Hey all,
i've not been on here for ages, well not really since my miscarriage on the 9th June last year.
Am a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment with the anniversary of it coming up, and i had another miscarriage on the 19th February this year.
I was off work between then and went back in on the 4th May, i really had a bit of an emotional breakdown, and just couldn't face anything.
The past few days i've been so so teary, and i don't know who to turn to, poor Graham is being really supportive, but i've got so much anger and upset inside me that i go from needing to hug him to wanting to shout in 0.1seconds.
I've had to come home from work early today cos i've just been sat at my desk crying, I'm so all over the place, and all of my close friends have got babies now, so i feel uncomfortable talking to them about feeling like this. i know that they would want to be here for me, but I seem to be shutting down emotionally.
My parents keep telling me that its for the best, and to give it time, and how we've just brought a house and we need to get used to paying the bills here first before we have a baby, which i can understand, it makes sense but the maternal instinct in me just won't let it go.
I think part of my emotional unstableness today is the fact that i'm 7 days late, but i know i'm not pregnant, i've done 3 tests over the past 3 days, and all have been negative.
Sorry to go on, i just really need to vent and like i said i just don't know where to turn.
Hayley xox
i've not been on here for ages, well not really since my miscarriage on the 9th June last year.
Am a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment with the anniversary of it coming up, and i had another miscarriage on the 19th February this year.
I was off work between then and went back in on the 4th May, i really had a bit of an emotional breakdown, and just couldn't face anything.
The past few days i've been so so teary, and i don't know who to turn to, poor Graham is being really supportive, but i've got so much anger and upset inside me that i go from needing to hug him to wanting to shout in 0.1seconds.
I've had to come home from work early today cos i've just been sat at my desk crying, I'm so all over the place, and all of my close friends have got babies now, so i feel uncomfortable talking to them about feeling like this. i know that they would want to be here for me, but I seem to be shutting down emotionally.
My parents keep telling me that its for the best, and to give it time, and how we've just brought a house and we need to get used to paying the bills here first before we have a baby, which i can understand, it makes sense but the maternal instinct in me just won't let it go.
I think part of my emotional unstableness today is the fact that i'm 7 days late, but i know i'm not pregnant, i've done 3 tests over the past 3 days, and all have been negative.
Sorry to go on, i just really need to vent and like i said i just don't know where to turn.
Hayley xox