Mother In Law

[pinkyprincess]

I've just realised that I've only brought my child 6 babygrows, the rest of our 2 drawers full of clothes my MIL has brought. I've just said to OH she needs to stop as I want to buy for him and he said 'well it's her first grandchild' and I was like 'it's my first child!' I've asked him to say something to her and he's told me to say something (to which I responded 'she's your mum!') my family have brought nothing as I think they are waiting for him to be born. Im feeling bad enough that they are going to hardly see the baby very often as they live far away, where she only lives 10 mins away (she's already told us that she's picking us up from the hospital... I think bringing him home is a special moment for me and OH.)
I get on really well with her normally, it's just wound me up as she had a bag packed full of baby clothes for us yesterday and now getting a bit annoyed!

 

[marshma]

Hi Hun, if you do get on quite well just explain to her that you have more than enough for the baby and hopefully she will stop.

 

[Monkey]

Hey PP, You are not alone. I am in the exact same boat as you, however not only do I feel like I should be the one doing most of the stuff because it's my first, but I also feel guilty when she does things or is there at times (during scans) . That's because my father is half way round the world and cant experience the things with me and I dont think it's fair.

 

[positivity :)]

yeah i agree hun, say to her 'by the time my friends and family buy things there will be too much, but thank you so much for the things you've bought so far' or something like that xx

 

[Piglet10]

im the opposite, if i was you id be saying"right he has enough of small sizes so if ur insisting on buying him stuff can u buy him , bigger sizes, nappies wipes formula toiletries etc etc!" lol xx

 

[nik106]

im the opposite, if i was you id be saying"right he has enough of small sizes so if ur insisting on buying him stuff can u buy him , bigger sizes, nappies wipes formula toiletries etc etc!" lol xx

I think that's good advice! In fact, i thought it was such good at advice and used it myself that when i went and washed all the baby clothes and put them into sizes, i realised i had about 3 babygrows and 6 vests to last me the 0-3month stage!

Other than that, i don't know what to suggest. I have the opposite situation, that my mum is into buying everything and has been coming to midwife appointments as my OH can't make it whilst my MIL and OH's family don't seem the slightest bit interested. I don't think my OH even minds as my family have bought some of the bigger stuff and his family have less money to spare, so i can't even ask how him he would deal with it.

A few people have asked me what i need and i know a friend of mine bought everything and then towards the end people started asking what they could buy them, so maybe come up with a list of things you still need to get and ask them for those, people tend to want to buy useful things rather than stuff that won't be used.

As for the joy of buying your own things (i know how important this can be, i had to stamp feet to choose my own pushchair and cot rather than have a hand-me down), maybe you could say to her that you really appreciate everything she's bought, but you would also really like to be able to pick the things you would like him to have too. Maybe suggest that if she wants to buy stuff, that she takes you along so you can pick it out as a compromise, she still gets to buy for him, she clearly is very excited about having a grandchild, but you get the things you want without having to worry so much about the money side of things! Our budget got tightened suddenly, and having our families ask what we wanted worked out well for us, i've picked loads of stuff out with my mum which she then paid for, and i then still had the money to buy some of the other things that i would have had to compromise on had i had to buy everything.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I have banned any more newborn stuff! If I need more I'll send OH to tesco when he's born to buy some cheepys.
She's brought us the cot (which I picked and am eternally grateful as that was another £300 we would've had to spend) and she's insisted on being in charge of toiletries which is fine by me as I don't have a clue! Lol it's just the clothes, and the turning everything into a military mission (OH has 2 brothers and a sister) and she's trying to ferry out buying everything out to them ( when my family haven't even thought of it yet, still 20 whole weeks to go) instead of giving me the money going 'this is from Keith for the baby bouncer' leaving me thinking 'no its not I've asked my dad for that!' and just confusing me with it instead of just saying 'here's £50 from Keith towards the baby'

Sorry this has turned into a huge rant!!

 

[pinkyprincess]

It's a good idea re older clothes. I was only saying to OH that we should buy some summer stuff in the sale for next year!

 

[l_maclean]

If you usually get on well with her - maybe you should try explaining some of this to her. You could also tell her that people on your side of the family are asking what you need (even if this isnt strictly true ) - so you'd like some time to work out what you have and what you still need - so that you dont end up with double things.

xxx

 

[Susanne]

I know how you feel! My mother in law was exactly the same with both my children, so annoying! I could have killed her when she topped it all by buying my little boy a train set when he was 1. I had been sooo looking forward to getting him his first train set when he was 2 or 3 and actually old enough to enjoy it... Aaaaargh! And husbands are useless in these situations, I know. Console yourself with the knowledge that you will be having a son too, who will always stick up for his mummy instead of his wife...

 

[pinkyprincess]

Console yourself with the knowledge that you will be having a son too, who will always stick up for his mummy instead of his wife...

Haha love it! So true! Xx