Nursery twice a week at 8 months - would you?

[Sherlock]

I am a SAHM now. I plan to go self employed probably and do some website stuff and remain at home caring for Galen and if second baby comes along then

However, Galen is, to say the very least, an alert, inquisitive, bright very active child. Has been since very young. The past few weeks all he has wanted to do is walk. As he isn't quite yet able to walk unaided this means one of us (usually me) has to walk round holding hands so he can totter round. He hardly sleeps in the day and night time is atm feeding 2-3 times overnight. Daytime breastfeeds are very short and infrequent as he is just too busy being busy to have time to feed

Today we went to the HV clinic and saw our HV. She was (and this is a mum of 4 who has been a nurse, MW and now HV) gobsmacked at how active, strong and determind LO is for his age. We had a talk and she suggested trying him in nursery twice a week to a) give me a break and b) as it would give him a total change of scene. I must admit I looked longingly at the other babies around his age and older who were happy to sit with their Mums on the playmats and not attempt to move. Playgroups and coffee mornings are supposed to give me a chance to interact and meet other Mums also but I don't get a chance as Galen is constantly on the go and so any chance of sitting for a natter is out the window.

So she nipped next door and asked if I could go see the nursery then and there. Mentioned about having some funding to help due to my PND, health problems etc and she would be happy to apply for it for me to help cover some of the costs as I am not working etc.

Nuersery was great. Noisy but the under 2's bit had a ratio of 1-3 and only 9 children at any time. Cots in a quiet room for naps, a reading room with a big sofa, a play area, a quiet room and a place for meals. Happy to go with any requests etc and follow my BLW for meals and so on. One of the staff had him for 15 minutes while I had the tour and he had her running around with him, trying to grab all the hanging stuff and showing her how strong he is All three staff who saw him for the half an hour we were there commented on how alert he is and how strong

Longish story a bit less long - He can start from next week pretty much if we wanted him to

OH and I had a quick chat over lunch. He's all for it as he is worried about my PND coming back and that I am coping with Galen for 12 hours a day and then overnight feeds etc also. And there seems to be no let up. OH has him for 2 hours on a weekend day to give me a break and is knackered

Pros

*I'd get a break and so would Galen. He loves new people and is very outgoing and happy in new places.
*As he gets more mobile it'd be great as he would have someplace each week that is his place.
*I don't have any family and no friends living nearby who can take him for me once a week or anything for a few hours. Any time my Mum comes to look after him is planned weeks in advance as she works PT still and they live almost 2 hours drive away.
*Part funded placement

Cons

*I am still breastfeeding and LO won't entertain a bottle. Will try milk in a cup for him and see if this would work. Expressing is crap for me now. I would probably consider formula while there if need be as after all this time I figure it won't be a disaster to have 2 feeds of formula in a week. Will it?
*Sessions are a bit longer than I would like either 8.30-1 or 1.30-5. But I can take him in a bit later or pick up earlier if need be.
*BLW if he has any meals there - I worry they won't be able to sit with him while he eats etc.
He doesn't nap much at all - Concerned about how they would get him to settle there if he was tired.
*Very noisy there often as 2-5 also in same large room with big dividers down the middle.
*I feel like I am failing him putting him in nursery so young. I realise that while he is a very happy baby most of the time, he is very much hard work and needs constant brain food. He can sit and focus on things on his own for up to an hour fine, but I still need to be here to keep an eye etc.

I'm sure there is more but my brain hurts thinking about it. I know on the one hand I am very lucky to have this opportunity but on the other I feel awful for even thinking about this as a possible option.

If you've made it this far then

Thoughts?

 

[maybebaby]

I think in your situation I would take the nursery place. LO sounds very similar to ds1 and I would have really struggled being at home with him 7 days a week as it's very intense and can be hard for both of you. I had to go back to work part time when ds was very young (about 3/4 months) which I hated but it did give me a break and meant that I had more energy/desire to play with him 'properly' when we were both at home.

He's obviously very smart and will enjoy the extra stimulation that nursery will offer him. Another thing to add the the 'pro' list is he'll get used to interacting with other children.

Good luck with your decision

 

[pilkers]

Galen sounds very much like Evie. She cannot sit still at all and has to be up and about. I had the same problems as you with the walking round etc etc. My only saving grace was that she slept at night. We used to go to Baby Signing class but every other child would sit there all serene and nice enjoying the songs and Evie would be up and about and wanting to touch, explore, pick up, eat, play, walk etc. I had to stop going because I felt like she was ruining the quietness for all the other babies IYKWIM. She's just a bundle of energy!!

Evie went into nursery for 1 and a half days a week from the age of 5 months old... she loves it there. I put her in nursery because I was going back to work but I think that if I'd have stayed at home with her then I would have put her in nursery anyway just for the break!

Sometimes you just need a break and nursery can give you that. If it doesn't work out then you can always stop him going and carry on as before.

