Obese and panicking

[Paleandsquishy]

I'm really fat. Not like can't walk sort of fat but very big. I've been trying to lose weight as we've been trying. Now I'm pregnant and I'm terrified that I'll lose the baby or that people are going to be cruel about my weight and my decision to have a child. I didn't expect to fall pregnant so soon and figured I would've lost a bit more weight.

I'm really scared and very emotional (my stepdad might pass away soon so I'm not feeling great) and I'm worried I've done the wrong thing

 

[Sparrow]

I know how you feel about your weight, I used to be obese and then I joined weight watcher, I got down to a healthy weight about a year ago but since then I've put quite a lot back on. I intended to diet whilst we were ttc because I'm 32 and I didn't expect it to happen quickly, but I've fallen pregnant in the first month. Now I'm worried I won't actually look pregnant until I'm like 7 months and in the meantime people will think I'm just carrying most of my fat around my middle. I've been reading about weight gain during pregnancy and if you're overweight they dont recommend you put on too much, but you shouldn't limit your calories and it's important you eat a healthy balanced diet. If you don't already do a lot of exercise they don't recommend you take up anything strenuous. So I've joined a gym with a swimming pool and I intend on swimming 2-3 times a week to mange my weight and build some fitness for the birth, I've also bought a pregnancy yoga DVD which is quite gentle but should hopefully help me build some strength for the birth. Perhaps you could do something similar, or take up walking xxx

 

[Nemi]

Hi,

First of all I would say try to relax (easier said than done I know)

I have heard loads of stories about people losing weight while pregnant so I would say it is totally possible and I'm sure your doctor can give you some advice on what to do if you want to.

Personally I think in your situation, I would not focus on weight at all. Instead I would focus on what I feed my baby, make sure you are eating healthy food, and lots of fruit and veg. I have been reading a great book called 'Your pregnancy nutrition guide' by Henrietta Norton.

I would also try to do some gentle exercise every day, such as walking, swimming or yoga.

 

[candymycandy]

Yep as nemi says try and focus on healthy eating and gentle exercise. Have you spoken to your MW yet? They will usually be able to refer you for some help to monitor you throughout the pregnancy. I am overweight and in my first pg I only put on the weight of the baby etc, and weighed less post birth than before. Try not to worry too much, obviously in an ideal world you'd (and me!) would be at your goal weight but as this isn't the case try to refocus on looking after yourself now and the baby. Really sorry to hear about your stepdad too, you'll feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster as it is so please don't beat yourself up over this xx

 

[megsmeadow]

Congratulations!! I was about 15 stone with my first three, and worked hard using slimming world to get to 11 stone before I got pregnant this time. We had a 2nd trimester loss between our two boys and I asked the consultant if it could possibly be weight related to which she gave a definite no!
I have asked the consultant and midwife this time if I can stick (loosely) to slimming world and they were both in support of that if it helps me maintain a healthy weight. It's the only plan backed by midwives!
I've also know friends much heavier than me, go through a whole pregnancy, and not shown at all but had very healthy babies.
I'd just focus on looking after yourself and baby. There will be times where all you want it a bit of chocolate or a packet of Crisps, and you should allow yourself to have treats (unless of course you have or develop gestational diabetes).
Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy!!

 

[Pinkz]

Hi. Although I did end up miscarrying, not one person said anything about my weight during the short pregnancy or miscarriage. I'm in the obese range. I've tried and been doing well losing weight but I've put on about half a stone since I miscarried. Now I'm trying again so back trying to lose weight again.

Hopefully you won't have any problems or any horrible people picking on you. I know lots of people my size or bigger who've had multiple healthy babies so just be kind to yourself! Enjoy this time and good luck

 

[Paleandsquishy]

Aww, thank you so much for your replies everyone. I told my mum, stepdad and dad today and they were all so excited that I feel a bit better. I will keep exercising and eating well (aside from the odd treat) and try my best! Xxx

 

[TORino]

Congratulations lovely.

I wouldn't worry unduly about it. You'll have a different pathway to other pregnant women who don't have the weight issue and might find that the medical professionals say things to you which can be upsetting if you're not expecting it. A friend of mine who is obese took it really badly the fact that she had lots of reference to her weight at MW appointments and was high risk because of it. But try and see it as they are looking after you and your baby. It doesn't follow that there will always be something wrong.

