Nowhere in literature does it tell you...

[BabysMomma]

how hard breastfeeding is!

I'm exhausted! I know its only been a week since Avery was born but there have been days and nights were I have not slept and I'm literally running on fumes. I'm so tired that I feel giddy and my fingers tingle. I literally have no energy to go out and when I do, I can't walk that far.

My appetite is cack at the moment too which doesn't help things as I have no energy. I'm not taking my iron tablets at the moment cos I'm sore when I poo (TMI I'm sorry) as my insides are sore from labour and birth.

I really enjoy breastfeeding and the closeness it brings for Avery and my relationship, but need some sleep! Like really. I should be sleeping now that Avery is but I'm too tired and restless to relax.

I had a wobble on Saturday, and was really going to give in to switching completely to formula feeding but resisted cos I knew how cack I'd feel giving up.

So, I'm thinking about giving a formula feed for an overnight feed cos I'm so exhausted and even though I'm expressing milk between feeds, I've never gotten more than 70mls a go, and that's if I'm lucky!

Avery is a grubber and really likes to drink! I don't even know if she's getting enough and feel like I'm losing the grasp on an otherwise great start for my girl. I don't want to be so exhausted that I give up completely.

We got SMA especially for breastfeeding babies tonight, and I'm so tempted to give it as a night feed as I need to reclaim my sanity.

Please help. I know I need to eat better and I've eaten really well today. But last night and today have been quite difficult as Avery is feeding on demand and seems to want to feed constantly! She's off and on throughout the feed, and also falls asleep too.

Ladies, I will gratefully accept any help/tips/advice on this. x

 

[Rayoflight]

Firstly well done. It's bloody hard these first few weeks. But so worthwhile. I know it's hard with them feeling like they're feeding constantly and on for an hour or more but I promise it's completely normal. Avery, just like her Mummy, is learning. She's never done this before and it's going to take her a bit of time to get it right. You sound like you've got the right attitude to breastfeed (you need to be bloody resilient, selfless & stubborn on this journey!).

I'm not surprised you nearly lost it on Sat. You're full of hormones, completely exhausted, and You are running on empty girl!!!!!!!!!!

Why aren't you eating? Honestly, think about this for a minute and ask yourself why. I was the same in the first week. I just felt helpless, nervous, excited, stressed, happy. It was like one big messed up cocktail of emotions. I couldn't then deal with thinking about food. I felt like I didn't have time!

Then my Mum told me to do the following:

Now... Close your eyes, imagine it is one year from now. Avery is in her high chair. You're feeding her dinner. What is she eating? What do you imagine she is enjoying right now? What, as her loving mother are you nourishing her little body with? Fresh colourful fruit? Rich, leafy green vegetables? Lean, healthy meat? Home made meals from scratch? You'd like to think this is what she is eating wouldn't you?

Now imagine the same scene but you're giving her nothing to eat. Absolutely nothing. She is in her high chair, hungry, with nothing in front of her. She's looking to you, to her Mummy, to provide her with something, anything to help her grow and thrive.

You'd never ever in a million years be in that second scenario would you?

Now, bringing you back to now, your tiny little bundle needs you and she needs you fast. You're the only person in this whole world who can provide her with the nourishment that she needs to grow strong. I know what it's like, you're exhausted, you're sore, you're in shock and the simplest of tasks (like eating) are just overwhelming right now. BUT!... If there is one thing that Avery needs it's for you to eat. And it's for you to eat well for her. She needs you Mama!

If you can't eat for yourself and eat for enjoyment, eat for her.

If you're not taking your iron tabs (and I don't blame you, toilet troubles are bad enough, never mind post partum) then please drink plenty of water to keep you moving. This is also in turn going to help your breastfeeding too. Spinach is a great way to keep up your iron intake. Also a multivitamin for breastfeeding mums might help. (8 months on, I still take Sanatogen new mother tabs daily). Oats are good for breastfeeding too.

