ladies I feel so down today 
af showed which is bad but good... I'm not in limbo now and can start my new cycle. But I am thinking so negativly today had a really bad few months, november oh had heart pains and had to be checked at hospital and time of work which was worrying , December found out i was pregnant made mw and the oh so happy turned down a nice expensive flat as we thought we will save money and get a cheaper one, then a week later i bled heavily and lost it oh was on verge of depression anyways and it sent him other the top, he is doing an apprenticeship and has to go to college regulary for a week. Well he went to college and ignored mw nearly all week , came back feeling very depressed, had to have anti depresion tablets, he then wanted time apart, i went back to my mums and it killed me. The Saturday 18th Jan he said lets spend tonight apart and see each other Sunday and start a fresh, he sent roses to work for me and everything his tablets really helped him. He then ignored me that Saturday night, and turns out he stayed out all night, i saw all depressing messages he wrote in a diary it hurt seeing him feel so low, he came home Sunday about 2 ish after ignoring me all day. Things were fine i said ill help him, then few days later a girl messaged me. He met her at college and had been texting and ringing her for 2 weeks. He spent that night with her in the hotel. It killed me. She sent me there conversations and said they had sex. He denied it all. Silly man forgot his phone bill is in my name i got all the details. He sent her 212 messages in one week. Ouch. She has tried to cause trouble for other men in the course and my oh denies all of it. I stupidly believe him as i love him so much. I monitor everything of his and he is not depressed anymore he is happier. But i can't forget it. It hurts loads. I'll never know what happened but got to take his word i guess. He goes back to college next week. She wont be there as there on different courses and she goes back in 2 weeks. But i still feel crap about it. We are hoping march is our bfp and we can have something to smile about. I'm sorry its long i just need to get it of my chest. I many will think im stupid girl but i love him. I also feel down as my previous relationship was horrendous. I got physically abused for 6 months out the 3 years i was with this man and it has damaged me so much. All these bad memories are coming up just feel so hurt how can men do this sorry ladies.... Feels better letting it out xx
af showed which is bad but good... I'm not in limbo now and can start my new cycle. But I am thinking so negativly today had a really bad few months, november oh had heart pains and had to be checked at hospital and time of work which was worrying , December found out i was pregnant made mw and the oh so happy turned down a nice expensive flat as we thought we will save money and get a cheaper one, then a week later i bled heavily and lost it oh was on verge of depression anyways and it sent him other the top, he is doing an apprenticeship and has to go to college regulary for a week. Well he went to college and ignored mw nearly all week , came back feeling very depressed, had to have anti depresion tablets, he then wanted time apart, i went back to my mums and it killed me. The Saturday 18th Jan he said lets spend tonight apart and see each other Sunday and start a fresh, he sent roses to work for me and everything his tablets really helped him. He then ignored me that Saturday night, and turns out he stayed out all night, i saw all depressing messages he wrote in a diary it hurt seeing him feel so low, he came home Sunday about 2 ish after ignoring me all day. Things were fine i said ill help him, then few days later a girl messaged me. He met her at college and had been texting and ringing her for 2 weeks. He spent that night with her in the hotel. It killed me. She sent me there conversations and said they had sex. He denied it all. Silly man forgot his phone bill is in my name i got all the details. He sent her 212 messages in one week. Ouch. She has tried to cause trouble for other men in the course and my oh denies all of it. I stupidly believe him as i love him so much. I monitor everything of his and he is not depressed anymore he is happier. But i can't forget it. It hurts loads. I'll never know what happened but got to take his word i guess. He goes back to college next week. She wont be there as there on different courses and she goes back in 2 weeks. But i still feel crap about it. We are hoping march is our bfp and we can have something to smile about. I'm sorry its long i just need to get it of my chest. I many will think im stupid girl but i love him. I also feel down as my previous relationship was horrendous. I got physically abused for 6 months out the 3 years i was with this man and it has damaged me so much. All these bad memories are coming up just feel so hurt how can men do this sorry ladies.... Feels better letting it out xx
xxx
