My mum is obsessed, Help!!

[Nat_lou]

So, i'm 14 weeks pregnant with baby number 1. My mum is so excited at the thought of having her first grandchild, she has wrote a list of everything that i need to buy.
I went around to her house yesterday to find that she has brought everything that she wrote down.
At 14 weeks, i've not even considered buying a thing yet!
My little bean already has a pram, moses basket, bottles, steriliser, dummies, nappies and bits of clothes and vests.
My partner and I are really grateful to have my parents do so much for us. It's just strange not having to buy things for ourselves.
Has anyone else experienced this with their parents? I actually think that my mum has become obsessed with buying baby items!

 

[holli]

Hey Hun, I don't get on with my parents and haven't spoken to them in years but I have fantastic in laws, they too are mega excited as she will be their first grandchild and they always wanted a girl (they only had my oh) so I know she will be spoiled and loved by them, they bought us a 3 in 1 pram when we found out I was having a girl so around 16-17 weeks. We are also having problems with our landlord so they bought us our own house over Christmas, i really can't thank them enough. Just think of it this way think of all the money you will be saving so if you see something you want for your baby you will have it as your mum has bought all the expensive struff but if it really annoys you Hun just have a little word with your mum and tell her how you feel explain you appreciate the help and are very thankful but you would love to buy stuff for your baby yourselves from now I'm sure she will understand xx

 

[Shanivy]

Agree with Holli if it upsets you definitely have a word. But just think now you can buy the baby all the little things that you may have hesitated on before, due to money. She's sounds very very excited lol xx

 

[Loopylou1980]

So, i'm 14 weeks pregnant with baby number 1. My mum is so excited at the thought of having her first grandchild, she has wrote a list of everything that i need to buy.
I went around to her house yesterday to find that she has brought everything that she wrote down.
At 14 weeks, i've not even considered buying a thing yet!
My little bean already has a pram, moses basket, bottles, steriliser, dummies, nappies and bits of clothes and vests.
My partner and I are really grateful to have my parents do so much for us. It's just strange not having to buy things for ourselves.
Has anyone else experienced this with their parents? I actually think that my mum has become obsessed with buying baby items!

Hey hun ... Yes my mum was very much like that when i had my 1st, Its perfectly normal for Grandparents to behave like that she just wants to help you, My advice is to take all the help that you can get, It will give you more money to spend on the baby as they get older too, There`s still plenty of things that you`ll need & that you can choose for yourself, I`am due to have my third baby in about 6 weeks time & nobody has really brought us anything lol

 

[PeanutButter]

I'd be upset that they picked everything out, I Mean it's great saving money, but you miss out going baby shopping for prams and cots etc I would have been grateful then cried my eyes out lol.
We had stuff bought for us but we went out with in laws and parents to show them what we wanted and still got the shopping experience.

My MIL is always buying stuff for DD but little things like clothes (stuff she will probably never wear) but it's nothng like that.

Kinda seems unfair that your mom has taken that away from you, she's already done, she's had her turn, now its yours.

 

[Ethanmummy13]

Nip it in the bud now and just tell her. I had exactly the same and especially coz it was their first grandchild but think they forget its your first child!!!! Only thing you can do is tell her and if things aren't to your taste you just say you appreciate the thought but these are the things you want to buy with your partner xx

 

[Nat_lou]

Thanks for the replies. My partner doesn't mind that he's not had to take me shopping, haha. He's excited now that because we've spent no money on baby things, he can have a new car. (The car that we have now is 18 years old!)
I appreciate all of the help from my parents but i do feel like i've not chosen anything for myself. I think that when we find out what we're having, i'm going out to buy the first lot of coloured clothes!
I'm really grateful for the stuff that she has brought and she has spent alot of money.
Maybe i'll just go on a big spree when we find out what we're having, not that my partner will be happy about spending hours in baby shops! Haha.

 

[Shepherdess]

glad you're feeling a bit better about it. my mum gets carried away easily. when I was pregnant first time she'd ask about a few things like the travel system and then she bought it for us but she'd also spontaneously buy things to. I was super grateful for the help and support but once or twice I did have to say please don't buy this, e.g. wellies and swim suits were things I wanted to buy because baby only needs one of each of things, if that makes sense, and i wanted to pick them whereas she could buy loads of dresses and it wouldn't really matter.

that probably sounds daft but we're farmers and I wanted to choose her wellies as I knew she'd be in them all the time

 

[KHTW]

It it were me I'd be grateful for the little things but pram, moses basket etc I'd like for them to ask me about first before buying. There is loads of things to consider before getting the big items and I'd like to have a say. But it is super sweet of them to want to spend the money on your baby... maybe next time they could just give you the money to spend lol x

 

[millielaura]

Oh bless her that is very nice of her! I think I would of been a bit sad at not choosing the pram etc but now looking back I would of loved it if someome saved us all the money haha! Will give you more for stuff like family trips away and christmas presents next year etc xxx

 

[MissKW]

