Mums of 3 or more.

[Freya]

Hi,

Have 2 children one is nearly 5 the other one 8 months old. I love them both but don't feel that my family is complete. I would like another baby. My partner is also toying with the idea (would say he is keen but he is more like what happens, happens). Am I mad. I find managing 2 children quiet easy BUT I have a good age gap. What would happen if I had a third and should I just put it out of my mind altogether.

Also is cost unbearable and how many family ticket things do you miss out on??

 

[foxymum]

hi freya! we have a 10 yr old girl, 5 yr old boy & of course Louie! also my stepson , hubbies son dean who is 13 lives with us, so you could say i have 4 children with big age gaps (13 down to 3 mth!!!)
its hard work but its great to have a big family, always very noisy! its great for the kids too coz Louie always has lots of attention from the older 2!

really though the cost you don't really notice it, i suppose its more school trips to pay for , but coz theres big age gaps i don't have to worry about Louie & school uniform/trips yet!
if you've got room in your house (we havn't, hoping to have an extension) then go for it.
i too would love another one, but i think 5 is pushing it.
we took the 3 of them (Louie wasn't thought of then!) to lanzarote in sept 2005 & yes we had to pay for 2 children & 3 adult seats coz of dean he was 12, so holidays are obviously going to be more expensive, but hey thats only once a year.
good luck

 

[kirlykird]

I have number 3 on the way.

We have 8 yr old twins so have quite an age gap but we are really excited.

Luckily we have 4 bedrooms though OH does say that he would want more.

If it's what you want, go for it

 

[budge]

i have four

having two is a doddle, three is a shock and four?? well you're mad by then so you're numb to the stress!

 

[kellie80]

I'm on number 3 now so i can't really comment. I have a 6 year old and a 12 month old and i'm due again in 4 weeks. I have been told by quite a few people that it much harder going from 2 to 3 than it is 1 to 2 but i didn't stop me.

 

[budge]

its definately harder going from two to three -

 

[Freya]

Thank you for the replies. Room is not an issue we have a 4 bed house and as I have one of each already they could always share.

I think we just have to think about it a bit more first. Maybe I have been led into a false sense of security because I have found having 2 as easy as having one.

Watch this space.

 

[budge]

freya one thing i would say is that its easier having them close together rather than big gaps inbetween them.
my first two were 15 months apart then i had a 4 year gap with the second and third. i wish id had the third straight after the second. same with this one although it was an accidental pregnancy so it was out of my hands.

if you want a 3rd have one now

 

[Dee1985]

its definately harder going from two to three -

i will bare that in mind

and i have been told by alot of people that the 3rd labour is the worst

 

[foxymum]

i was told that about the labour being the worst with your 3rd again & again while i was expecting Louie, well what a load of rubbish!!! the labour was lovely, apart from obviously the end pushing part.
you thinking of no 3 then dionne

 

[budge]

mt third labour was a doddle! i sneezed and out she flew!

 

[foxymum]

my best friend used to say to me when i was having Louie that i would cough & he would fly out!!!

 

[kellie80]

I hope thats not true about 3rd labour being worst. I have never been told that before, your scaring me! I have been told that the after pains get worse each time though?

 

[budge]

after pains get loads worse!
this time round with my fourth they lasted over a week and they were VILE

 

[kirlykird]

I hope thats not true about 3rd labour being worst. I have never been told that before, your scaring me! I have been told that the after pains get worse each time though?

i thought that too, though, the first 2 came at the same time by c section but fingers crossed hopefully this will be my first real labour

 

[Minime]

What kind of age gap is recommended? i.e how long do you need to give for your body to recover? DD is nearly 14 and I'm having this one soon and planning another but not sure when would be the best time given that I'm old and knackered already

Only thing Ive said is I would prefer a summer baby next time

 

[Dee1985]

budge which labour was the worse?
well my sis Jade she is the third but before her mum had kayleigh who died so really mums "worse labour" would have been her 4th labour really?
and my mums friend who agreed her 3rd was the worse had a litle girl that died in birth. so her worse labour would have been her 4th too.

i had after pains with Harley they aint nice and thats only my 2nd. mum said they were bad after tyler her last child . she was 37 when she had Tyler she said it was hard as she felt she wernt as strong as her young child birthing days

 

[sarah113]

mine are all quite close together my oldest was 3 on 27th november, my middle one was 2 on the 11th december and my son was 1 on 24th december and this one is due at the end of march, i find it hard sometimes but most of the time its quite easy and my oldest is very helpful too

 

[emilia]

its definately harder going from two to three -

i will bare that in mind

and i have been told by alot of people that the 3rd labour is the worst

Actually, my third labour was much harder than my second labour! It really did bring tears to my eyes....

I also have a big age gap... Eldest son is nearly 13, daughter 10 and half and one year old baby. I must confess... I'd love another baby too, but DH had vasectomy in September. I'm not saying anything to him though - we're not reallly being careful as we're suppose to (he could still produce active sperm for up to a year).... so I'll be happy to have one more chance.

Dispite the age gaps - I do find it hard at times. I HAVE to give my older children some attention and I sometimes that requires a bit of juggling with a baby. But from an entertaining point - Oscar has a ball! The kids play him into a state of complete exhaustion.

I'd say "Go for it". From an expense point - you'll always cope.

Good luck
Emilia xx

 

[budge]

mimime from experience i recommmend an age gap of no more than two years. DON'T have a 3 year gap! ive had nothing but trouble with Bethany. Its becasue she can remember being on her own with me and feels pushed out.

Dionne my second labour was the worse. It was becasue i had to have a drip to speed things up after my waters broke and Rebekah had a poo.
She was a pound and a half bigger than my first two which was quite a big jump.