although I am really excited I am still very worried as I am 37 (just turned) and wondered if my age will cause me problems.

I have spoken to the midwife and she said that I was high risk due to my age and that my choice of hospital is limited as I will need to be where there can be medical intervention if needed. She also said that I was high risk for downs and spinabifida which didn't really make me feel great - although I haven't actually had any tests for those yet.

I suppose the midwife just has to make sure I am aware of what may happen. Is there anything else I should know? I couldn't ask too many questions becuase when I got in the room there was a student in with her, which normally wouldn't be a problem but she is the girlfriend of one of my b/f friends so it was a little awkward.

Sorry I am rambling now, but if anyone can offer any words of advice if you have been through or are going through your first pregnancy in your late 30's I would appreciate it.

Thanks
xx

 

[Tasha20]

Too be perfectly honest I really wouldnt worry! I think the main empthesis on age is to do with fertility.

If you want to have the tests done by all means have them, but my mum had it (came back high risk) and there was nothing wrong with him, now I know someone a little older than you who had the test and it came back low risk and she did have a bay with downs, though he couldnt of picked a better mom!

You know like all of us, take it easy, dont overdo it and enjoy your pregnancy

 

[Sherlock]

Hun have a few of these

I turned 37 a couple of months into my first pregnany and I now have a gorgeous 6 month old baby boy. Born at home, naturally and with no problems whatsover to him or me during pregnancy.

I was also overweight and was considered high risk for a homebirth due to larger baby, my age etc but still went ahead and had one. I felt great throughout pregnancy and had no qualms about having my son at home if I could.

FWIW I think your MW is scaring you a bit with all that. You should not be limited to certain hospitals due to your age. You should be able to make an informed choice and go where you choose based on that. Yes medical professionals can advise you, but they cannot make you deliver in a set hospital. You have a choice if you have a happy healthy prengnancy. A MW led unti should be as good an option as a consultant led unit. Even a homebirth if you should wish.

I don't have time to write much more but what I will say is if you are worried about Downs then look to having a Nuchal scan at around 12 weeks along with blood tests to see what your 'risk' factor is. I did and it was 1 in 3000 plus so I never bothered having tests or an amnio at 16 weeks.

Please drop me a PM and I'll be happy to help and support you in any way I can. I just have limited computer time atm due to house flood and not getting the laptop till later in the evening.

So long as you are happy, taking care of your body, eating well and are feeling positive about your pregnancy then take it one day at a time and don't let your MW pressure you into make your choices for having your baby now. You have months to choose yet.

I'll happily discuss more in PM about tests for abnormalities etc and age concerns with you. I'm more than happy to help so make use of me please

 

[rusks]

hun you at 37 are now average age as far as i can tell, im sure everything will be fine and welcome to the forum

 

[Two]

thanks for the replies guys, I am feeling a little easier now.

Sherlock I may take you up on your offer to contact you although I have limited access to my pc at home too due to shoulder problems which dictate how long I can sit on the pc. But thanks for the reassurance though. I am sure I will get more answers to the many questions I have some time along the way but the support from this board is great and is helping loads already.

Thanks guys you're great, I appreciate it.

xx

 

[maybebaby]

I can't help with the age thing but just wanted to say if you're uncomfortable with a student being present (generally or this one in particular) just mention it to your midwife & they'll arrange for them not to be there. I'm sure she'll understand if you know her.

Oh and big congratulations on the pregnancy!

 

[EllieBelle]

Ill be 35 a couple of months after my LO is born, and had such a great pregnancy so far........had much lower risk Down results than my much younger friends, and my body has coped very well so far with being pregnant.

In this day and age I dont think 37 is old to be a mum!

Enjoy your pregnancy

 

[HollyHobby]

just wanted to say hi and youre not alone!

i have my midwife appointment on tuesday so will see what she says about being 37.
I am hoping for a home birth as i dont see what complications there could be in giving birth because of my age.

 

[Tasha20]

Holly hun I dont know if you have seen this site

http://www.homebirth.org.uk/

But its very helpful and gives stories about women in late 30s who had no problems giving birth at home.

The stories are in the
"you can't have a homebirth because.." section.