 

[Belfa]

Please don't worry! You see all shapes and sizes at baby classes and then you realise that they can come in to the world in a variety of different ways from a variety of parents of different shapes, sizes and backgrounds!

I put on 2 stone with my first baby and it's still with me now I'm expecting my second - oops!! x

 

[Blueclass]

Hi ya congrats on ypur pregnancy. Try not to worry to much as thats no good for your baby. You cpuld join slimming world they do a pregnancy eating plan. Also they say the bigger ypu are the less you put on. Im larger than my friend who is very slim. She put on over 5stone i put on just over two amd lost it super fast.

 

[Paleandsquishy]

Thanks ladies. The dr I ended up seeing was really nice and my friend came with me for moral support (and she coaches her 3 year old daughter to say congratulations when she saw me which was soooooo cute!) so I'm feeling much better ^_^ xxx

 

[Lander]

I was at my biggest ever when I feel pregnant with DS. I was 107kg or just over 16st at booking (still weigh that now and he's one and I'm almost eight weeks with no.2) and I was worried I'd not look pregnant but even by 16 weeks I did. He ended up almost 10lb (DH and I are both also tall and broad) so I had a really massive obvious bump!! Xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I fall into obese category. BMI of 33 at booking.

Only thing I've had due to weight is automatic GTT at 28w. Had GTT with second pregnancy (had something flag up in urine as opposed to having a high BMI)

As with other pregnancies I'm community MW led and can use birthing centre. I was even offered a home birth

X

 

[Blank_Page]

I believe NHS put you on slimming world for free if your BMI is considered too high? My friend had a BMI of 39 in her 3rd pregnancy. She was ideal weight after 1st and then just continued to put on weight between each baby. All of her kids are perfectly healthy. The only complications she had were to do with her contracting a flu strain, nothing weight related. I've had HG, which I wouldn't wish on anyone but I have lost over 2.5st through the sickness. You might find your body reacts strongly and you will lose a lot if morning sickness is bad. Focus on what you can do now, eating better/well, make the most of being able to exercise before the exhaustion sets in. Don't just worry away about it, just work on being the best baby vessel you can be from now on

 

[AndBabyMakes5]

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm classes as obese (BM1 38) and I was with my first and second pregnancies too. Normal pregnancies, normal labour and natural delivery and normal weight babies... don't worry

 

[loopylucy1990]

im classed as obese, o lost twins in may due to missed miscarriage and i kept asking the nurses is it my fault is it my weight please be honest she told me no not at all, it was due to twins and they never grew!! nothing is my fault she said. im prgenant again now and yes terriefied of mmc again just because of last time but not ,my weight hun, congratulations xx

 

[mrs_cookie]

I'm obese (bmi 35),first pregnancy bmi was same and I was consultant led but no one ever made a big deal about my size. I actually lost weight during pregnancy from sickness and ended up lighter at 9 months than at the start! Had normal pregnancy and delivery etc. This time I'm starting from same point and just had my booking appt and she just said bmi is a little higher than they like but dont worry about it and no need for consultant as all was well last time so wasn't a big deal at all. Congratulations! Xx

 

[treetrunks]

Absolutely just enjoy your pregnancy, make positive efforts to increase fruit and veg and do some light exercise.
We are all different sizes and it isn't just about what we eat, genes are a factor etc etc.
Slimming world is great im getting back on it to see if it makes any difference xxx
Happy and healthy 9 months to you xxx

 

[Lime76]

Being overweight isn't so bad. Enjoy the pregnancy and just eat what you like. If you accept your body as it is, the weight loss will come automatically afterwards.

I once weighed over 120 kg and it didn't help any diet. It was only when I finally accepted my body as it was and did not follow a diet that I finally succeeded. A year later, I was 20 klio less. Today I only weigh 65 kg. And if I gain weight again, I don't care.

 

[linxminx21]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm not pregnant yet, I'm waiting for treatment on my cervix first but then I want to try again. I'm going to start trying to slowly lose weight now as my bmi is 34 and I had high BP last time and I wasn't even this big 6 years ago!
I feel awful and think people will think I'm irresponsible getting pregnant this fat knowing I had high bmi.
But everyone else is right. Eat better and move a little more and the weight will come off slowly and safely.
That needs to be your main concern atm... Everything you do needs to be safe foe your little baby so not too much too quick! You can lose weight once you've had the baby and enjoying watching them grow as you shrink.
We shouldn't feel fat shamed but that's the society we live in km afraid
Sending you lots of love x x