Need advice

[Knucklesmama]

Hello,
Need some advice please. I am in a relationship with my child's father and I am due in six months. However, recently he has been acting very possessive and jealous, and i do not know what to do. I spent ten years in an abusive relationship, physically, mentally, emotionally (it was abusive in every way possible). My problem is this- every time my child's father acts like this, it reminds me of my previous relationship and scares the s**t out of me. I immediately put my guard up and no matter how I hard I try to be "understanding", his behavior is making me simply not want to be with him. If we were simply dating and not expecting a child, I would have no problem ending the relationship, but I'm torn b/c of the baby. Any SOUND advice would be welcome. Thank you

 

[Kayelle]

Aw so sorry you are going through this now
All men go a bit wierd , its a massive change and they can't control anything, I know my oh struggles with control (not in a really bad way) with everything from me being in pain, the date baby coming to birthing plan! I'm sure some of the other ladies will have some good advice for you, but wanted to wish you luck, and hope he pulls himself together x x x

 

[katey123]

I too was in a very abusive marriage for 11 years since escapeing from him. I too have reaconized it has left me with some emotional scaring. I think maybe you may need to seek advise and help from someone like relate or maybe womens refuge, they were simply fantastic for me had a self esteeme course they put me on was quite a journey for me , I feel I'm almost back to the person I used to be . I wish you all the best with your journey xx if you would like to pm me feel free .xx

 

[Happyred]

I think it depends if he s being protective in a good way, or just plain jealous and over bearing.
Its possible he doesnt realise how he is behaving, so maybe have a good chat with him about it and explain how he is making you feel. One thing I would say is that if you have real doubts about your relationship then there is no point staying together just because of the baby, as neither of you will be happy and your child will most likely be effected by this. From personal experience I can say that its definitely easier being a single mum than being a mum in a miserable, abusive relationship.
Sorry I cant help further, but either way I wouldnt rush into any decision, take your time and do what you hink is best for you and your lo. Good luck.

 

[Jayjay027]

I would say have a good heart to heart with him and tell him exactly how his behaviour is making u feel. Its possible he doesn't realize what he's doing.
My husband has become very over-protective of me since I got pregnant, but not to the extent that it concerns me.
If ur heart to heart doesn't return any positive results, there's no point in staying with him if he's making u unhappy. But communication is key here.

Best of luck x

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[Knucklesmama]

Thank you all so much, all your advice was quite helpful. I think they "heart to heart" is in order first, then go from there...wish me luck!!