I love the site its great

 

[HollyHobby]

thanks tasha

unless its twins theni dont see why i cant have home birth as of now.
I think twins i'd rather be in hospital for it, although my cat had 4 in a box no problems at home

 

[Tasha20]

Yeah I feel the same, I think id rather have all the drugs if it were twins

 

[Potbelijo]

Just wanted to pop in and say hi. I'm 36 and this is my first pregnancy too. I worried alot in the very early days. But as time ahs moved on I've become much more relaxed.

I had already decided before my first scan whether I wanted the amnio tests or not. My mid wife was very matter of fact when she told me of te possible problems. I don't think they are scare mongering. They need us to be prepared for the possibilities.

They automatically put us in the high risk bracket because of our age. It's jsut so that they can take any necessary precautions and look after us properly, should they need to.

Having said that, try to remember that even if you turn out to be at high risk the odds are still in favour of having a perfectly healthy baby. I know it's easy said but try to focus on the good and positive things.

((hugs)) congratulations hon I can honestly say you're in good company with the girlies here.


Oh and the only reason I've chosen a hospital birth is due to having Bell's Palsy and a few other minor health concerns. The consultant at the maternity unit was more than happy for me to chose what birth I wanted. Also it would cause my partner far too much stress to have a home birth, to be honest I doubt he's going to be able to cope with me screaming my head off


xxx

 

[saz-jay]

Hiya,
a slightly different angle, but i was born to an older mother, she was 39 when she had me (my dad was 44) and it was a healthy pregnancy. I was born around the due date and the birth was straightfoward (it was a hospital one, as it was 27 years ago now and i'm not sure they offered home births as much then) and everything turned out ok So heres to a happy and healthy pregnancy x

 

[Kittykins]

As far as I can work out, the recommendation is for a hospital birth if it's your first baby, regardless of age. I know that I briefly mentioned "home birth" to my GP and he said that he wouldn't be keen on that the first time... I changed my mind later, but more because I realised that I would spend the whole labour/birth worrying about whether the neighbours could hear

As for age, yes, statistically the risks increase as you get older, but we all know that anyway. The risks are still low, relatively speaking.

 

[HollyHobby]

i hope my m/w is ok with me saying i want it at home then as i only plan on having the one birth and i can get to hopital in under 10 minutes if needs be.
My mum wants me to go to hospital but i hate that place plus i dont want to be restricted and made to feel under their control.
In my fantasy i dont scream so never considered the neighbours

 

[maybebaby]

As far as I can work out, the recommendation is for a hospital birth if it's your first baby, regardless of age. I know that I briefly mentioned "home birth" to my GP and he said that he wouldn't be keen on that the first time... I changed my mind later, but more because I realised that I would spend the whole labour/birth worrying about whether the neighbours could hear

As for age, yes, statistically the risks increase as you get older, but we all know that anyway. The risks are still low, relatively speaking.

I had a fab homebirth with my son (first baby), and my midwife supported me 100% in the decision to have him at home. The trick is talk to a MW not a doctor!

And my neighbours didn't even realise he'd been born until a few days later when we saw them outside

 

[lindleytvr]

I'm also 37 with my first baby and none of the midwives here think it's a problem. In fact I was signed off from the consultant today so I can use the local midwife led unit as everything is going so well. This helps me as the midwife unit is 5 minutes away but the consultant unit is 1 hour and 30 minutes away (how can they expect a woman in labour to travel that far - that's Lincolnshire for you!)
Just a pointer - everyone can demand a home birth these days regardless of age or whether it's a first baby. If your midwife says no then ask another. I've seen 5 midwives since falling pregnant and 4 were great but one was 'average' so you'll inevitably get some who are more supportive than others. The Patient Choice Agenda means that they are not allowed to forbid home birth - only advise you of the positives and negatives.
My advice is to research having your child thoroughly - I was able to state my case effectively because the midwives have said I'd researched the pros and cons of the pregnancy and birth options. To my mind, it's my body and my baby so it's me who has the responsibilty to look at the options and make decisions. I use the midwives for advice but in the end it has to be my decision.
And age only seems to be a problem if you make it one - conceiving is the hardest bit for the over 35s!
Good Luck
Helen

 

[ejjie]

thanks tasha

unless its twins theni dont see why i cant have home birth as of now.
I think twins i'd rather be in hospital for it, although my cat had 4 in a box no problems at home