oh what have i done :s

[Jones]

sometimes i think this...what the hell have i got myself into. im a nurse...everything was going awsum, saving money, good career, freedom...started dating a guy i knew from school...fell pregnant...now got a baby and engaged...dont get me wrong im happy... but here are a few points im not happy about
1) i wish i clicked with his mum- i dont , i dont trust her with my baby......
2) i wish he earnt as much as me..hes not career orientated
3) i was looking through ghis phone :s i never do..but sumthing told me to...and hed tried ringing an ex for a catch up and hes changed his facebook password so cnt log into his account..when we were first together the ex and him had a flirtacious wall post..wasnt impressed and she gave her number,, i said they were exes and there was no reason for them to av phone contact aswell.......to find hes tried ringin her is gutting. what do u think?

xx

 

[Squeakz]

Hey hun, thought I'd give you a bump and my thoughts!! Tell me to bugger off if ness!!! Sorry you're feeling fuzzy about it atm!! What is about his mum that means you haven't 'clicked'??? What does he do for work or what does he want to do?? I'd be absolutely gutted if my oh started getting all friendly with his ex behind my back.....maybe he didn't think about it? Have you mentioned it to him??? Sorry I know it sounds silly but have you talked to him about it? How long have you felt this way?? Sorry want to offer advice but want to know 'more' if its ok?? X

 

[Maria1977]

Hey Jones hope you don't mind me barging in, but just thought I'd say if it was my OH getting in touch with his ex, without even mentioning it to me I'd defo be bothered by it. It's probably nothing to even worry about coz guys seem to think that they kind of need to keep that sort of thing secret because we'd go nuts they were talking to an ex, whereas yes we'd be bothered by it, but really we're more bothered by the deceit and that that gives the impression there's something to hide... they just don't get it lol

As for the MIL, well you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family! I don't know what she's like obviously but at the end of the day trust your gut and if you don't want her looking after your LO then I'd go with that instinct.

Neither me or my partner are career orientated, we both wish there was something we would love to do with our lives but our jobs are just that, jobs to get money to pay for the roof over our heads (personally I'd love to work in a clothes shop handling clothes all day - see no ambition lol)

Sorry, not really got any advice though hun xxxxxx

 

[Jones]

thanks guys for replying.. he works as a courier, delivering parts , he had some debt b4 we got together which thankfully hes paid off now. ive always bn gwd with my money , wheereas hes flaunted his on his hobbies.....but is that really wrong? i dont know. his mother in law....ok everytime i pass baby to her, the baby cries in stead of giving her bck she tries to calm her herself which doesnt work! and i went over there after a few weeks giving birth ( had really bad labour tear/ and cut aswell and bad hip etc u know the problems lol and walked over manhole drain outside their house and fell through it...it was broken, had been for months...and she didnt even ask if i was ok, all she said was " paul fell through it last week paul (hubby) fell through it" i mean what???? it culda bn the baby and me falling through it. it was like that for months after her other son walked over it and it broke.i was fuming. i dont want my baby staying at such a irresponsible household!.......
and the ex.....hmmm they private message each other on facebook and to be honest he only talks about how happy he is sooo shuldnt really be worried. like you said its the deceit........xxx

 

[Maria1977]

Sounds like the MIL needs a bit of humanity and common sense and I would be wary of my LO being around someone I wasn't comfortable with, whether they are family or not!

I think you OH just sounds like a typical bloke, probably thinks you'll go nuts to keeps it a secret when really, although you don't like it you'd accept it, but his decision to keep it secret just makes it look like there's something to hide... that really is a typical bloke thing to do lol, they really don't get women at all lol

There isn't anything wrong with spending money on hobbies imo, me and OH keep our finances seperate apart from bills and shopping and necessities for LO obviously and we each do what we want with our own money after that. if something comes up like vet bills or car repair we both have to chip in obvioiusly, but we're not financially 100% responsible for each other and we're happy like that. He buys himself quite a bit and it don't bother me, I used to (still do a bit) but mostly I like buying my baby clothes, he has more than me now lol

No couple is going to completely be compatible in every way, but that's good... keeps you both on your toes lol

xxxxxx