OH seems a bit 'none plussed'

[Dragonfly Fi]

Liam doesnt seem bothered by the stillbirth at all. Not one tiny bar

I had to remind him whilst on the phone to his mother, to actually even mention the fact that the baby was being cremated on Thursday. When he did so he didnt even mention the time it was happening and then moved swiftly on to speaking about how well he was getting on at college and that the course was really easy

Its literally like it means nothing to him, i spoke to him about getting a dragonfly tattoo (different to mine though) to mark what had happened and he pretty much told me that his dad dying had been much worse for him because he didnt know the baby

Just feel like its lost upon him, just how shite it was/is

 

[kanga86]

i think the guys have an easier time distancing themselves for everything as it hasn't happened to their body, if that make sense. I still get my down days and i mc'ed 3 and a half months ago, but i feel as though my oh has completely forgot what went on over the summer.

Im sure deep down they have their own emotions and thoughts about it all, and their attempt at staying strong for us makes us feel as though they don't care! I don't even think i even saw my oh cry about it. stay strong hunny, thinking of u xxx

 

[Dragonfly Fi]

He has just walked down the road for coffee and cakes for me... He is so lovely really I shouldnt be hard on him.... It just seems so strange that it is so irrelevant to him, I suppose that just shows how well I am coping!

 

[EllieC]

oh hun! big hugs. I felt exactly like this when we lost our LO in 2009, my world fell apart and whilst my DH was upset to begin with it seemed that he got over it really quickly but he didnt really, Like Kanga said, men distance them selves and it is different for them because they dont have the baby growing in them, part of them, but believe me it doesnt not effect them- this became really apparent when we lost our son in april. There are times i just want to shake my DH because he grieves differently to me and that can be really hard. there is this website, I go on ocacsion to there meetings but we found there info really helpful. littlefootprints.org.uk there is a bit on there for advice to fathers written by a man, as a woman its also very helpful to help understand those strange beings!!!! There are other areas in the info - immediate and later sections that offer helpful advice. Someone said some intresting things to me which i found helpful when is was/am feeling really lonely in my grief. 1. Grief is a very lonely journey only you grieve the way you do there is no right or wrong way but it is hard to accept any other way is right but your own. 2. Grief/love is not measured in the amount of tears you shead.

Men are funny beings, just because he doesnt seem like he is grieving doesnt mean he isnt, men seem to like to 'get on with life'. I learnt a really hard way the 1st time with my DH, but this last 6 months has been the hardest time of our lives but we have understood each other more and that has made things easier relationship wise.

Sorry to go on, hope this helps, PM me anytime if you want to chat and sending you huge hugs.x