REST WHEN SHE RESTS, NAP WHEN SHE NAPS... resist the temptation to do anything else (even entertaining guests...actually, especially entertaining guests!) try and spend the next two days snoozing when she does. I promise you will feel such greater mental clarity when you do this. Once you've done it for two days, you'll realise you NEED it and then it will become second nature to rest when you can.

If you're going to introduce a bottle for a night feed, it might be an idea to sleep in another room. I tried this too, about the same stage as you, with an expressed bottle. By the time hubby had woken up, got his arse in gear, warmed the bottle etc, i was wide awake with a screaming baby! I may as well of fed him myself! I really shouldve slept in the spare room to get the rest I needed. If you're going to introduce a bottle remember that your body works on a supply and demand basis so if you drop that night feed, your supply will in turn drop too. You may also feel uncomfortable the first few times as your boobs get full overnight. Watch out for blocked ducts at this time. Any lumps, make sure you massage them asap and get that milk flowing through them by feeding or expressing. Leaving blocked ducts and not feeding/expressing enough could cause mastitis which you really need to avoid.

Don't worry about not getting much from expressing at the moment. It's perfectly normal. You'll find if you get a sleep overnight you'll be flowing like a river for that first morning feed and you might need to express too in order not to feel as 'full'. You've then possibly got a bottle for the following night feed.

Sleep when she does in the day and the night feeds feel so much easier to handle.

Hope i've not bamboozled you with too much stuff. Hope you get the rest you deserve and the nourishment both you and Avery need right now. Message me anytime Hun, keep posting on here too. It will keep you sane and awake during those night feeds! (if you've got PF on your phone).

You're doing a wonderful job, you're giving your girl an amazing start. It's not easy, it's tough but I PROMISE it's worth every second. Keep going.

Thinking of you, sending you lots of love and support.

Gem x

 

[lesleyann23]

I remember this all too well and well done for breastfeeding. I don't have any advice but just wanted to say your doing fantastic nothing can prepare you for those first few weeks. X x

 

[Maria1977]

Rayoflight has said it all, bang on.

Firstly congrats on your little girl.

The first few weeks are so hard. Nothing can prepare you for it. I did no research into breastfeeding, nothing. Didn't read a thing, didn't ask anybody, had no advice from antenatal care... nothing... I just thought baby would latch on, drink what he needed and then that would be that. LMAO!! OMG, my baby was tongue-tied too so that made it even harder getting him on to feed.

But it's so worth the perserverance in the end.

But you have to eat, like rayoflight said you are nourishing your baby and you really need to get your calorie intake up to do that. Once you start eating your appetite will increase anyways and you will be feeling better by the day, and also alot of water.

Keep going, you're doing so well and it's so worth it in the long run.

But eat, eat eat eaaat lol xxxxxxx

 

[frankie707]

ROL has hit the nail on the head, my major mistake in those fist few weeks was not to sleep/rest when G was sleeping, I always felt exhausted just before G would wake up for a feed and then feel awake after the feed when he was asleep. I wish I had just gone and had a lie down even if I hadnt felt sleepy.
You're doing really well, what you're feeling sounds very normal and it does get better I promise

 

[Rayoflight]

How are you feeling today love? X

 

[isobel84]

It took me 9 days to get out of the house, 3 weeks to stop crying of tiredness and 4 weeks to bond with my son. I could eat, but not sleep. I remember the second time my hv came, Noa was 2 weeks, I had fallen asleep for the first time during the day n felt so bad when she came cuz I had slept! I never did it again! If I ever have anotherone, I will sleep more.
And breastfeeding is fantastic when u get over the first bit. X

 

[Cantstop]

Just wanted to confirm it does get easier - I remember thinking how hard it was, and no one prepared me for that but now I can't remember why it was so hard as it's not hard any more. It's definitely the tiredness though - I was like a zombie the first couple of weeks (didn't make it out of the bedroom a few days), but get some more rest and more food and it'll get easier!

 

[jennilisanne]

Oh hun, it does get better I promise!! It's so hard and you've done so well, keep your fluids up and get some sleep

 

[tipper]

I think all of us new moms have gone through your exact situation. Breastdeeding is so insanely difficult! For me, things just started to fall into place around week 5-6. Up until then, my pink bits have been so sore and had to brace myself for each latch, baby has wanted to cluster feed more often than I would like, no sleep, etc. I thought about quitting every single feed. You know how it goes.

