Mums pregnant 2nd time or have other kids...

[x.Lilly.x]

Sorry I dont know if this is the right place to put this...
but I keep getting really upset and emotional that it won't just be me and my son anymore.
Being a single mummy me and my son are very very close.
I just keep worrying hell feel Im leaving him or not being a good a mummy when Poppy-rose arrives as he wont be able to have my full attention.
Im scared hell feel pushed out or that I don't love him the same anymore
Im planning on having some quality time together the next few weeks, making cakes, going to the park, taking him to play places before poppy arrives.
But we have such a close bond Im just scared that will go away, hes my little boy and I dont want him to feel like we cant have as close a bond because he has a sister if that makes sence?
did anyone else have the same worries with there 2nd pregnant or hve had them etc?
its getting me really down some nights, and Ill feel really guilty if I feel at all stressed.
Like tonight hes teething really bad and I said to him 'oh joe please just calm down' as he wouldnt stop crying, and then afterwards felt awful that I felt stressed at him

 

[JJ Mum]

Don't you worry about this at all Lily, do you know when you have number 2, you will find you over prepare, over compensate and over indulge your older child as a matter of course. Baby 2 will be plonked in a cot, pushchair and / or transported about, when your older child is doing something and generally have to fit in around number 1, which makes them really quite accomodating babys actually. When feeding you can make that fun too for number 1, cuddles and tely together on the sofa while feeding), or at the table ( playdough time) or on the sofa , (story time with mum), child 1 can turn the pages for you! My eldest got the lion share of my attention for a good years and he had a younger brother at 23 mths, so really don't worry.

As for the bonding thing, you will never loose your close bond, just gain another , it's brilliant, that just happens too X

 

[Lynzlogan87]

maybe this will help put things into perspective????



Loving Two


I walk along holding your 3-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before.


I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.


You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.


But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her as though I am betraying you.


But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.


More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.


But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.


I watch how she adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently.


And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know youll never share my love. There is enough of that for both of you .you each have your own supply.


I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

 

[LilyMac]

Aw that nearly made me cry! I think that hits it on the head perfectly

I have no first hand experience but I did watch my sil go through the same thing, she was terrified for so long but it all worked out in the end and now her son and daughter have the most beautiful bond not only with her but with eachother too.
Just involve your oldest in as much as you can so he doesn't feel pushed out and that way he's bonding with both of you equally. There will be times when baby will have to come first but he will eventually learn to understand and you can always make it up to him later on when baby is sleeping or something.

Stay strong chick, you'll always have a special bond with your first born, that will never go away and hell always knoaw how much you love him XX

 

[x.Lilly.x]

awww that made me cry, thats soo lovely. Did you write that hun?

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

Hiya I worried about this too me and Mia were very close as her dad moved out when she was 18month and we just always had her and me til I met Peter when Mia was 3 and then when I fell pregnant I worried that I would have no time to spend with Mia and that she would feel left out when Ellie came along but its brought us all much closer together so this will be the same for you you and your boy will all be close and bond great xxx

 

[Lynzlogan87]

awww that made me cry, thats soo lovely. Did you write that hun?

No i didn't write it.
A friend of mine posted it on my 3yr olds forum when i felt how you did a few weeks back!

she found it on a website, always makes me feel better xx