I can relate to this also. The first time I fell pregnant I was keeping it a secret from my family as I wanted to surprise them for xmas, my hubby however couldn't help himself and told his mum and dad right away. My MIL then got obsessive and started buying things from day 1 despite us forever asking her not to. She gave us a bouncer, moses basket, car seats, rocking horse, toys and whatever else only for us to loose the pregnancy at 12 weeks and be stuck with all this stuff in the attic. I think she learnt from that as during this pregnancy she hasn't bought a single thing, though did give us some money to buy bottle sets etc.
This pregnancy however I did tell my mum straight away as she was disappointed that I didn't tell her sooner last time. Right at the start me and my hubby sat down with her and told her specifically not to buy anything for the baby 1. because we lost the last baby and 2. as we wanted the opportunity to pick things our selves. We wanted everything to be modern, neutral and to match. We all agreed that if they wanted to buy anything in particular they would take us out to choose what we wanted and other than that they would only buy things like cloths and toys etc.
She clearly didn't value the conversation as within a week she bought us a cheap pram that we have no use for, bought us a moses basket that both myself and hubby hate but are now stuck with and have to use even though its so frilly I will cringe every time out little boy is in there, she bought a ridiculous changing bag that is so girly hubby wouldn't be seen dead with and a pram insert that is not only ridiculous and would probably suffocate baby if we did use it but wont have use for it anyway as I am due in early spring so it will be too warm to ever be used by then. She gave us a changing mat even though we have one already and a bedding set that looks really out of place. She also brought back another 2 prams and I blatantly refused to take them as we already have a travel system that hubby picked along side the one she gave us to start with so we have no use for them and we simply don't have the storage space. So she now has 3 prams of her own to use with her only grandchild... Because of her senseless buying nothing we have matches apart from the nursery itself, we have had to go and buy a second of things that is actually practical enough to use, we are stuck with a load of clutter that we have no use for and we still have a huge list of things we actually need because she spent money on things we didn't need instead of picking things off a list of things we do still need, so in reality shes just picked out things SHE likes and made life more difficult for us as well as wasting her own money. We cant just give her gifts back as its ungrateful and I will feel guilty about it. But It really irritates us and we are angry that she didn't listen and we are stuck with so many useless items that we hate and will be embarrassed to be seen with, especially as we have a boy not a girl. I mean the moses basket is so ugly hubby wants to burn it XD
If I ever have another baby I will be making it very clear that we will not be accepting any gifts at all other than cloths, bibs and blankets so they cant complain if we hand them back lol.
I suggest you do the same otherwise it quickly gets out of control and they really do just take over. It is a precious time and something you don't get to do very often so make it special for you, your partner and baby, don't let other people take over this experience, you will probably regret it, I know I do lol.

 

[PeanutButter]

Agreed with above. MIL bought is a leg warmer thing for the pram (our pram is dark grey) and she asked if she could so we said yes, thinking she obviously knows what the pram looks like, she's come back with this massive bright pink frilly thing I was like what the fk, I just had to say yeah that's nice. It will never be used. Ever. Hubby said he can't see anything wrong with it, yet when I was looking at prams was only allowed Dark colours cos didn't wanna push anything ridiculous around lmal

 

[Nat_lou]

Thank you everyone, i thought that it was just my mum. I really thought that she'd gone insane. I'm glad that i'm not the only with insane family members, lol.
I spoke to my mum and asked her not to buy us anything else as when we know what we're having, we'd like to kit out the nursery and wardrobe ourselves. My mum was okay about it. I just said that if i find something that i want and can't get out to pick it up, i'll ask her. She seemed okay with that.
We went to my partners mums house yesterday, she gave us a box full of useful things like nappies and wipes which, will definitely get used.
I've started to feel more excited about having a baby now that i feel like i can do more myself after speaking to my mum. She's wanted to be a grandmother for a while and i understand that she's excited but also, it's my first baby and i want to be excited about it too.
Thanks for sharing your stories, it definitely makes me feel less alone and like i'm not the only one with the crazy mother. Lol.

 

[MrsWilson]

I've bought nothing for my baby girl but my mum has bought a crib, a cot, towels, blankets, nappies, clothes, about 12 stuffed animals (I'm not joking), picture frames, baby books, and lots of other stuff. I'm grateful more than anything.

 

[candymycandy]

Why don’t you suggest she keeps some of this stuff for her house (make out it will be so much easier for when she babysits!?) so you can still pick some of the bigger purchases? x

 

[Donna88]

Agreed with above. MIL bought is a leg warmer thing for the pram (our pram is dark grey) and she asked if she could so we said yes, thinking she obviously knows what the pram looks like, she's come back with this massive bright pink frilly thing I was like what the fk, I just had to say yeah that's nice. It will never be used. Ever. Hubby said he can't see anything wrong with it, yet when I was looking at prams was only allowed Dark colours cos didn't wanna push anything ridiculous around lmal

Buy another one for when you're pushing the pram and use that one when he has it since he see's nothing wrong with it