 

[abcd1234]

I honestly think some time by yourself will help, having a childminder for Tally whilst i'm at uni helps me have some time for me and when i pick her up i'm so excited to see her and vice versa, i also know she's getting a lot out of it going to mother and baby groups everyday she's with them.

It doesn't have to be a lot but some time to be just YOU, and do something for yourself i thought would help. Really make the most of it, i go to the gym whilst she's with childminder and even uni feels like something for me and productive.

I'm sure he would love it too being around lots of other children, and it gives him some nice play time which wont wear you out lol

 

[nikkif]

Charlotte started nursery at 10.5 months old as i went back to work, and for 3 days a week. I can honestly say i am so glad we did it. She was very much like Galen always on the go, very bright and never sat still and she has come on so well there and loves it. Give it a go. Charlotte did take a little while to settle there but now just watches me walk away when i go to work without a cry at all now (unlike the screaming the 1st few times). I feel it has helped her with interacting and she is vrey sociable.

I am sure a break would help you too. Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[Lisamj]

Sam sounds very similar...very alert and aware of absolutely everything. I work from a home office and so Sam is with me all day. I think when you are working from home, however casually, as much as you would like to shower them with attention, there comes a time when you do just need to be able get on with whatever is it you need to get one with.

I can't comment on things such as the BLW and BF as I'm doing those, however, purely for the 'something new/different surroundings aspect' and more so for the social development side I am putting Sam into nursery 2 afternoons a week - even though I don't HAVE to. In all honesty Ithink I would feela bit more guilty NOT putting him in iykwim. Most friends babies who have done something similar say they really do come leaps and bounds after being in nursery. You also need to rediscover you as an individual too, rather than just being Galen's mum

L xx

 

[daftscotslass]

I would go for it Sherry, it sounds like it would be a great idea and just what both of you need. I don't have a choice about putting my LO in nursery but had I been at home I would probably have thought about it anyway. It's really fantastic to come and pick her up as she's there to greet me and today she was sitting next to another baby her age and they were playing together which was SO lovely to see - I just never really found that she was that sociable at any of the baby groups we went to because I was her main focus.

Becky is the only baby in her room that has "proper" food - toast and a yog for breakfast, a hot meal and fruit for pudding (edit: this is for lunch, it's not all breakfast ). The rest are mostly given purees or mashed food. The staff are brilliant - they watch her but don't interfere. If she doesn't want the food or plays with it, away it goes. They don't panic if she coughs. They tend to feed all the babies their meals at one time so supervising isn't a problem. It's actually easier for them to have a baby they just have to supervise, not spoon feed and they really seem to appreciate it because it's often them that have to deal with babies refusing to be spoon fed lumps etc.

If you choose to go for it he will love it, you deserve some time to yourself

 

[Squiglet]

We will be putting lil miss into a nursery this month. Really I should have done it sooner, but financially we just couldn't afford it. Shes ever so social, we went to a ball pond the other day, and she started following this older boy around, trying to cuddle him, saying aaaahhhhhh.... he didn't know what to do..she then spent a good 10 minutes playing ball with a little girl around 3...so really she needs that...

Tia went to a nursery from 6 months, and really it was great for her as she was an only child. Also when she started school, unlike the other kids who screamed and cried for mummy on their first day without them, Tia just wandered off happily without a backwards glance. She makes friends easily too

I'd not bother with the milk tbh, lil miss won't entertain boob milk from anything but boob... and she will only drink ice cold cows milk and even then, not much. If you will only loose 2 milk feeds a day... don't worry, plus you can drop him in later or pick him up earlier and a couple of hours without milk at his age won't do him any harm He will just make up for it when he sees you again.

You will probably also find that you appreciate each other more. Absence makes the heart grow fonder is very true in the case of babies and mummies..

Give it ago... If you don't like it... then meh? Take him out... no harm done

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Go for it afterall if you find after a couple of weeks that you hate it then you can always stop. It sounds like a break would be good

Wish i had that chance! Anyone who goes anywhere near Fi for more than 5 minutes comments on how much of a handful she is!

 

[kazzie-bo]

hi just wanted to comment on the breast feeding side of it........if you went for the morning session would he actually need a feed during that time do you think? adam is very similar to your lo and at the mo he feeds at 6 in the morning has brekkie and then a snack mid morning, with some water (sometimes a few sucks on a boobie but is far too nosey to feed and if we are out then he doesn't bother) and then his lunch followed by a big bf (if we are somewhere quiet) and a sleep.

so you may not need to worry about that side of things all of you other cons i think can be over come and if the nursery is a good one then they will listen to your worries about the blw and if it comes to it maybe you could pick him up at 12 and give him lunch at home? and for his snack something easier to eat or dissolveable (oops sp!!) so he is less likely to choke.

i think it will be great for him and more importantly great for you to have some "me time"

 

[Gem & Leland]

if i could afford to i would without a 2nd thought , leland is so social etc that he would just thrive in a nursey enovironment but im jobless and just cant afford the fee's , how would you get help due to pnd ??