All i can add to the advice above is just hang in there! Never quit on a bad day. One day you'll notice that things just seem easier for no apparent reason. Also, dont be discouraged about the amount that you pump. Your baby is much more efficient at getting milk out of you than a pump. If your baby is having a good number of wet diapers and is gaining weight, dont worry about your supply.

Also, despite what a lot of people think, formula is not he devil. If giving a bottle at night (or whenever) will help you keep your sanity, go for it! A happy/less stressed mom is best for everyone.

 

[lesleyann23]

Ripper I really like your comment about formula not being the devil. I think so much pressure is put on new mums and we are all told how rubbish parents you are for giving babies formula. I gave in at 3 weeks I was an exhausted emotional wreck but because I had been pressured so much about breastfeeding I didn't think to combine feed in my mind i give my baby one bottle of formula so i already failed. I'm sure if people had been more supportive with combining I'd still be breastfeeding.

 

[BabysMomma]

Thank you all for your replies Ladies, I very much appreciate it.

Its all been a rollercoaster and I really feel that I have failed as a Mum to my little Avery as I just don't seem to be able to satisfy her hunger at all!

I started with the formula for the last feed before bed and it was a godsend! She slept just short of 5 hours. I was completely knackered, so much so that I completely blanked out and fell asleep for a split second whilst sitting up and in mid conversation with my 14yr old DS!

The MW weighed Avery and on one day she'd lost over 10% of her birthweight, which is when she advised me to start expressing so as I could get the hind milk and feed it to Avery on next feeds etc. Then apparantely on another day she then put on 12oz, then on Friday just passed, she hadn't put on much at all.

So I gave in to formula and now Avery feeds of me first, then takes between a 90-120ml bottle of formula! I stopped expressing but think maybe I should start again so as I can get a better milk supply?

Oh I seriously do not know what I'm doing here I really don't

Is Avery a hungry baby?

Already I can see that her body is starting to fill out, whereas before I could see her spine and shoulder blades (still can a wee bit but not as bad). Her cheeks are filling out and where there was saggy skin, its now more plumper.

I get so much different advice of each MW who calls that I just don't know what to do. Avery doesn't settle after breast feeds until she gets a formula feed. Until she was getting the formula feed after taking from my breasts, she would be screaming the place down and scarcely sleep. She's getting a far better rest now.

I feel like so much of a failure now...I was in bed trying to get a quick nap this morning whilst Avery slept and I heard the MW at the door and didn't answer it cos I can't face explaining that I just can't seem to give my LO the nourishment she needs. I'm dreading the MW calling out tomorrow now.

All I can say is...that I'm lost and in tears. x

 

[Elfs Mummy]

you are doing the best you can hun
Maisie lost 13% of her birth weight as she refused food and was falling asleep after a few sucks. I still am exclusivly bf Maisie dropped 2 centiles then she suddenly started gaining and has now regained 3 !
Porridge is fantastic i find it always boosts my supply when its low. The first 6 weeeks are the hardest but i promise it will get easier I had a bf advisor come out to me maybe you could ask for one to come see you and offer you some more support

You are doing brilliantly xx

 

[frankie707]

A friend of mine had a similar problem and she combined fed her son like you're doing until he was about 8 weeks old and then he just started taking less and less from the bottle after the bf and very quickly she was just doing one bottle in the evening and her supply was enough for baby, she's still going and her son is over 8 months now.
You are not a failure, so many people would have given up by now, as I said a few days ago she is still getting your breastmilk so she is still getting all the benefits from bf she maybe just needs the formula for a bit as a kick start.

 

[Cantstop]

Maybe get in touch with the breastfeeding support people - I found them SO useful! At my lowest point they came out and gave me some ideas on how to make things better, and just having a plan made me feel 100 times better, instead of feeling just like I was floundering and failing.

 

[lesleyann23]

Hi just wondered how things are going and if you got the help you needed yet?