Oh God, Promotion at Work do I Keep Trying?

[DoulaJen]

So today I was told I am being given a role with more responsibility.
I have been pushing for it for about 6 months. So I am really pleased.......
But,
as I was leaving my meeting with my manager he said "Now DONT make me regret this"
I thought to myself, if I turn around in 3 months time and announce I'm pregnant my name will be muck as he has fought hard to get me this job.
Also the bonus is going to double and we could be so much more financially secure for my two boys.
But...
I can't get the image of my 3rd baby out of my head.
I can't help feeling if I do not do this now... I never will again.
I know you ladies are all probably thinking this is selfish of me and I sound like a fool but I am so confused and could do with your advice/support.

I'm scared x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I've just stopped ttc for this reason hun. Too many big opportunities coming my way. What does your heart want to do? x


Sent from my knackered iPhone

 

[blondy13]

If you don't mind me asking hun how old are you? If you still have time, then you could wait 3 months, then start trying, as even if you caught straight away you wouldn't need to tell them till 3 months, by which time you'd have been doing the new job for 6 months and more than proved yourself. I think you can do both xxx

 

[DoulaJen]

I've just stopped ttc for this reason hun. Too many big opportunities coming my way. What does your heart want to do? x


Sent from my knackered iPhone

Up until I have always followed my heart and today it's saying...
Let NATURE decide.
Maybe relax with the cycles etc and if it happens it happens.
I adore my job and my manager is fantastic... But at the end of the day, who has your back? Nobody except your family and yourself.

Thank you Cosmic!!
x

 

[cosmicgirl]

No problem xxx


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[DoulaJen]

If you don't mind me asking hun how old are you? If you still have time, then you could wait 3 months, then start trying, as even if you caught straight away you wouldn't need to tell them till 3 months, by which time you'd have been doing the new job for 6 months and more than proved yourself. I think you can do both xxx

I'm 26 hun.
I have two boys already and up until a month ago was quite content. But my OH has always wanted another and I have really become obsessive over the idea, I think mainly because our relationship has become even stronger recently.
I am also a very impulsive person. I let my heart lead and when she makes her mind up there is very little chance of changing it! lol

I am just scared my manager would lose a lot of faith in me and that when I return to work I will struggle to make my mark again as so far there has not been a single woman returning from maternity leave who has gone back to her previous role (exactly- it's hard to explain).

x

 

[DoulaJen]

bump

 

[cosmicgirl]

Let mother nature decide xx


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[Dragonfly Fi]

Wait a year, your young enough too start ttc in nine months x that my advice

 

[mummywanabe]

It seems like your boss is putting you under a lot of pressure, for years ive worked for my career, i have no children i put off getting married until i was settled in my job but its only now i wish maybe id had children sooner. The career goals i used to have, have now changed a lot, my priorities have changed (im a nurse btw) although 26 is still young enough if you wanted to wait a little bit, how old are your boys?

 

[Jayjay027]

I'd say wait 9 months to a year and start trying again, that way you will have made your mark in your new role. Either that or let nature take its course. Your boss can't fire or demote you for getting pregnant.

X

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[itisbabytime]

considering your age and that you already have been able to get ptregnant and deliver healthy babies there is no harm in waiting. As JayJay says you cannot be penalised or demotes or hae your pay cut for being pregnant or going on matrnity leave. I think your bosses comments of "dont let me down" was totally irresponsible and totally inappropropriate.

 

[DoulaJen]

Thank you so much for the advice ladies....
Today has been either the first day of some serious AF symptoms or... Nature has indeed taken her course!!!
Sore boobs
Tingly Nipples
Cramping
Strong Peepee
Feeling a bit spaced out
and my tummy def feels bloated.
3 days till I am gonna test.... Eeeeekk!!

 

[Bellarina]

hey hun, how long have you been ttc if you dont mind me asking?

By law, when you return to work after being on Ordinary Maternity Leave (the first 26 weeks of your Statutory Maternity Leave), when you return, you have a right to the same job and the same terms and conditions as if you hadn’t been away.
This also applies when you come back after Additional Maternity Leave (the last 26 weeks of your Statutory Maternity Leave). However, if your employer can show it is not reasonably practical to return to your original job (eg because the job no longer exists) you do not have the same right but you must be offered alternative work with terms and conditions as if you hadn’t been away, e.g. same pay and holidays etc

I really hope mother nature takes the initiative and makes the decision for you xxxx

 

[DoulaJen]

hey hun, how long have you been ttc if you dont mind me asking?

By law, when you return to work after being on Ordinary Maternity Leave (the first 26 weeks of your Statutory Maternity Leave), when you return, you have a right to the same job and the same terms and conditions as if you hadn’t been away.
This also applies when you come back after Additional Maternity Leave (the last 26 weeks of your Statutory Maternity Leave). However, if your employer can show it is not reasonably practical to return to your original job (eg because the job no longer exists) you do not have the same right but you must be offered alternative work with terms and conditions as if you hadn’t been away, e.g. same pay and holidays etc

I really hope mother nature takes the initiative and makes the decision for you xxxx

This is our first month hun.
Last AF was Oct 14th and since then we have bd'd 3 times x

 

[LouiseB]

I agree with the others - give it about a year in the new roles and then ttc again.

I wouldn't risk the promotion considering how amazing it sounds

 

[Bellarina]

well i really hope everything works out for the best hun.
if you really want to get ur promotion ur still young so could ttc later on when youve achieved ur career goals but dont let your boss's wording make ur decision for you as like i said above they cannot by law penalise you.

whenever i have a dillema i always consider whether il be thinking "what if" in the future...so e.g. say u carry on ttc and dont do ur promotion, do you think ul be thinking "what if id done my promotion" in 10 years time.....and likewise if you take the promotion and dont ttc will you look back and think what if?
thats how i look at things anyway.

xxxxx

 

[DoulaJen]

well i really hope everything works out for the best hun.
if you really want to get ur promotion ur still young so could ttc later on when youve achieved ur career goals but dont let your boss's wording make ur decision for you as like i said above they cannot by law penalise you.

whenever i have a dillema i always consider whether il be thinking "what if" in the future...so e.g. say u carry on ttc and dont do ur promotion, do you think ul be thinking "what if id done my promotion" in 10 years time.....and likewise if you take the promotion and dont ttc will you look back and think what if?
thats how i look at things anyway.

xxxxx

Wow thats actually brilliant advice.
I know the strongest what if will be if we had just kept TTC and thats what my heart wants.
I think my mind is made up to let nature take its course, take the promotion and if I get my BFP I can return to work when I'm ready.
Yes I will have 3 kids but I have got this far with 2!
It will give me time to plan my Birth classes and consider my Doula duties too. Maybe in time that might be what i want to focus on.

xx

 

[Bellarina]

glad iv helped

if i were you id do both lol (i know u wanted an answer for one or the other so im just throwing something new into the mix lol)

Id keep ttc and take the promotion lol as they cant do anything to you if you do get pg and if ttc is really important to you then why have to make a decision?

at the end of the day tho ur the only one who can decide but its nice to hear other peoples suggestions isnt it xxxx