It is getting me down now....anyone in the same boat??

[Julia]

Hi girls,

I have made a joke about the following on a number of posts but it is really starting to get me down....DH will not come near me in a sexual way. This has occurred from the beginning of the pregnancy. I am 32 weeks!!!!!! I don't even feel like sex and would probably refuse anyway BUT it is the fact that he is totally not interested and even pulls a horrible face if anyone suggests sex between me and him. He just says "it is not right...there is another human being in there" or "your boobs are all veiny and and really dark - it puts me off a bit". He is not nasty about it and I prefer him to be honest with me (we have always been honest with each other from day 1). Will he ever be interested in me again? Has anyone else been through this?????? He jokes about the fact that his right arm is now really strong!!!!! I don't mind this because I appreciate it is normal and like him to be open with me. BUT seriously, will it ever be the same again????

Julia xx

 

[lauramumof2]

I dont think that after pregnancy things are ever the same but they can be better. It sounds as if he is very aware of the fact that you are changing into a mother and needs a bit of reminding that you are still a woman. He sounds quite up for some frank talking so tell him how you feel. Men arent the best at expressing things properly.

Hope it goes well

Laura

 

[nicki]

Hi hun,

I really wouldn't worry too much about it, focus on you and the baby for now and look forward to meeting your bub, not long to go now. I'm pretty sure that after you've had the baby and are back to some sort of normality your hubby won't be able to keep his hands off you.

Some men find the whole pregnancy thing strange and associate sex as something completely different to making & growing a baby. My DH feels its not really right to make love because he knows there's a baby in there, even though he knows it won't hurt him, feels its a bit odd. I can't really describe it, don't think he can either.

My DH has made the odd comment about how bigs my boobs are getting and how dark they are and how i'm losing my inny belly button & I think the fact that I can't see to my bikini line (way out of control now!! ) puts him off going anywhere near there.

I'm like you and don't fancy sex anyway but there are other ways of showing affection. Do you and him cuddle & kiss still? Does he give you massages?

Don't let it get you down tho. hun, just think what it'll be like when the time comes after the baby is born, it'll be even more special & will probably send you into orbit!!

Take Care.

Nicki.x

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies. I know that the problem is probably common (friends have said the same). We both can't wait for the baby and are going to make a lovely little family. BUT I still want to be seen as a sexual being by my DH. I think I will focus on getting some lovely new underwear and some sexy new clothes and really make an effort after (or try anyway!).....You are right Nicki, down below is a overgrown mess which is probably very off putting....SO...that will be sorted too!!!!

I am glad I am not the only one!!
Julia xxxx

 

[kellie80]

My DH was exactly the same, he wouldn't come near me from me being about 16 weeks! But about 2 weeks after the birth he was back to normal, he didn't even seem to notice the stretch marks and jelly belly!

 

[Sarahe]

Hi I cant sympahise with you on this,as I have the opposite problem.

My partner wants it constantly it is always the start of an arguement doesnt matter time whether I am in bed or washing up he wants it. I give it up every 2 weeks and if he goes on and on I give it up once a week.

I even tried getting him to tidy it up as i thought if he saw what had happened down there he might be put off.

Nope he thinks pregnant women is the best thing since sliced bread.

I dont want to offend him as i think he is the best thing since sliced bread (invisible crusts only ) but it makes my skin crawl as i really really dont want it

Sarah

 

[lmwarr]

My suggestion is that after you have given birth and are obviously in the mood, make a real effort to look completely sexy and wonderful and when he does try it on dont go for it make him wait a bit. Trust me he wont be able to resist you, knowing that you are there and he cant have you. Then you can make it all worth while the waiting you had to go through.

Im sure everything will work itself out. You are still a woman well an even better woman now.

Good luck and if nothing happens when you want it to try a vibrator they are just as good! and theres no mess afterwards!

 

[Julia]

Imwarr,

I think you are completely right...I am going to buy all new undies and try to get down to my original size to buy new clothes and then......MAKE HIM WAIT!!! I hope to be a glamourous Mum but unfortunately know many people who hoped the same and it didn't turn out like that! My number one concern will be the baby but again, I would like to feel sexy with it! WHO KNOWS??

Julia xx