new and ttc for past 5 months, periods after the pill?

[CatBana]

Hello all. I'm 26 and got married to my husband (36) in August. Since then we've been trying to get pregnant but not what I'd call 'seriously' because I have to practically beg my husband for 'baby dancing!' He'll only have sex with me a few times a week and if left to himself it would probably only be once a month. Seriously humiliating but since we got married he's not very interested in me although he does want a baby too. He's working through some issues which I'm supportive of but I never dreamt I'd be the one pestering him in the bedroom department.

So anyway, I told him that you basically have to have nookie every other night if you want the best chance of concieving. We have a daughter already who is nearly 4, she is such a treasure! The reason we haven't had another one yet is because I wanted to be married first. I came off the pill in June, but my periods, although they're regular are extremely light compared to what they used to be. I keep making myself think they're just implantation bleeds and then I do a test and of course they've all been negative - I really must stop doing that, so disappointing!

Just wanted to ask any advice about the periods or anything else. Since I've been researching online I was really surprised to find that healthy couples only have a 25% chance of conceiving every month. I was chatting to these girls I sort of know who both have 2 kids each and they were a bit irritatingly ignorant about the facts-I wish I'd never told them I want to be pregnant cos seriously every week when I see them they go 'so are you pregnant yet' and I want to go 'uhh no, you only have 2 FLIPPING DAYS A MONTH of viable egg activity!!' sorry, I guess when you're TTC it's a very sensitive issue!

Wish I could know when it's going to happen, my husband keeps wondering why we're not getting pregnant but it seems like a no brainer, you've got to have sex to get pregnant!

Anyway, I don't see my friends much and I would really appreciate talking to you nice people about this stuff.

thank you.
Cat

 

[Pudds86]

Hello! I'm a newbie too... We also got married in August. We have been talking about babies since day one, but fortunately Hubby is complete opposite, sometime annoying how much he wants to 'baby dance' as you so sweetly put it! I suppose that is a good thing now we have made the big step to try. This will be our first, and also our first month of trying to conceive! I have to admit, I knew about ovulating etc before trying, but I didn't realise there was so much science in it. I was talking to a girl at work today about this forum and she was like " that's a bit weird" and I got all defensive. I said "there is a lot to trying to get pregnant!". People just don't seem to understand, and it can be a really sensitive subject. Like you said, it's nice to come here and speak to like minded people...

Stay Positive!!! Good Luck xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Welcome to the forum

Have you thought about using either temping or OPKs (ovulation detection strips) to try to more accurately pin point your ovulation so you can make sure you are at the best possible time?

 

[CatBana]

Hello Pudds! thanks for your reply, that's so exciting that you're trying for your first, it's the best thing ever! Birth is a different story but sure we're all willing to go through it again so it's not that bad!
Yeah I know what you mean, some women are lucky enough to get pregnant right away (I hope you're one of them!) but it makes me feel a bit pressurised when people just assume it works that way all the time! To be honest I think that's what I was hoping for - because our first pregnancy was unplanned (but never unwanted) I thought we'd be pregnant immediately!
It is nice to chat to people in the same boat, keep me posted on any developments!
x

 

[CatBana]

oh my word what an image! Lol, yes I have got some ovulation strips but I stopped using them, not sure why, I think I was worried that I might test my pee at the wrong time of the day and potentially miss an ovulation day because of it. To be honest I think when you're TTC you should be trying as often as possible, if it's what you really want. So it frustrates me that my husband is so unwilling. I wish it was just up to me to get pregnant, seriously if you want something done right do it yourself!

 

[Pudds86]

Yeah it is really exciting! My good friend has her baby girl 2 weeks ago, and she has told "the things no one ever tells you" about labour! I am sure it is v. painful, but like you said, everyone is willing to do it again. Hubby is really positive about this month, but I have been giving him the lowdown on the chance of conceiving and a bit of the science to it, he was totally unaware...still positive, but a bit more grounded now. I am able to test on Friday, but I think I might give it a go tomorrow morning. I wont get my hopes up, but I am so impatient!

I don't know what to tell you about your hubby, you obviously know him better than anyone. Like you said if you really want a baby you use every opportunity to try. Turkey Baster? xx

 

[louise280981]

lol pudds turkey baster
hi ya welcome hope you get your bfp soon im also ttc but number 3 like you said my other 2 came as a happy surprise with no trying and early on in our relationship but this time round it aint happen as quick
all the best im sure we will speak again soon
when is your af due this month? even tho it aint coming hehe just wondered when you can test? im testing next friday 8days and counting
lots of baby dust for you xx

 

[evie_smith]

hello and welcome lots of **baby dust** your way!! Im trying to consieve number three my first took 7 and a half months before i knew i just knew and tested two weeks early and yay! v unxepected as i have cysts and my little man escaped throught the 2% barrier of a condom haha the little bugger! I am now trying for number 3 have you tried temperature tracking? Im doing temperature tracking now my cycles are now back to 45 days not a good sign but my last af was really painful so having fingers crossed fingers crossed for you too i know its a wierd question but maybe trying nice underwear and chocolate cream ect . . . uno make it different you could check your cervix position too that helps and you could do the underwear thing coinsiding x

