OH has gone so cold.

[flopsybunny]

On for another whinge. I just don't know what is going on at the moment. My OH has gone so cold recently. He is unaffectionate, complains if I ask for a hug, criticises everything I do, and snaps at me all the time. I amtrying to do things right, but it never seems good enough.

Xx

 

[snr1982]

Think you need to try and have a chat with him. Maybe he is worried about something and is just taking it out on the person cloest to him - you? I often do that with my OH coz I'm not very good when it comes to speaking about stuff, so rather than tell him I just give him crap over stupid things.

 

[Merfairy]

Oh Chick, try and talk with him and see if you have any luck... maybe he worried about something; he'll probably come round x

 

[flopsybunny]

I would try to talk to him, but he really isn't the talking type. Apparently it is nagging and I am being a typical woman if I do that.

Xx

 

[flopsybunny]

Perhaps I should just play him at his own game? See how much he likes it!

Xx

 

[nadine]

Hooooo ive had this? well simlar

probably very different as ive only been with my partner 12 months then fell pregnant (not ideal) but at mo we just seem so distant!

he's not very understanding/dont help out or think about me getting tired with all i do/ dont cuddle/ not in to talking, as a bit like you, most times it ends in bickering (we both head strong) its gotten that bad that we were both meant to be moving in together (hes at his mums an i av mi own gaff) in a rented apartment getting ready to be that conventinal family lol, but i got cold feel and called it off lost 140 pound depo but i just cant do it at mo, i feel every time i try an talk to him its going to be a bicker an he just wont look at anything from my point of view.............

dont get me wrong hes a top notch guy an i love him to bits as he dose me but i just think with us becaouse things have happen 100mph we got cought up in it, i just think if we slow it down an take some presure of it will get better as it has already

i hope you sort it out and its prob just an very emotinal time for him with worries and lets face it some fellas dont av a clue how hard it can be for us woman with hormones and just genral preggo symptoms, im sure things will be fine hunni x x x

 

[nadine]

ho and heres an example of what me an my partner are like only just happen this morning, -

i have a 2 year old lil lad an he has a 3 year old little girl (lad lives with me obv but lil girl lives with her mum his ex), but our parenting skills are very very different for example -

my lil lad was playin up getting ready this morning for play group as they do, so i simply said if you dont get ready hun, then im going to turn cbbees of? he didnt listen so of it went and then he came running i got him ready an put it bk on, he then wouldnt come down stairs so to this i said right ill go with out you, so i turn every thing of and went to wards the door to wich he come an got his coat on ect - in my eyes job done no tears im not stressed hes not stressed b4 play group

my partners way would of to be just get him ready an thats with out smaking (we dont do that) but just a stern voice an no messing about attitude - just get him dress/coat on pick him up put him in car etc but as most lil kids do at 2 he would of just kicked off tears / paddy / and an very upset taking just as long plus i would be stressed and he would be stressed b4 play group

on way to work in car my OH starts sayin i need to be more stronger with him or stern, so i said my point saying there is nothing wrong with his ways if it works for him and some time i will use no messing in the right situations but i didnt think that was the right situation to do that in, he couldnt see it an then gose on sayin im going to av my hands full with a baby an a toddler that dont listen, to wich i get annoyed at and also said well ur lil girl who is exact 1 year older then remy still miss behaves an trys it on as all kids at that age do as its part an parcel of learning hahaah

we just leave it an agree to diss agree but its just hard work! and that is with most thing haha just for the record what do u guys think regards the above am i soft an going bonkers or doing things right?? x

 

[flopsybunny]

Sounds right to me. He is getting a consequence for not doing as he should but it is a reasonable punishment not a physical one. As long as they understand why they are being punished. That's what was good about my upbringing. I was never smacked or even yelled at. I just had consequences such as not being allowed tv or not having a particular treat but it was always explained to me. So I knew if I didn't tidy my room, I would not be allowed to go out to ride the horse. Etc

Xx

 

[nadine]

Sounds right to me. He is getting a consequence for not doing as he should but it is a reasonable punishment not a physical one. As long as they understand why they are being punished. That's what was good about my upbringing. I was never smacked or even yelled at. I just had consequences such as not being allowed tv or not having a particular treat but it was always explained to me. So I knew if I didn't tidy my room, I would not be allowed to go out to ride the horse. Etc

Xx

this is my way of thinking...............i like to try and learn my son that if he dont do right then there will be a consequence with out actually getting stressed an avin to fight with him,

i do understand to a point my partners way and if it works for him that is great but its not for me! some times say if we are shopping and my son starts coz he cant av sweets ect then i will just pick him up an put him in car with out gettin stressed an wait till he has calmed down (can take 20 mins) then explain why he is there (for not listening) then when calm again go bk in, its a long process

i think my partner says his kids respect him n know when to stop as they just know with the tone of his voice etc coz he takes no nonsence, both ways i suppose have the same out come but i just prefere my way but my dear OH thinks its far to soft n it just winds me up that instead of thinking like me well there is no wrong way an if she like to do it that way GREAT he gets all opinionated an starts to bicker with me,

as well coz this is his 4th child an my second he thinks he just knows best wich is crud

rant over, this is pretty much whats hes like with every thing pmsl

another example, my mums really ill on an off (hes never seen her at her worst) a few months ago he started sayin i was to soft with my mum and i should burden my self with all her problem ect ect so i simply explained, my mum has nearly died on me twice n im very close to her, im not a mug but i know when my mum needs me weather it be right in your eyes or not ill be there 110% to which he claimed was crap an my mum shouldnt be the way she is n so needy on me, anyway we agreed to dis agree as we always do pmsl,
amonth ago or so he my mum was rushed in hozzy and was very sick, he got to see this for him self an couldnt believe his eyes! anyway a day or two later he come to me an appologyesd sayin he ws so sorry for the not understanding an being more supportive at the time an he know now what i mean and why i am like i am,

its just with every ting its like he cant just trust me as to what i am saying i cant put it in to words what he lacks but it is very very annoying n im hopin will sort its self out with time

sorry for hijacking your post lol an for long reply