Need SERIOUS advice!! university attending whilst preg?

[YellowGlass]

VERY MUCH CONFUSED WITH everything at the mo!!!!!!
I am 8 weeks pregnant and due to start a postgraduate degree in Sept... does anyone know if I can actualy do this? And still live in uni halls?
Baby is due in Feb, and I know this sounds terrible-but I dont know if I can keep it?
Boyfriend doesnt want it all. Were together 2 years. Some days I want it and it makes me smile, other days I cant stop crying and hate it!
Feel my future is nothing anymore (I am 21 years old!) Other times I think of the joys of a baby!
CANNOT move home having lived the past 5 years away from my family in a different country! But can see no means of supporting myself if I stay in England and am not attending a university?!!
Will have no other choice but to return to the hell of my home life and gain parents stupport.
I HAVE NO IDEA what 2 do!
Can anyone offer any advice on perhaps working whilst regnant in England if this is an option?
Or else my dream of attending university, but whilst being pregnant!?!?
Any advice, please!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lisaspoon]

Hi there! Firstly....
Sorry to hear that things are so confusing for you I would say your first step is to discuss things properly and decide whether keeping this baby is what you both want to do..........
Secondly, you mention that this is a postgrad degree? How long is the course? I was on a postgrad 2 year course and 2 of my friends both became pregnant whilst on the course (close to the start) and they continued their studies as far as possible and took a break to have the baby. One returned to continue studies, the other left to set up her own business.
Have you already got into the course I take it? Maybe have a chat with the admissions department or faculty people that you will be attending and see what their view would be on you starting and gaining credits, taking a break and then coming back afterwards?

Dont know if this is any help to you, but let us know how get on..

 

[YellowGlass]

Thank u so much for replying
Ur answer was actualy of really good help!!
The course is actualy only 1 year, so I'm hoping that perhaps that could benifit me better?
Im going to phone the university first thing in the morning as u suggested and hopefuly they will have more advice for me.
I'm just so nervous and confused, you know? This was by no means planned and the shock of it all has just kind of thrown me off guard.
Im so nervous!!!!!!!!
xxxxxxxx

 

[lisaspoon]

Hi again!
Glad I could be of help Since its only a year (depending on how practical your course is) you may be able to ask if its possible to have coursework to do at home (before the baby is born) if you find it difficult to get into uni etc. At least if the course is only a year, you may get more completed that you anticipated and if you have to break to have the baby, you would only have a few modules/months left to complete!
Good luck speaking to them and let us know how you get on!!

Oh and Congrats on your pregnancy!!

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Hi There

I just wanted to say welcome to the forum and I hope you manage to figure things out.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and all the best to you

 

[Rosebay]

Hi,

congratulations hun! Everyone's scared at first- it's a big thing to do in your life however if you want to do it then you will discover vast amounts of hidden strength that you didn't know that you had- it's all worth it.

I work in a University, not as an academic but I have close contact with the postgraduate community and I'd echo what quiteone has said. It depends on how your course is structured. Being pregnant won't be a problem but obviously you will have your baby before the course ends so will have to see if you can do any assignments from home/get someone to look after your baby if you need to go to lectures etc. It all depends on how it works and what course you're doing. Most Universities have really good nurseries and they are generally for students first (I looked into getting my LO in and there weren't spaces- the students rightly have priority) so that could be an option. Also some Universities will have special grants and bursaries for students in financial need. My OH went back to Uni the year we had Elliott and because we are 32, have a mortgage and were all basically living on a small amount of savings we'd been saving for years Cardiff paid a lot of the course fees for us which was fabulous. Some Universities have a lot of spare money around earmarked for that kind of thing- it's worth asking.

If your course is professional then I reckon that in a way it would be easier doing it now than when you have a baby or toddler full time to have to find/fund care for while you learn and of course it will increase your opportunities to earn when you have had them. If it's a kind of education for your own sake then again it will be a good chance to do something for your own mind now while you can concentrate on anything but baby so either way I'd say go for it if you want to. If not there is always the Open University. My mum got her degree while my brother and I were tiny doing the OU and loved it...?


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[jools221181]

Hi There

I just wanted to say welcome to the forum and I hope you manage to figure things out.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and all the best to you

Me too Sorry I can't offer any advice

 

[carlyr874]

Hi there!

I work for the Student Loans Company, no student loans and or grants are available from your local education authority for postgrad study unless it is teacher training (although you won't be able to get support for teacher training if you haven't been living in the UK for a continuous period of 3 years or more prior to the start of your course).

You will need to ask the university if they offer any grants or bursaries for students on the course of study that you will be doing. If it is a professional qualification there are various research counils that may be able to offer you some financial support in the form of grants there is a lot of info on http://www.prospects.ac.uk and http://www.aimhigher.ac.uk for postgrad. There is also a loan offered by a group of banks called the career development loan (CDL) if all else fails but I don't know an awful lot about the details of the CDL.

I have come across many students who have had babies during term time and still continued with the course, many course providers are flexible with the work and allow a certain period of maternity leave (approx 6 weeks) what otions may be available to you in that respect when you see them so you know where you stand. Remember in terms of finance you'd be able to get child benefit and child tax credit once the baby is born.

With regard to your question about working while pregnant, there is no reason why you couldn't, you do not have to tell your employer until 15 weeks before your due date that you are expecting (although it might be best for health and safetly reasons) if you haven' been in continuous employment for 26 weeks with your employer then you won't get maternity pay but you will prob qalify for maternity allowance.

I hope this helps you! I do seem to have gone on quite a bit here! good luck

 

[YellowGlass]

Ahh guys thanks so much for your support and seriously the vast amounts of info !
It has been really benifical and you have all seriously made me more positive than before I found this site! Not by any means as down in the dumps as before! But still scared!!!!!! eeekk!!!

Although I do have a genuine questions aswell!
How soon is too soon to put a child into a nursery etc? I actualy have no knowledge of any kind on babies. I really do need to get researching!!
By all means if everything goes well and the baby is ok then I do want to keep this child and give it a really good start in life! With my boyfriends support or not... which is not looking good at the moment !
U know he didnt even ask me what I wanted to do when I told him. The first thing he said is 'So when are we booking the abortion?'. And when I asked what would he do if I kept it he responded with 'Hate you for the rest of my life'.

How hurtful!!! But Im actualy really glad I found this website !! Thanks ladies so much!!
xxxxxxx

 

[Rosebay]

OMG hun- he sounds like he has issues! So glad you're feeling positive.

How soon for nursery? Well it's a million dollar question really. It depends entirely on how you feel about it and how long they're going to be there for I guess. I don't have any experience of nurseries myself (lots of people round here do) but I think they all have different policies regarding age. I've heard of babies going to nursery at 6 weeks but don't have any idea how common it is. Not sure about the age with childminders- again you'd have to ask people who know (someone?).

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