My grandads really ill :(

[jenna]

My grandad was told he had 2 or 3 heart attacks before xmas and only 25% of his heart is working because after his 1st heart attack he didnt get treatment and his heart struggled to cope. My nanan gave him loads of pills for his head ache and thats the only reason hes still alive. The pills thinned his blood and could get passed the clot in his artery.

He went for some tests and said he was upset that he had loads of doctors pokeing at him for ages and they messed up an operation. They put a camera in his leg and fed it up to his heart, he later found out it wasnt necessary and was a more painfull way of doing it.

I didnt think he would make it past xmas and after the messing about he has become more depressed. Hes always been fit and hes starting to get really old and frail really quickly. He wont do anything because he doesnt want to start a project that he will never finish. Weve tried taking him to do new things and hes started looking and feeling better. Got a txt from my mum saying he's had another accident and couldnt get home. My uncle had to drive him home from fishing because he had a bad chest and couldnt breathe.

Its amazing how strong he is and how hes copeing with everything. He went from being really healthy to almost dead in a matter of hours. Only just realised its been almost 4 months since iv seen my grandad and if i dont see him soon i might never see him again. I feel so selfish and guilty. I wish i was more like my grandad... Just wanted to let it all out

 

[MissGobby]

 

[mum2be?]

Ah hunny im sorry to your grandad not well

 

[mum&2girls]

 

[foxymum]

i'm sorry hun.

 

[tots hope]

 

[monster_munch]

Oh no Jenna - thats really sad.
Hope he feels better in himself soon.

 

[jenna]

Thank you
I dont know wether im strong enough to go and see him. Its hard when i know he will never recover from it. Its 100% not fixable. I dont know how he copes knowing that. It was heart breaking last time i saw him when he read me the letter saying they cant do anything. He was sat crying but trying not too . I told him its ok to be upset but every ones here for him if he needs anything. Hes really upset that when he dies my nanan wont be able to look after herself. He doesnt want to go anywhere incase he died or gets ill again. The only thing he can do is be active to keep his circulation going but its hard when everything is making him tired and he gets pains when hes out of breath.
I know staying away from him is unfair but its hard to see him, i just want to burst into tears and give him a massive hug .

To make it worse my uncle is living with them and is making my grandad upset. My grandad has over £20,000 cash in the house (he doesnt trust banks) and as soon as he got ill my uncle got kicked out and had to live with him. Every one thinks hes trying to get his hands on the money and my grandad is really upset that his own son is doing this. Hes been threatend and some one chased him with a knife and tried stabbing him in my grandads house and the extra stress is too much for him. Hes consantly getting knocks on the door and said all he wants to do is relax infront of the telly but hes scared who it might be especially when its as late as 4 in the morning!

 

[Rosebay]

To be honest hun my advice would be to go and see him while you can, even if it means that you burst into tears and hug him. Just tell him that you love him and that you will be there to look out for your nanan when he's not able to and I think that will help him and you. When people die suddenly with no warning you can spend the whole of your life regretting the fact that you never told them how much they meant to you, if you have a chance to say it I really would if you can as you might regret it if you don't. I have lost several people suddenly and now I try my best to tell people how much I love them just in case I lose them before I have a chance to say it. If you can't do it face to face maybe a phone call or letter?

The money/uncle situation sounds like an extra stress that none of you need, do you think it's possible to pursuade your grandad to put the money in the bank for your nanan's sake? Or to let you look after it? Is there somewhere else that your Uncle could stay, are the police involved as it sounds like he needs protecting?

Sorry it all sounds hard for you at the moment hun we're all here for you if you need to talk about it

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[Happybunny]

Hiya sweetie,

No wonder you wanted to come here and let some of these feelings out, you have so much going on! You are feeling worried about your grandad and you are feeling guilty about not being able to see him in his frail state.
You sound like a wonderful and caring granddaughter. Your feelings are entirely understandable, it is a very sad situation to be in. I think you could benefit from talking to someone who is trained in helping people explore their emotions and enable them to reach decisions about difficult problems. Careline is a great charity, it is free and you can talk to someone over the phone (not like usual counselling services which are face to face and may require several visits) http://www.carelineuk.org/index.html
I am thinking of you honey, I hope things will get better for you and your family.
Michelle
xxx

 

[nikkif]

 

[Alfiesmummy]

Jenna I am so sorry your granddad is ill.

Can i ask you to please re-think visiting him, I think that even if you spent a few days upset aft6erwards you have that sort of chance to say goodbye ... even without saying it, youll get to give him a cuddle.

i never knew my granddad not really because i was so young, id of loved to really know him as he was an amazing man.

Do what you feel is right for you sweetheart but if you feel that when the time is too late that you will regret not seeing your granddad for one last time, then you should go see him.

sending my love and thoughts to you hunn

 

[trixipaws]

 

[Charlotte & Emily]

aww im so sorry hun

 

[lozzi]

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awww im sorry hun

 

[Tina & Gabs]

 

[jenna]

With my uncle - the police cant get involved because my uncle is really dodgy.He actually threatend a 70 year old man over a car and its his kids that are always after him. Iv told him he has to leave and he just laughs and goes on about 'if you were paying more tax the council would give me a house'. Hes over 40, never worked, had 6 kids and laughed and said he would never be made to work, he does work but also claims sick for a bad back and does nothing but cause trouble!

I turned down the chance to look after my grandad when he was really ill after an operation. He needed some one to sit with him 24 hours to make sure he didnt bleed. I really wanted to do it so we could spend some time together but they said if he bled he would probably die right there and then but we should call 999. It just could bare the fact that if he did bleed i would have been the last person he saw/spoke too. I would have felt really selfish, and tbh i wouldnt want to see him dead or bleeding to death. Now i feel like iv totally let him down.

I think i might go and see him on sunday. My other grandad died and i didnt get to say goodbye because he got ill suddenly and started forgetting who people were and my parents didnt want me to see him like that. When ever i think about him i really regret not seeing him 1 last time. I dont want that to happen to his one, even if its hard on me it must be worse for him.

Hes so brave.

 

[libs]

 

[Rosebay]

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