 

[CatBana]

thanks for your replies! Lol puds - I have indeed considered a turkey baster! Don't want to be too hard on hubby, he works so many hours a week, we have hardly any free time together with having a 3 year old aswell.
Louise af has already been this month, last week on the 2 december. Am gonna try really hard around ovulation time next week so fingers crossed.
evie whats temperature tracking? ill try anything. as for the underwear thing, we'r newly weds for pities sake and I do have some nice undies I got for the honeymoon but he's not into it and I feel so incredibly unsexy at the mo after repeated rejection! Its so annoying cos how are we ever going to conceive at this rate. Our daughter managed to conquer the condom barrier also! So I'm quite frustrated that its been five months, but my periods are still so light.
Was anyone on the pill and were your periods really light? xo

 

[jus_wants_a_baby]

Hey Pudds86 me and hubby got married on 1st August too.
Is amazing how the roles of wanting sex switch when it comes to trying. Got turned down twice in the past month by hubby which was just so unfair!! Lol always used to be the other way round. When does eveyone get to test? Am new to this forum and finding it hard to talk to anyone at home as we dont want anyone to know we are trying to keep the pressure off and have moved up north so cant find any new friends in similar situation.

FINGERS CROSSED WE ALL GET PREGO BY XMAS!!!!

 

[evie_smith]

i can test either christmas new year or 18th jan as i have a 45 day cycle and no idea where i ovulate lol so donr know exacally when hgc would be detectable lol if it was a 28 day cycle i could test christmas eve but with mine god know what do you think???

 

[Pudds86]

haha, yeah I guess the turkey baster might be a little harder in reality. Aww all newlyweds, thats nice! Although it doesn't feel like we are newly married anymore. Feels like it has been years already! Sending lots of baby dust your way ladies! My AF has arrived so I'm not on edge anymore. Can begin trying again soon, Hubby thinks he has won the lottery!!!! x

 

[evie_smith]

i got married 6th of august last year
Temperature tracking is taking your temperature every morning orally or vaginally not by your ear - it just doesnt work that way lol and you remember that reading and chart it fertility friend . com or co.uk cant remember is good for that you put in the data and what your vcaginal discharge is ie . creamy, watery or egg white dry ect . . and it will take your data and it will cross in a big red when you have ovulated automatically so you dont have to do any of the work it will also tell you when you are most proberly fertile and days you are most proberly not its good and got a months free vip trial then its just normal with less bit but i only use the free stuff anyway as put above its really good.
I know dry is not fertile then it goes creamy - bit more fertile, waterly = fertile and egg white (streches between the fingers like a raw egg) is like ovulation time most fertile after ovulation is may be watery for a few days but most likely will go back to being dry staright away and then the wait for af or pg x

 

[evie_smith]

you have to take your temperature before getting out of bed in the morning as well coz when you more it disturbs your temp or after 3 hrs of complete rest x

 

[jus_wants_a_baby]

haha yeah my hubby thinks xmas has come early with all the TTC!! He's getting very excited, though getting my hopes up cos he keeps saying I could be pregnant!!! What are ur hubbys like with the baby thing?

Does feel like we've been married ages too, did u have good weather on the 1st? We were lucky up north it stopped tipping it down at 10am!

Does anyone else get driven mad seeing loads of pregnant people and people with newborns, seem to be so many around!! Just wana be a mummy!

xxx

 

[Pudds86]

Carl is very broody. He is getting used to how it all works now, was very naive to begin with and thought it would be as simple as doing it once, and hoping for the best. He cannot wait to be a daddy, but is having fun trying. Always quite laid back, so thats nice not having pressure from him.

Yes, it was okay weather! Could have been better. Rained a little when we came out of the church, but we were under trees having pics, so didnt notice much. It dried up in the evening, but once we were at the venue, didnt notice it!

I get really jealous! Three of my very close friends have has babies in the last month, Carls best mate had one in Sept, and my other mate is due in January, so at least I can have a cuddle when I need one!

xx

 

[jus_wants_a_baby]

Yeah it's mad how many people seem to be having them! Yeah I think Phil was the same in thinking we would get prego straight away!

Hows long have you been trying for? Do u use ovulation test things? I tried using them last month but didn't seem to work very well so we just made sure we tried lots over the past week n a bit (think thats when i'm supposed to ovulate) and then we just doing it every other day! No idea if this is the right thing to do!!! lol

Looking forward to xmas lots, can have a break from teaching and lots of xmas carnivals in the freezing cold! xx

 

[Pudds86]

This is only our first month trying... Dec ov will be my second. I am not going to use the ov tests until we have tried for a few months. I think the best thing to do is to just try lots for about 8 days over ovulation day. You've got to get it right then!

I love the cold- I am originally from Canada, so it feels like home! It is going to snow this week apparantly too!! YAY! XX

 

[jus_wants_a_baby]

think its supposed to snow up here. Where abouts in hampshire are you? Thats where i'm from down near portsmouth originally! Going down for xmas on the 23rd yey!!!

Thats what we been doing just ttc lots around ovulation so hopefully this will be our month as we tried so hard!!!
xxx