Not Preg Related. swearing will occur. im so angry!!

[twinkle90]

Anyone else have a nightmare MIL!!!! Im so fucking angry. Im crying. MIL phones Michael. Basically saying our house is a shit hole. Baring in mind, she never comes round. She came once the other day to drop evie off. She was in the living room. And evies toys were everywhere. How fucking dare she disrespect my house. And because i called her an interfereing cow. Im in the wrong. Yes the house is a tip, but we have a child and we both work full time. I havent been well all weekend. So Michael is livid with me because of the house and because he agrees with his mum. I dont need her to butt in. Im raging!!!!

 

[hellywelly]

If he agrees with his mother, tell him to get off his arse and bloody well clean it then!! Cheeky bugger!

 

[Pumpkin9]

Couldn't agree more with hellywelly is be bloody fuming. He should respect that your pregnant and going to find it hard right now.

 

[MrsGriff]

Totally agree with Hellywelly! You both have jobs so he is as equally responsible as you for keeping the house tidy.

I also have nightmare inlaws. In fact a few months ago I decided to stop having anything to do with them, despite them living in the next street from me. I have to say i am much happier now

 

[lisa1985]

Well me and my oh were in devon for a week and my MIL went to our house and did our cleaning without asking!!! I was not impressed, didnt realise she even had a spare key! Also didnt double lock the front door so was left slightly unsecure for 4 nights! I did say thank you and she said she wanted to help as i am 5 months pregnant, i am pregnant, not ill!! X

 

[Gillyboos]

Agree with everyone else, you both work so why doesn't he do some bloody cleaning/tidying?!! I'd be fuming too, more so with him for suggesting it's your job!

 

[MrsHttc]

My god! I can't think of anything that would have me more raging!
Once my MIL was at our house, she never visits either (she's only seen alice about 7 times and she's nearly 11 months old and she lives 20 minutes away) she went to the toilet and my girls' beds hadn't been made yet....it was one of those days....she says "I wouldn't let mine downstairs until they'd made their beds"....the rage!! She was told this is their home and I don't run a bootcamp!

I agree with the girls above...your OH needs to pull his finger out if he agree with his mother, but also think he should be backing you up. I don't know how ppl dare open their mouths and say things like that. I wouldn't dare. Everyone who has kids knows, that a lot of the time when you have little ones the house gets untidy, it doesn't mean it's dirty. Would she prefer you didn't let your daughter get her toys out and play? Stupid woman x

 

[mylullaby]

I think your anger at MIL is misdirected and you should be raging at your partner. Do you both do your fair share of jobs or does he think anything in the home is women's work?? Fuck me, I really hope not. I wouldn't give a flying flip what your MIL thinks hun - it's none of her business is it? If she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come round does she?! He on the other hand should be pulling his weight and making sure things are in order if that's the way he like it. He's being a total prick. If you haven't got one, write up a list of all the jobs that need doing - split into daily/weekly/monthly if it helps (there are actual examples of chores lists like this on pinterest!) - then agree who does what (bearing in mind that your share will take your pregnancy into account). Do you split childcare equally or do you end up doing the lion's share of that too? Maybe this could be the perfect way to get him to appreciate the amount of effort that goes into cleaning/tidying/raising a child? There is no way on this earth my DH would side with his DM in a situation like this. He needs a reality check - definitely before baby number 2 appears and your workload doubles while he expects his to stay the same!

 

[twinkle90]

Im angry that mil has judged the wsy the house is. And asked if we were struggling. I dont know which one to be offended about first. Over the weekend, i had bleeding, ectopics and threatened miscarriges were mentioned. So cleaning the house was last on the list. But then OH goes behind my back and tell my mum that he thinks im not coping. Without talking to me first. I dont know what hes on about. Yes im stressed and tired now. But he just made me so angry. I think a chore list is in order. I will look on pinterest later and write one up. He does work longer hours but it still shouldnt be left for me.

 

[mylullaby]

Honestly just try to let anything with MIL go over your head. She isn't important. Definitely not at a time when you need to be cutting out any stress and doing what you can to have a healthy pregnancy. I think lists are good because they show the sheer volume of work that needs doing and then moaning other halves who want miracles can see with their own eyes that it ain't that easy!! Tell him you'd rather he discussed his worries with you if he thinks you're not coping, not go off bitching to MIL about it. Knob.

 

[Gillyboos]

Letting any MiL annoyance go is really good advice. I have lots of niggles with mine but I've found letting them go a lot less stressful than kicking off. I also find it makes it easier for hubby to appreciate my side of things.
I think I'd be asking why OH feels you aren't coping, it might be an eye opener to see how he isn't really pulling his weight.

 

[Juice]

Jesus she'd have a heart attack if she came to my house!! I hardly ever tidy away Beth's toys, I just push them into a pile at the side of the living room. Her bedroom toys don't even get that!! And I never make any of the beds! Life's too short.

There's a difference between dirt and mess. Dirt is unhealthy, mess is just a preference. Just because you're messy because raising your child, trying not to throw up and having emergency scans, doesn't mean you're not coping! Omg!!

 

[H16]

Totally agree with the others that if he doesn't like it he can get off his ass and tidy it himself he is more then capable. My MIL commented on state of my house once when Ruby was a month old, I was far from impressed but luckily OH put her straight. My dad also moaned once because he came round stupidly early and the washing up wasn't done from 4am feed, I told him to F off and he started cleaning my kitchen lol x

 

[Becky1]

My mil looks after lo a day a week at my house, you should see it when they leave - forever clearing up pots, putting all the toys away etc...

Chore list sounds like a good idea, I could do with one of those.

Xx