My second miscarriage

[mrs impatient]

Hi to all those brave women out there ... I recently stumbled across this website and have never really thought about participating in a forum but when I started reading I thought this might be a good way to listen to other people, share experiences and learn more about how to cope with miscarriage!

I have just turned 34 and have been married for the past 4 years. I have been with my husband for 10 years this year. This time last year that internal clock told me that it was time to think about putting my career on hold and start thinking about having a family. Whilst I have never been that maternal my sister had a little girl two years ago and she is just beautiful so thought it was about time that I consider making my contribution to the world! Hubby and I sat in a restaurant and over a bottle of vino and a plate of not so good spaghetti we decided that the time was right. I came off the pill and we started to have fun!! Within 8 weeks I had conceived. We were skiing at the time so whilst having a great holiday I also found out that we were going to have a baby.... however 12 weeks later (April 2008) sat at work I felt some twinges, went to the toilet and saw some spots of blood. I went to the hospital, had a scan and was told that I had miscarried. Can't remember what type, was just a blur. I do remember though that the consultant told us that there was a foetal sack but no foetus/embryo.

As I guess a lot of you can imagine, I was devastated both physically and emotionally. I had done everything as per the text book and the baby had not even been there. I remember being told the stats for m/c and whilst not ever paying this much attention, I thought "well it's fate, it wasn't meant to be, we can try again." We followed the doctors advice and waited 2 months before starting the process again.

After much fun and taking the odd ovulation test (!) we conceived again in early October. This time I requested an early scan to put my mind to rest. I went in 2 weeks ago but they couldn't see anything as they thought my dates might be a little out and it was too early. I went back in on Weds this week, we were told that we had missed miscarried. Again there was a foetal sack but no foetus. I was 9w5d. I can't believe that this has happened a second time.

Again fate has its part to play and I have managed to have an ERPC yesterday so I feel a little better emotionally knowing that the baby (or lack of baby) is not inside me anymore but I am feeling the same sad, frustrated emotions as last time. I just can't get my head round it. I have been thinking about it for the past 48 hours and have gone through the whole emotional crying piece, watched a good girly film with a glass of wine which helped a little, but I am stuggling to understand how on 2 occasions we have been pregnant but there is no foetus present. Is this common??? I have no idea. I am going to visit my GP today to discuss with him but I thought some of you may have experienced something similar and could share your thoughts?

I am so used to being in control of my life and this has taken me totally out of my comfort zone. If anyone can help please could you send me a reply to this email.

Thanks for reading ... hope I haven't bored the pants of you all?!?!?

m/c April 2008 - 12w
m/c November 2008 - 9w5d

 

[Slinky Sarah]

Hiya hun and welcome to the forum, just sorry its under these aweful circumstances

I too have had 2 miscarraiges, one at 9 weeks July 07, one at 5 weeks May08. Like you it has been the most physically and mentally draining 16 months of my life so far.

Sounds like they were blighted ovums hun if you wanted the technical term for them

I dont actually know how common it is or it to occur twice in all honesty, i think a fair few ladies on here have gone through it once. Both mine were complete miscarriages, the first time i had a scan the day after i had passed the baby and i never was booked in the second time it just happened again like the first one.

Its kinda like we are in limbo now too, cos you think well is there a problem but if its like where i am they wont test you till after a third loss

This place is fantastic for support though hun, iv found it a godsend this past year and a bit. its also great for when you decide to try again.

Give me a shout anytime if i can help in anyway, even if its just to lend an ear and virtual hugs xx

 

[buddabun]

I can only echo what Sarah has said above. I am on m/c number two (although both mine were early so in a sense I am lucky) and I feel in limbo. The system out here (Brunei) is slightly different so I may well be able to get testing but noone takes you seriously until you hit number 3.

It is that sense of wondering whether it was something you did or something in you that has caused it. We all know the stats and there is pretty much nothing anyone can do. If it happens it happens but it doesn't make it any less devastating when it does.

All I can offer you is a huge hug and the hopes that it will be third time lucky for you (and Sarah and me too!).

Best of luck
x

 

[dina.marie]

im really sorry for ur losses hun.
i didnt have a scan with my 1st mc so i dont know what went wrong with the pregnancy, or the 2nd one. fate obviously decided the time wasnt right (or whatever!) its such a shame they dont bother looking into it until uv had 3 mc's

this forum has been a wonderful support for me and i hope it will be for u too. here anytime u wanna talk xxx

 

[babyblonde]

So sorry to hear of your losses

We've had both a chemical pregnancy and a m/c at 5 weeks in recent months and the girls on here have been an amazing support.

 

[Charlotte_faeriemad]

sorry I don't have any answers to your questions but just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear you have lost again, give you a and say (like others have said) this is a great place for support

 

[trixipaws]

i'v found some girls on here who have had 3 or more losses and gone on to have healthy babies. there is hope for you sweetie. i'm so sorry for your losses

 

[sarah113]