 

[LaineyG]

I've not even read your pros and cons, as I went through exactly the same when sending Mhairi to nursery.

All I can say is DO IT!

He is at the perfect age, any older and they start to get to the "I want my mummy" stage and leaving them can be hard.

Do a bit of gradual introduction, go with him for half an hour for a few days, then maybe leave him for an hour.

You need to post a report on Galen once he's been going for a few weeks....I'm sure you'll notice all the same positives that I have!

 

[abcd1234]

on the milk thing, Tally hardly drinks a thing when she's at the childminders and she's still very dependent on milk and hasn't really dropped any feeds. She'll drink a maximum of 6oz in 7 hours but make up for it all at home, as Galen has had all his milk from you rather then out a bottle he'll probably prefer to wait like others have said.

FWIW i always love picking her up and having a nice long feed, it's like a nice long hug showing we missed each other (if you get me lol)

 

[Leese]

I can't really comment on the bf part of it, but agree that it's mentally exhausting constantly stimulating a very bright wee button and it might be good for both you and Galen to have a little break from each other occasionally (I don't know how that sounds but I don't mean it to sound bad!). James and I get on very well together but he also loves going to his childminder and it means that the time I spend with him I maybe value a bit more than I did when we were together all the time. As others have said, give it a shot, if it doesn't suit there's no harm done.

 

[kalia]

I think both of you would benefit from it - and if you don't you can stop sending him there.

 

[Xena]

My own personal feeling, sorry, is that babies that young are better off with their parents, or at least close relatives, than in daycare. I'm pretty much against putting babies and young toddlers into daycare unless it's unavoidable (i.e. if the parents work and there are no relatives to watch the children).

some interesting reading :

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/200 ... schools.uk

I mean don't get me wrong, your son might be perfectly happy if you decide to put him into the nursery. I just wouldn't have done it for my own kids when they were very young.

Everybody has their own opinions on the matter.

 

[lea m]

I really think it will be great for him to go to nursery and be with all the other babies and toys etc! And also be great for you as all mums need a break at some point!
Galen sounds like my first 3 (dont know about Lola yet ) they still dont sit still lol!
Its not like he will be spending everyday all day there away from you! And it will be something he will enjoy! If he doesnt Im sure you wont take him!

 

[babsi]

I would have done something similar if I was able to and maybe I wouldn't have the problems I do now. If you have the opportunity do it, they don't come along every day.

 

[Sherlock]

Thank you ladies

Most of you have pretty much said the same and I am reassured to know that others whose LO's have gone to nursery or a childminder are happy and doing well with them.

Xena, I read the article, thanks It did throw up some nagging thoughts in the back of my mind and I had heard about some of these things before, but had kind of forgotten them. I'm pondering all sides to it before deciding anything definate.

The daft thing is I've spent years as a nanny and been entrusted with other peoples children and now I am considering it for my own, but not with a sole carer but in a group environment. Its a different kettle of fish and I am weighing up the pros and cons. I always felt nannying had real benefits for small children and have to say all my previous charges seem to be well adjusted children and adults (yes some are now that old ). I am still unsure about nursery for babies. I can see the benefits but I can also see the down sides. I had been considering a childminder for a few hours each week but the one I like is a bit of a drive from here and may not have a place available for a while yet.

My main problem is the fact I am a SAHM at this time and I feel strange trying to get to grips with Galen going to nursery 2 sessions a week while still so young. I'd feel differently if I was returning to work and needed him to be placed there, but as I am at home with him, I found it a hard thing to contemplate and almost felt like I was letting him down. Its 4 hours one day and 3.5 the other, is that really so bad I keep asking myself. Or he could just go for 3 hours each time, its all flexible at this point.

We will be having a trial session sometime soon I think. And I'll also contact the childminder I like and see if she has any spaces anytime soon, even if for a few hours once a week.

 

[Sherlock]

if i could afford to i would without a 2nd thought , leland is so social etc that he would just thrive in a nursey enovironment but im jobless and just cant afford the fee's , how would you get help due to pnd ??

My HV is a star is all I can say. She said she has access to funding for things and the budget is there and should be used up. Its not anything I apply for, she is doing the paperwork on it all. Because of my ongoing health problems, PND, recent op and all the other things that have gone on since LO was born she said she felt I would benefit from having a bit of a break as she is worried my PND is returning and said that a couple of sessions a week might be a good solution.

It may only be a few pound toward it, it might be a bit more, but if we can get some help then I've worked the last 20 odd years and paid my taxes so I won't knock back a bit of help right now. Its not like we are rolling in money or anything. And it may only be for x amount of months or some such. I'll know more by the end of the week as to how long and how much etc.