Not been on here for ages....

[HayleyB]

Hey all,
i've not been on here for ages, well not really since my miscarriage on the 9th June last year.
Am a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment with the anniversary of it coming up, and i had another miscarriage on the 19th February this year.
I was off work between then and went back in on the 4th May, i really had a bit of an emotional breakdown, and just couldn't face anything.

The past few days i've been so so teary, and i don't know who to turn to, poor Graham is being really supportive, but i've got so much anger and upset inside me that i go from needing to hug him to wanting to shout in 0.1seconds.

I've had to come home from work early today cos i've just been sat at my desk crying, I'm so all over the place, and all of my close friends have got babies now, so i feel uncomfortable talking to them about feeling like this. i know that they would want to be here for me, but I seem to be shutting down emotionally.

My parents keep telling me that its for the best, and to give it time, and how we've just brought a house and we need to get used to paying the bills here first before we have a baby, which i can understand, it makes sense but the maternal instinct in me just won't let it go.
I think part of my emotional unstableness today is the fact that i'm 7 days late, but i know i'm not pregnant, i've done 3 tests over the past 3 days, and all have been negative.

Sorry to go on, i just really need to vent and like i said i just don't know where to turn.

Hayley xox

 

[Vicky]

aww i'm so sorry Hayley ((((Hugs)))), i hope everything works out for you hun.

 

[Dee1985]

awww hunni, we all here for u to chat to.

how far gone were u both times you had M/C

 

[HayleyB]

I was about 8 weeks last year, but it was a missed m/c so the sac was only 5 weeks.
And this year i was 9 weeks.

thanks for the hugs xox

 

[Dee1985]

aw im sorry hun, are you TTC now?

i had 2 early M/C then straight after my second M/C i gotpreg and had a little girl then straight after her i had a lil boy,
so there is hope hunni, dont give up x

 

[HayleyB]

We're not religiously ttc (if you know what i mean)
but we are ttc, when AF is due i get all the sickness symptoms and heightened sense of smell and stuff, so every month i get my hopes up, but so far nothing. We've been ttc for 2 years now. So just keep praying!!
I like coming on here and reading all the stories, they giveme hope!

xox

 

[jacquidube]

I do sympathise with you hayley. I feel so sad for you. Its not nice what you are going through. You havent long miscarried your last one and you still have to think about the babies anniversary coming up from last year, no wonder you are so emotional hun. Maybe that is why your period is late? you are so upset and feel you cant cope but you are here venting, because you know you can and it helps us too, to be able to help you in some way if we can. Vent all you want.

I will pray for you and pray that God will see and here all what you are going through. There will be a breakthrough for you and the positive will start to happen for you and your OH.

I dont believe anything is for the best. If you are ready to try again for a baby then go ahead. Have you been checked over by the doctor. Maybe he can give you some progesterone, it is the main reason why alot of us women miscarry or there is baby aspirin.

I have miscarried 5 times now, my latest was in Feb 10th this year. I just cant keep up with them all at all. I have comfort in knowing they are all playing in heaven knowing that one day mummy will come for them to be with them eternally. What a huge blessing that will be.

Always hang onto the positive and always make your mind up with yourself because you will find that nobody will ever agree with you, only you can do that to yourself.

Godbless you. All my love Jacqui. x x x x

 

[sophie]

so sorry for ur loss
sophie
xx

 

[Wobbles]

Hi Hayley x

I do feel for you so much & I can relate to the anger, pain & emotions whirling round your head. I went through nearly 2 months of poking & prodding due to an ectopic pregnancy then less than 2 weeks ago I got my BFP only the joy didn't stay long I'd worked out my due date & I'm not sure that did me any good as I don't think it will leave my mind.

Ever feel like a rant away from the forum pop me a PM or even add me to MSN.

Oooooo & hi

x

 

[rach]

hi hayley im so sorry for your loss hun we are all here for you should you need us hope this year proves to be a better one for you xxxxx

 

[HayleyB]

Thank you all for your messages.
Sorry that i rambled on for so long, just really needed to vent!
Am back at the hospital on the 26th June for my test results,
Have been having blood tests every few days so that they've got an overview of whats going on on certain days of my cycle.

Thank you for all your kind messages
xox

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

So sorry and good luck with your future and trying for another.
Katrina