No Sex Throughout Whole Pregnancy!!

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies!!

I don't bother even mentioning the "S" word to my DH now because he just says "there is absolutely no way - please don't take offence because it is not your body or attractiveness anything like that - it is the fact that there is a little human being in there - it does not feel right!"

Atleast we can have a laugh about it with things like (he says) "my wrist is the fittest and strongest it has been since the last pregnancy" and "I have the biggest porn collection ever!". Laughing about makes me feel better about the whole thing rather than getting upset and angry! I am glad we can also talk about it quite openly.
And I don't even want it anyway (that is the stupid thing!!)

We should be okay after the baby is born (I am talking a number of weeks after healing!!). It is quite exciting as if we are rediscovering ourselves!!!!!

Julia xxxx

 

[Shiela2]

I am going through similar in that my BF has pretty much gone off sex due to not feeling "right" about doing it with a baby inside me. It's not that he thinks he will hurt it, just that the thought of a baby being there freaks him out and turns him off. Am 35 weeks now, so not long to go, and we've managed it a couple of times, but I am finding it really really tough emotionally. Just makes me feel undesirable and unwanted - even though I still totally feel like and want sex and want him. Plus coming home from a hard days work and knowing that he has looked at porn before I got back makes me feel extra extra crap. I've nothing against porn per se, just feels like at the moment it is some kind of replacement for me or better than me, rather than just being an addition to a healthy love life with me if that makes sense... When I've brought up the subject (of lack of sex and porn) I get bloody nowhere. He just gets defensive/angry and tries to make out like I am the mad one, that he is not the type of man that thinks about sex all the time (which I have never accused him of) etc etc. Basically just being selfish, and doesn't want to deal with the fact that the state of our love-life is actually making me feel depressed. As long as he is ok, this seems to be the main thing. I am just getting fed up with feeling like I have no control. Weeks away from giving birth it's not as if I can go out looking drop dead gorgeous, flirt with other men and show him what he is missing or anything. It's rubbish to feel so stuck and helpless to do anything about it, having so little leverage as it were. Am also now wondering, what if he continues to be freaked out by the thought of sex with me after our baby is born??? Am I meant to just put up with a life of celibacy??

 

[Ally1979]

I think we are at it more now then when we were TTC!!! I dunno wot it is about pregnancy but it makes me really horney and i just have to get into bed next to him and im all ready to go lol!!!!
Has been interesting finding lots of different postions where it can be more comfy, but where there is a willy there is a way lol!!!

 

[charlotte_]

we've done it twice since i've been pregnant! it's definately me though, not him. i have no sex drive whatsoever, i'm just too tired most of the time... i don't even, ahem, do the job myself that much anymore! but i've told him we'll be doing plenty of shagging if i go overdue, so i suppose he's got that to look forward too, haha.

 

[abcd1234]

Well i obviously pick men who can over look the baby thing lol.

Baby daddy never gave it a second thought i dont think, but then i dont think he cared if he poked her.

i educated Dave on it all and he wasnt bothered, but we only had sex once, the night before i went in to labour.

However we did have a convo about this the other week and he said he can completely understand why some men wouldnt want sex whilst their partner is pregnant, i do think it's much more of a not wanting ot harm baby thing then a not wanting you cos your appearence has changed.

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies!

Just read through everyone's posts again and I think it is an equal split - some men do and some men don't!

It does make you feel totally frumpy and undesirable when your DH is not interested at all! And it's right, I can't even have a good drunken flirt with anyone We are even sleeping in seperate beds at the moment because I am uncomfortable at night and need the WHOLE bed! He is also afraid of knocking into me in the night. It is almost as if I am made of glass at the moment!

I will be interested to see when his sex drive returns after I have had the baby - could be bloody months!!!

I will be just happy to have my two little children in my life - I feel so blessed and lucky to be even able to have babies (after reading about people who can't conceive).

Love and celibacy,

Julia xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[jennifer1981]

My OH and i didn't have any sex from after the 20 week scan. I was expecting it though coz i know how his mind works. It took me some time to get over the fact that it wasn't that he no longer fancied me but the fact that there was a baby 'up there'.

I worried that he would be the same once id had the baby and so far we still haven't had any but that's only coz of me. At least he's tried. Im just not ready yet.

 

[kellyannlyle]

I never had a high sex drive until i met my boyfriend......
I then got a very high one and could imagine not having it.

If we even go a week (we don't live together) then I get very cranky... so does he!!!

sorry ladies if you think i'm crazy!!

 

[shesmurf]

I'm actually really surprised to see so many women are put off. I'm not saying it's bad probably just a combination of hormones and fatigue. Admittedly we have had alot less but that has nothing to do with not wanting to. Too much movement doesn't help my sickness and I usually get stomach cramp afterwards.
My finacee has warned me that I've got no chance once I'm into the last month but we shall see, I don't think he could last that long! me either truthfully.

I can honestly say I think it has been the one saving grce for me so far. Something to do with hormones from what I've read but we've had some of the best it's ever felt so don't dismiss it