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Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Xena, Dec 10, 2007.
personal issue deleted for privacy
Sounds like a pickle of a situation you are in.
It sounds similar to the relationshil i have with my mother in law - she is extremely flakey, all over the place, up and down emotionally. Last year she talked about investing in a property with us, and I said no way.
Reading your post, i am glad of my decision. Even though she is your mother, it is very rarely advisable to enter into a business decision with someone you have a shakey relationship with - you will always regret it.
Firstly, I would ask your aunty not to inform you of your mothers ramblings. Tell her until you hear such things from your mother, you are inclined to believe that she is playing up.
Secondly, I would go round and see your mother, face to face and talk through all these bits and pieces. Take the email round to her, and say how hurt you are that she feels the need to say things to other members of the family. And also, the transaction is finished, she can regret as much as she wants, but it was her choice to go through with the swap. I think it is a time for tough love - you must not allow your mother to play the victim. The situation she is in is of her own making.
Phew, hope you read this... It upsets me when i read of people whose parents dont approve of their partner, and call them names. it is an insult to YOU that your mother speaks as she does about your partner. Do no stand for it.
she sounds totally unreasonable tell her to p1ss off you don't need the hassle
She sounds like all mothers to me, just a bit more extreme than most!
My mum drives me nuts but you have to accept your family, you don't have to like them all of the time but you have to love them and respect them. (Obviously I'm talking about everyday families like mine and yours, not Fred West or anything )!
You have your own family to worry about and take care of, you shouldn't be babysitting your mother and if she says one thing but means another then what can you do? You're not a bloody mind reader! She needs to accept that she has made the swap and make the most of it. Two faced people often find their words come back and bite them on the backside and thats her issue not yours. I think when you have your own kids it really makes you look at your parents in a different light and you can see all their faults so don't be too hard on her but at the same time don't take any crap!!!! And as for your aunt I'd tell her to butt out. Some people get off on a bit of drama. If she really thought your mum was going to kill herself why wasn't she either straight round your mums or straight round yours or at least on the telephone?
true she could have rang me (coming straight round is a bit impossible though - she lives in Chelmsford I live in Leeds).
Thanks all of you for the advice, I do appreciate it xxx