OH's Family!!!!

[katietateypot]

Me and Jay went over to Liverpool to have tea with his mum yesterday, i havn't seen her for about 8 weeks as i can't ever be bothered to travel the whole distance. (1 hour on 2 buses).
Anyway Jay had to pop out to pick up the tea and she started going on about how she knows we wont have anymore kiddies after having Ava as she doesn't think i'll be able to handle the pain!! I told her i think i'll be fine, i'm not worried about the pain or the birth at all anymore as its going to happen so no point in me panicking. She caried on saying she KNOWS we wont have anymore everytime i said "Oh no we will, it'll be ok" she would just say "NO"

WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS TO TELL ME HOW MANY CHILDREN ME AND JAY WILL DECIDE TO HAVE!!!!

With that we got saved by the door and i ended it saying no matter how bad it goes we will have more in a few years...cut her off by walking away

After tea we were sitting around in the living room and she asked about what pain relief i want. I told her gas + air and if i need it i will ask for an injection as i've been told i shouldn't have an epidural by the Dr.
She then thought it would be a great idea to tell me of her experience with pethidine and how horrible it was and it lasted too long...my mum had pethidine with my sister and she thought it was great so just ignored her there but still really peed me off!!
She also thought it was OK to say how she thought i wouldn't be able to cope even with any pain relief as i have a low pain threshhold i asked her why she thought that and she just said, "i just do"!

I then found out jay's nan had been saying the same thing so they have obviously been talking about me and how they basically think i wont be able to give birth without any problems.

All i have had from family and friends is full support and them saying they think i will be fine and whatever happens things will be Ok, i go and see Oh's family and they just make me feel like i've got myself into something i wont be able to handle here.
Who on earth would say things like that to someone who is pregnant at all!!
It's fine if they doubt me id rather they just kept it to themselves and never told me. I was soooo upset last night and jason couldn't see why so had to explain to him how it felt as he thought it wasn't that bad!!

Everything is ok today and he says he understand but i am still so annoyed with his mum for saying it to me to start with. She didn't want anymore kids after she had jay's older brother but jay accidently got in there but not everyone is the same. His nan has the attitude, if she can do it no one else can or if you have something she is always worse off!!

Sorry for the long pointless thread but had to vent!

katie xx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

That would have really upset me, people making judgements on your abilities as a woman like that!

I would have laughed it off at the time but i would have been really quite peeved and determine to prove them wrong!

Loads of people have told me i will 'need' pain relief in labour, i always tell them i wont have much option at home so they will be sadly mistaken

amazing how when your pregnant people feel they know your body better than you do - really winds me up!

 

[katietateypot]

You know if she was just telling me about her experience i wouldn't mind at all but it was like she was telling me what i will be able to cope with and what we will do in the future.

She's not the one who will be giving birth I AM so surely its my choice

it is really annoying but i think to save myself geting wound up i'm best just staying away

 

[evie_smith]

Oh dear that would have really peed me off so I can totally see where your coming from my mil asked me
if I will have the epidural again and I was like I dunno I'm
not in labour yet if I need it or want it I will ask for it then lol! So yea I would just ignoor them Hun at the end of the day it don't matter what they think as long as your happy x

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

You know if she was just telling me about her experience i wouldn't mind at all but it was like she was telling me what i will be able to cope with and what we will do in the future.

She's not the one who will be giving birth I AM so surely its my choice

it is really annoying but i think to save myself geting wound up i'm best just staying away

Your a better woman than I darlin, i think i would have exploded!

it is totally your choice, you decide what/when/where and how - I am just shocked they tried to scare you like that! its actually quite cruel when you think about it...

 

[Princess81]

why is it that in-laws have this practiced skill of being completely annoying and inapropriate?

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Some MILs are complete witches! I vow never to be one of them if I have a boy - chin up, ignore her and smile, dont give her the power of upsetting you - you will have a beautiful baby at the end of it, she is probably jealous xxx

 

[keljordan]

I agree with everyone ^^^ don't let her her
get to you Hun, just do what you want to do and they will end up having to eat their own words anyway!! Why are mil's such pain in the A holes!??!! xx

 

[bidsy]

I would have been peeved about that, my mil decided to say about how common miscarriage is when its your first which had made ne worry even more, she went on to list the ppl she knew that had. Then said but at least you know it works. Yeh thanks for that!

 

[MrsR]

That's so awful katie! The last thing a first time pregnant woman needs to hear is how she won't cope in labour! What a stupid thing to say!
Maybe you should sell her on eBay for her future seeing powers since she 'knows' you won't have any more children! Idiot!
Many women whilst in labour vow no more children and the moment baby is put on them they change their mind! I honestly can't remember just how painful labour was or very much afterwards as all I remember is DD! Lol-think I'm in for a shock! He he x
you will be fine! Listen to the supportive people, fill your head with poditiveness and prove the doubters wrong!

 

[MrsR]

Positiveness not poditiveness-stupid iPhone!

 

[katietateypot]

just wanted to say thank you for all the replies

Bidsy your mil sounds horrible aswell...similar to mine Can't believe some people have the nerve to say things like this.

 

[Yodabo]

Why do mil's always stick their noses in when it's not wanted?! Really really gets on my nerves that they just can't butt out.

She's just jealous that your gonna do better than her than she did in labour!

 

[klam]

do u know i think mother in laws do this deliberatley knowing ful well they r p'ing u off and upsetting u but theres not much u can do about it! no1 knows if ull cope with no problems but we know 1 thing ull get the baby out u 1 way or another and at the end of the day it doesnt matter how she arrives as long as ur both ok!! when that baby arrives ull have lots of comeback girl!! just wait for the day u can laugh in her face becos u did it and ur proud! xxx

 

[titch]

Good God what an awful way to talk to a pregnant woman! dont worry hun, you're gonna do fab. It doesnt matter how your baby arrives in the end, youre going to be just fine and you'l have your healthy baby in your arms, then you'll be a fab mummy! And you'll be able to be doubly proud of yourself cos you'll be able to shove it in her face. Of COURSE you can give birth, youre a woman. Things are very different now to when your MIL gave birth anyway, so your experience will be nothing like hers.

 

[Zazu]

How does she know what your pain threshold is?!!!!! what a strange thing to say. Even if labour is really bad, surely what you get at the end makes it all worth it? I wouldnt have been able to keep my mouth shut! x

 

[pinga]

Sounds like the silly woman is trying to put her own fears and bad experiences off on you!!!!

You will be FINE!!!! How many times have women done this!!

How on earth can she know what you can handle! I sure as hell didn't know how I would cope when I had DS. You are always stronger than you think anyway! I just had gas as I was too dilated for anything else. I didn't want any pethadine. I was fine - I actually said to DH right afterwards - I could do that again (not immediately of course)...

So ignore the silly woman and her silly fears!!!!!